TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS

  An old friend (in her late seventies) confided a few days ago that she felt ignored, insignificant, a nobody, and posed this question: "Is this how it feels when getting older?" -

I could have forwarded an answer to that. But decided not to. Because, I think, there is no single answer that would satisfy the questions running through her mind.

But I believe that we all have our own individual and diverse thoughts  on the subject.

There is a huge generation gap there. The old and the young. The young are just starting out with their lives. So much to do. Many dreams to fulfill. Expectations to pursue. Living out lives imagined with high hopes and creative imagination. 

And the old.... things are pretty much toned down, diminished in context and content. Yet strangely sated in different ways not everyone would truly understand.

Two different worlds. But they collide everyday. Lols ☺️

That's life ...... our world.😊
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WHEN THE SOUL SPEAKS --- LISTEN!

☕👭☕A friend called me up not so long ago. Having just arrived from Cebu she wanted to meet up for a chat over coffee. Yet I bowed out of the invitation as there were errands to do. But she's not one to easily give up, so she determinedly tied me down to the phone with updates about her life in Cebu. It was a long tale, but I sensed something seemed off with the way she sounded.

🙄“Okay, what’s up?” I asked straightforwardly. We’ve been friends too long that honesty and straightforwardness have become a comfy thing between us.

“Len, sometimes I wish I was just me; I feel old and weary.” She replied with unsurprising honesty.😔 "Like am down this old beaten path leading to where I do not know."

Let’s think about this……

That’s a ‘hugot’ line, right? Meaning that runs deep. We would probably guess that something or some things happened somewhere in there which had caused this weariness of the soul.

🤓“I wish I was just me…” ---Do you know who you are? What roles do you play in life (I know we can be many things to many different people)? What matters to you? Do you or do you not care? Do you sometimes wish you were doing something else? Or was someone else?

There is no straight or right answer to those questions. Or so I believe. Because you are that person in every-question-and-answer posed lived by you at many different and diverse points in your life. You hate, you love, you adore, you are brave, you despise, and you abhor, also can be cold and despicable when reason presents itself. You pretend you are strong and yet vulnerable too, you are confused, and sometimes stubborn even in being wrong. You are all of the above and even so much more. You are everything a human being is. Perfect and flawed. But admittedly at the end of the day when the dust has settled and you stand alone tired and utterly exhausted by all that, you drop to the ground buckling under the overwhelming weight of it all and exhale a weary … ‘I wish I was just me.’😔

🤓"…old and weary” ---
Oh but I hear that often said by friends and strangers alike. Both from the young and the old.

👨‍💼👩‍💼When young people say it, it rises from being drained of all energy, effort, plans, strength, courage, hope, and perhaps faith, too. Trying to make it in this crazy world of ours is tough. Pursuing dreams even tougher. And you are not even assured of success or of making it. Sometimes it may seem so near and yet still so far. So each day you struggle with frustration, sadness, disappointment, irritation, failed expectations, and bits and pieces of your broken dreams. Every night you plop down on your bed worn out to the bone. So exhausted, wondering if you'll ever make it.

👴👵When old people utter those words, it expresses a mix of everything past, present, and even the future. It hovers over why-did-it-happen or what-could-have-been. Regrets creep in and weigh down both the mind and the heart. It doesn’t help if in the home they have become just a piece of the furniture. Ignored, often left alone, no longer enjoying the vibrant exchange or connection enjoyed with the family he thought he knew so well. Although not entirely the family’s fault. Because age imposes new restrictions on the mind and body thus puts on limitations to choices, his or theirs. This reality creates a painful void for loneliness and longing. The soul becomes weary, drained, alone.😔

👼In all this, young or old, it’s the soul that feels and bears the brunt of our physical effort and lives. It is strong, no doubt about that, but sometimes you just have to -- let it breathe…give it rest to recharge itself… give it space to become new again. Just as the body needs to rest – the soul needs that too. And for a definite purpose -- to remember its connection with the Divine. It does need to reconnect every so often with its Creator. It needs to be renewed in its life purpose. God creates and can recreate.👼

When the soul speaks, learn to listen ..... and pray! 

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SOMETIMES ALONE IS GOOD COMPANY

(A post from long ago. Just to tell someone that being alone need not be lonely.)

It’s not all the time that I want company, or listen to the noise of endless banter, or watch the chaotic human parade of other people’s lives. It’s vexing to the mind, is wearying to the heart, and tires the soul down. It leads to confusion and troubling vibrations in the air turning my world upside down. It’s startling how all these can touch your own sphere of life and leave you so drained by it all.

Sometimes … I simply want to be alone. To be there in my-own-moment just being - To feel the soft breeze on my face – To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin – To hear birds chirping on the trees – To feel the waters under my feet walking by the seashore – To touch the petal of a flower – To watch the sun go down on the horizon – To let the rain touch my skin – To write my dreams on clouds of flight – To be still - To hear my heartbeat.

