TRUTH, LIKE ROSES, HAVE THORNS ABOUT THEM

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Remember my dear friend from India.. Mr. Quote Man? Not his real name, of course. He is a longtime friend since my early days in the blog at Indiatimes. That's about a decade ago. We haven't skipped a chance to connect every time we're online, in both highs and in lows, in all those great years of friendship. A treasure, indeed.
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Well, in the past two years or so he somehow made it his mission to pass on to me his favorite quotes the goal of which is to make me write, particularly when I'm down to a 'writer's block'. He knows how it is because he struggles with it, too, being a writer himself.
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Making the selected quote the subject of the day we then bombard each other via email (back-and-forth) with insights, perceptions, interpretations enough to fill a book. A thick one, I should say.
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It's always such fun and a wonderful learning moment every time because he is such a rare specie of open-mindedness, is broadminded to a fault, unbelievably selfless, and is the least concerned with the usual I-Me-My-Mine of life and living. (Hmmm... I remember someone say this before .. "At this age you don't bother about that anymore.")
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Can you believe that!? Yeah, sometimes it does make me think maybe this guy might be from some strange planet in the galactic realm out there.... an alien! A nice alien... so much like some nice earthlings that have crossed my path, too.
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Well, this was another quote he sent to my email.........
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"Truths, like roses, have thorns about them."   -   (Henry Blinn)
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That's right, isn't it?
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Truths are not always welcome and why we shrink or shirk from it with elaborately cooked up excuses.  Motivated by so much an aversion or diversion from what could be apparent challenges to one's preconceived notion or notions.  But all for naught because truth will seek you out. Always. Sooner or later. Know that to be true?

 (I found this lovely quote/poster online and loved it. Again true, right?)

THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ARE........

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I was on the phone with a friend who suddenly appears out of the blue after several years of absence in my friendship world. Been missing this girl for a long time.
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''Been busy with life", she says with a chuckle.
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"Well, I'm pretty sure life has been pretty busy with you, too. You sound happy", I kidded back at her.
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"Well, not a bed or roses I'll tell yah.... but they can throw at me all the bumps, bleeps, and bang but not enough to mess up my world", she replied back with a merry lilt in her voice.
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I believed her.
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You see, my friend (let's call her Jane) is quite unique. She's not like many of us puny little human beings who easily buckle down with every test, challenge, trial, or difficulty. But oh sure problems do assail her...... makes her rage, worry, stress out, and cry. So much the human reaction, right? All of that in the moment it hits her... then... wait a minute... she becomes still. And then the transformation takes place.... followed by...
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"C'mon, let's get ourselves a burger! I'll race you to the car.." And off we fly!
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Yeah I did once thought if she was an alien or something. But I must admit that she's one happy human being.. regardless.
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I only really understood when one sweet day I stumbled on this quote....
. "The happiest people I know are the ones who have learned how to hold everything loosely and have given the worrisome, stress-filled, fearful detail of their lives into God's keeping." --- Charles R. Swindoll
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That's Jane's secret. She connected with her God. But it's not a secret. We all know that, don't we?
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(Once more, thanks to the internet for these wonderful images)

TO YOU ALL........

To my dear friends here in the blog,

a heartfelt MERRY CHRISTMAS!  May the season bring to you bountiful blessings from the heart of God .. way beyond measure -- far more than your kind hearts can hold.  Thank you for the gift of your friendship. 

God bless you and your dear dearest ones now and evermore.

Ellen

LIFE CANNOT BE LIFE WITHOUT PEOPLE IN IT

I was on my way down the hill at the tail-end of my morning walk when this silver-haired gentleman-foreigner heading my way from the opposite direction on seeing me slowed down and greeted me with a huge friendly smile and a question... "How many times do you go round the neighborhood?" I replied "Twice, most times." To this he smiled even more and said.. "Good for you!" And walked past me still wearing his big wide smile..
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Apparently he too was doing his usual morning routine. And so were other Filipino residents of the neighborhood at that early hour. But one thing looks quite clear to me.... Filipinos are shy .. in fact, just too shy to jump on an opportunity to make friends or simply share the good vibes of the moment. I remember Mom said this long ago....... "The art of giving and receiving does not come naturally to many. But it can be learned. Start with loving yourself, life and everything in it."
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Life without people would be similar to one landscape of meadows, mountains, rivers, forests running endlessly beyond the horizon and even farther. Magnificent but somehow incomplete.
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People, on the other hand, bring into life those thousand-and-one things which make it come pulsatingly alive. Challenges... perceptions... insights.... excitement... adventure... joy and happiness... creativity... productivity... emotional diversity... development... growth, etc. Add to the same pot the worrisome and wearying disputes... arguments... sorrows... questions... destruction.... conflicts... negativity... and other things more which make you want to bang your head on the wall. These things happen between man and man interacting and colliding in a manner they alone best know how.
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Life cannot be life without people in it.
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Wishing for you and your family God's blessings beyond measure.