Sometimes .... I simply want to be that little child on God’s lap. I remember those times when I told Him .... about how Peter and Jane have hurt me in school ----- to ask him to make Billy the Bully a good boy so that he won’t bother me again when I walk by his house ----- to tell my mom and dad to please know why I cry when they leave for the office ----- to tell Him how bad I feel because Santa Claus didn’t give me a puppy for Christmas ----- to ask Him to make grandpa well again so that we could play ----- to thank Him for letting Mom cook my favorite spaghetti with huge meatballs every Saturday!! 

Aahhh...the prayers of a little child. 

Sometimes ... I simply want to be with my thoughts – thinking of the past and the things it has left me with – thinking of the present and how it’s forming my tomorrows – wondering what my tomorrows will be like or when I will be finally gone.

Sometimes .... I simply want to BE – seeing my flaws, mistakes, imperfections – seeing how fragile and vulnerable I truly am – looking at my limitations, my borders, my walls – and yet understanding that I too have my own strengths, potential, and the power to dream. That everything there, good or bad, has shaped who I am. That all that I was, is, and will be is the story of my life.

Sometimes .. I simply want to be here – with nothing – doing nothing – yet loving everything.

Here's a quote that's closest to my heart......

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"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” 

                              Pearl S. Buck (1892 – 1973)

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So then.... Learn to treasure your alone moments. Do not be afraid to be alone. It is a precious gift, too! So precious. 

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Life Is A Good Mix For Learning

 Sometimes you don't need a long trail of diplomas to tell the world that you're smart, brilliant, special, important. I know of such a wonderful human being and he ain't even graduated. What he does so well is talk with his brain-think with his heart. He connects with utter simplicity, truth, honesty, such uncommon empathy and understanding that it makes you wonder where in heaven's name did he come from?! 

Wonderful human. Wonderful friend.

But I lost him. Life had other plans for him. 

For the blessing of your friendship I stand grateful and in awe. Continue to be the candle that shines in people's lives. God bless you and your loved ones. 

YUP...LOVE IS SOMETHING GOD DOES VERY WELL

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😔Aawww gee.....this one brought a tear to my eyes. Because it is so true. Has anyone ever thought about it? Can you ever imagine if God wasn't there --- where would you be in the midst of life's trials, burdens, struggles, mishaps particularly those you don't know about;  those hidden from your sight and understanding. Or even those which impact is hardly felt by you or not at all.  Or perhaps didn't hurt you as hard as it should have.  Unbelievable and yet true. San'g bundok na problema na pala ang tumama sa'yo, di mo alam. San ka nalang dadamputin kaya kung wala si God!? (A popular fall-back expression by the old folks.)

Aminin (a favorite expression used by my niece) ...... God has done so much for you...far beyond your human understanding. Yet it's done. He did it. He saved you many times- in many ways- for many reasons. You needn't have to know. Because....God by whatever name you know him..... HE just loved you and loves you so much beyond measure!!! Love....is something HE does very well.

Yeah .....God loves us.🥰😍 Awesome!!!

SOMETIMES PAIN IS A GOOD TEACHER

 🌿⚘🌿⚘🌿

A friend asked me this question.............. 'What do you do when bad happens to you?' .I looked at her and said.. 'You've been hurt bad?' .. 'Hey, I'm doing the asking here.' she retorted in jest.

🌿

As every person is a story you can be very sure that hurt and pain along with other things complete a person's personal history. Each bit did its part to shape the person for better or for worse and this definitely will impact people who come close to the territory or happen to be near it or get drawn to it by some unexplained circumstance. People collide with one another by some mysterious force but its reason not fully or always understood. Not yet anyway. This human collision does get us bruised.. battered... shaken up... hurt... wounded and scarred. Unhappy memories are then created which sadly can still prick even long after the experience is gone. Some may say forgiven, but many more will say not forgotten.

🌿

Bad can hurt. We all know it as it comes to us in many different forms, ways, means, intensity, appearances, reason or intent, sometimes unintended, sometimes disguised, but we see its purpose of hurting us and turning our world upside down--- rewriting our story in its entirety or in part. It doesn't draw a pretty picture, particularly if you can see it in the heart --- torn, tattered, messed up, beaten, dreary and weary. It made me think ......

🌿

Maybe there is no answer. Maybe one just lives through the experience..... try to respond to it in the best manner possible..... draw strength where strength can be found within or without..... become the change which is eventually going to happen anyway like it or not. But something within, something bigger than yourself, makes you want to try to transform this experience into a treasure - your treasure - that would matter for a very, very long time. For you... for your life. Because, truth is, you owe it to yourself to do just that.

🌿

My friend threw me that question but I think she didn't expect an answer. The answer which, I believe, she wasn't seeking but one which she already knew ------ 

🌿

Bad has its way of making us grow.

🌿⚘🌿⚘🌿

DON'T LET ANYONE DOUSE YOUR FIRE

 I have a friend who (sadly) thinks life is such a mess and nothing is worth anything, at all. Well... she's been through a lot, her emotions bruised with scars to show. She's not easy to get along with, admittedly. But then who would be!? No one can come out of a tough life unaffected and still be in one piece. Nope. That ain't happening. Because it breaks you. Life ..... sometimes can be so mean. 

A broken soul is a lonely one. 

But.....

That doesn't make you the only one. There are other lonely souls out there, too. Yet you'll never know .... neither can you tell. Truth is, we each have a piece of brokenness inside us. Our hearts carry invisible burdens which weigh us down, slow our progress, wearies our soul.  

And yet....

We get up mornings, shake the dust off, take a deep breath, and head off to face the new day with.what we know...and...what we have. 

Everyday. Walang paltos yan. Again and again...and... again. Because that's who we are.... that's how we were created by Someone up there. 

Tough.

Nobody can douse our fire.

Don't let it.

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IS LIFE ONLY ABOUT ONE THING

 A friend once asked me "Is a widow's life a lonely life?" Let me ask you this question: "Is life only about marriage?....or one thing?"

If a person is living a train-track kind of mind, the possibility is high. Like mom would say "You can't put all your eggs in one basket. When you drop it, you'll break them all." Life is good with a mindset of being determined, focused, and other stuff that would take you to your dreams. 

But the rest of life and living will need ---  

a broad and broader understanding of life happening as it happens or not happens to you..adaptability..steady glimmering hope..courage..with undying faith and belief in the Divine. Plus self-love...not egotistical but gentle and kind. In fact, be kinder to...yourself above all. Because your life is lived by you. Not by somebody else nor by other people's standards. No. It's just you. Your successes your mistakes. Your life. You live it.

Be like that magnificent tree and hill in that photo.....standing tall and proud, uniquely amazing....yet still so much part of the greater panorama of things. Fact is, you and everything are by Divine Design.🥰 Appreciate it with a grateful heart ❤ 

Have a blessed day, folks.

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IMAGES RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND

 

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A few days back I was in a dilemma pondering what to paint 🤔 And as I have said, you don't immediately start painting even if the canvas is right infront of you ready and able.😁 Parang katulad ng kasabihang - "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Gusto mo nang simulan pero ayaw sumunod ang kamay mo .. LOLS 😄

Now ... today I finished the painting. A scene which played in my mind for a bit though I wasn't quite sure I'd do. Because....it was just an image running in my mind along with other images scrambling for front page. Gulo noh?!? Haha..

Anyway... as an old saying goes "All's well that ends well." 

It's been a good day.😚☺

I hope yours was, too.

Godbless. 

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LESSONS FROM LIFE

LESSONS FROM LIFE 

I am not what I used to be -- my old self which worried at every nitty-gritty detail of a mess-up, mine or somebody's else's. I don't fret if the house is a mess, at least not anymore. But cleaning up goes on normally as it should. I save not for a special occasion because I've learned that everyday is a special occasion. So then I would buy ice cream, cakes, pretty clothes, shoes, bags and use them for no special reason. It doesn't have to be my birthday to look pretty or be happy. 

Flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, or differences displayed by other people now amuse me rather than annoy because I have understood that we are all different and that being so does not make one person better or less than the other. It just makes us different. People's foibles are now better understood and forgiven, including mine. I draw close to people I like.. and if I don't like someone I simply stay away and forget that person. No point in having someone like that stick around to ruin my parade. I try not to go crazy when plans bomb out or when appointments are missed. Because if and when they do, certainly it must be for some reason. Eventually something much better takes its place. It always does. Better to see it with a positive eye, otherwise it's bound to cause more stress in trying to figure out what happened.

I believe in miracles and blessings which certainly come plenty if one takes pains to find out or see it. I indeed seek for blessings because my mom said I should. You see mom would always tell me that .. "there is always one when you come looking for it... and sometimes even when you aren't looking." -- Blessings though don't always come wrapped in gorgeous ribbons or other fancy trimmings or make a huge dramatic entrance into your life. Nope. Sometimes it's just there beside you or within you making you feel... peace calm serene joy hope strength courage inspiration faith... Something you thought you'd never experience as the rest of your world comes tumbling down or has already.

I am happy where happiness finds me.... and if sorrow should come I'd probably cry too. Oh yes, probably hurt and ache, grieve, be miserable... but I know better now that these things are fleeting and would easily pass just like all of life. Besides things which I have no control over are no longer mine to worry about. Troubles are plenty it's true; nobody's spared of it, but we can choose how to face them. Thus if solutions seem nil, then I leave them at the foot of the Cross for God to handle. He's better at it, you know. So much better. 

Much learned at 75..... with still more learning up ahead.  And know too that sometimes in life you'll get to learn..relearn..unlearn...until wisdom finally gets you. Also...mistakes are okay, they're there for a reason -- as tools for learning. 

I owe much to the big guy upstairs.⛪ Thank you, Dad!!!

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