THE FRIENDS LIST

Something to think about this morning - - -

The Friends List in Facebook

A good friend is trimming down her list for reasons of her own and, if you think hard about those reasons, it does make a lot of sense. At least she is being honest and true to herself. It is hard to carry on with something quite unclear or shall we state it bluntly which in truth has become a one-way street and not a two-way avenue as originally meant to be on this site or any other similar sites.

There are mixed responses to the Friends List with each his or her own view or reason for having it or not having it.... and boy! to many here all of the 600 to 1000 and even more. I have a good number in my box and now brought down to just about a few and I believe it will go down some more as the need arises or as life dictates it. Can you imagine hanging on to all of your 1000-and-still counting!? The box will explode and so will you as you try to keep tabs with each one on that list! All friendships in fb begin from 'Add friend to...'. From that you move on to forever friends -- sometimes friends -- forgotten friends -- Here-Today-Gone-Tomorrow friends. The choice, by the way, is all up to you. But it always takes two to tango, as in most things in life are.

Good friends and friendships are treasures, one of many that we have and enjoy in life. But even on this turf there are also rules and expectations which help keep it alive and vibrant. One and essential is .. active communication. That by itself alone nurtures friendships of any kind, near or far. In the absence of it, the friendship withers away and eventually dies. But as we all know life is a difficult taskmaster ... it imposes its mind on us puny humans. It gets what it wants. We simply follow, even if we think we are doing what we want. So often we find ourselves taken into different directions, goals, settings and experiences, like it or not. So that is life.

The whole point of this story is ....  keep close friends close if possible and those who have to be far from you although not always or necessarily by choice ---  set them free, let them continue with their journey to their own respective destinies or as life dictates to them. You will know when they're gone... when you no longer have the usual communication with them (months or years of prolonged silence or inactivity is an indication). I mean do not hold them back unnecessarily by keeping them on your friends list indefinitely that they would become quite uncomfortable knowing that they have neglected in some measure the friendship without notice. And as for you who have been trimmed off someone's Friend List, don't feel so bad instead be relieved and grateful because you have been saved from being honest about that one certain omission. Yes, I know, honesty is not always easy in some cases. But we're not children here playing with this toy. We are mature adults being responsible with our toys.

Set them free .. from your Friends List. Let's be open-minded about this. Doing that does not have to mean that the ties are being severed (except for some necessary odd cases). It only means that --- you understand and that the friendship is still kept in the heart where true friendships truly reside. And when one day he or she will return and reconnects with you... welcome it and rejoice. Even if that person would leave again, it's still okay. Then you would know that this friendship stood strong through the test of time, Friends List or no Friends List. Isn't that what true friendship is all about?

Life is better lived being true to yourself.
The same thing goes in friendships.
Blessings, everyone.

SHARED THOUGHTS - SHARED HUMANITY

Who cares to listen to another's tale of woes and more woes?! Because I have learned that the only tales of woe which we are truly interested in are our own. So I'm not telling mine. LOLS :-)  Sufficient to say that it was a miserable two weeks of being unwell and finally recovery that it still leaves me reeling from it all today. Yet I am going to admit that the week that passed was indeed such a welcome respite which I realize now was one that I needed.

But I'm hellbent on shaking the accumulated cobwebs away and get the Muses back into the writing groove again. Thoughts are wrestling and scrambling to get down into print that I can't decide now which should come first. Actually, all are worthy for the writing. Whenever or every time an experience or an event or an encounter comes into play and gets 'processed' in the mind the end-result that comes out is always worthy. Insights - perceptions  - views - wisdom are born this way. And that is good.

I write about such things knowing full well that it will pull on a familiar string or strings in the hearts of many. After all in spite of our valid differences we are still all basically the same. But what interests me most is your individual authentic original version of your self. We may be looking at the same things, but I would like to know your own thoughts about it. The external trappings of the self serve only to distract attention away from what truly matters. That which lies within is far more essential -- in the core of your being is who you truly are. It's not the gift-wrapping but the gift that brings the sparkle to one's eyes.

Here on my blog page I welcome with pleasure your sharing of your thoughts. Unleash the power of your mind. Because you are far more than you give yourself credit for. That, by the way, interests me hugely. And so with everybody else I believe.  :-)

Blessings to you and your families.

OF FRIENDS, FRIENDSHIPS AND LIFE

My best friends and I got together for lunch like we always do each month. Oh it's the usual updates and chit-chat ladies do when they come together... family, children, home, and work. Well, one still holds on to a 9-5 job. Sez she's not ready for retirement yet.. at least not for another year or two. Anyway we talk about anything and everything.. people, things, events, the world and life.

Marie, that's not her real name, is the internet freak.. blogs, emails, chats, and does her research work online too. She's got about 300 people on her network list. How she connects with all 300 makes me wonder. But this time she was complaining because some on her friends list have left without even saying bye. They just disappeared. And she's beginning to wonder if it's her fault or something. Then all eyes were suddenly on me. "What??" I said. Gina spoke "Well, you're the one with more history with your blog.." "And so?" I countered. But they looked at me even more intensely. You know when the ladies do that, you just got to give in or eat your chocolate mousse elsewhere.

"Okay. Just because you have 300 or more people on your friends list does not necessarily mean that everybody's your friend... if friends like you and me is what you mean. But it does mean that 300 people like what you're doing with your online page.... your profile, photos, stuff you write. And the interaction that follows it becomes such a joy.

But as much as you may want to keep them forever, you can't. Life won't let you. Because in the same strange ways that life brings people or strangers together... it also can take them apart. Most times not through their own fault or liking but rather because life has other things in store for them.

Life and living is constant movement, motion, change, and journey sparing no one. We might like to be at that one place and time forever as we savor its moment in our lives, but that's not what it's all about. Time moves on and we must move on along with it. Families grow, friendships transform, people and fortunes change, priorities continually shifting, babies are born - old people die, everything happens when it happens.

So the 300 on your friends list will continually be shifting and moving... some towards you and then some away from you. What a wise man once said, in essence it went this way, that....

People come into your life in many different ways....

-- some will come to you, stay for awhile, and leave
-- others will come perhaps stay longer than long
-- then several will simply be passing through
-- and then again several will come, leave, and never return

True, isn't it? Don't despair, It's not about you. They have their reasons. Trust life to hand it out to them. It's the same old story told repeatedly from one person to another, online or in real time. But you know what, nothing can quite compare with it.... people when they come into your life enrich your life. Never mind if it's just for awhile. Enjoy and cherish it while it lasts. It's still a precious gift and is there for a definite reason -- to help you become the person you were meant to be. It often works both ways ... that too is by God's design."

"Okay, anymore questions, ladies??" as I looked at their intent faces poised round the table.

"Yeah. How bout a toast to friends and friendships!!" says Marie. Happily in the midst of laughter coffee cups came together unanimously for the rousing toast. By the way, the chocolate mousse was simply divine!!

'YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME' - from Disney's 'Toy Story'

'I value a friend who for me finds time on his calendar;
but I cherish a friend who does not consult his calendar' - Robert Bault

INFO FOR MY BLOG FRIENDS

Hi guys!

Do you know where I am? Am here in a net cafe. :-) Why? Because the communication and power lines in my neighborhood are out of commission at this time. So for the past three days I did nothing but think of you fellas, listen to music, do my morning walks with my daughter, play with my dogs and cat, and do some more sketches. :-) But I sorely miss meeting you all in the blog.

Well, am hoping that the repair guys will fix the problems very soon or tomorrow (Wish!) so that I can go back to posting again. Fact is, I have already a couple of new pieces for posting. And maybe will be adding more until things are back to normal again.

By the way, I love your warm and lovely messages in my previous post. Gosh, it feels good to know that you're there. As I've always said.. a blog comes alive when people come visiting it. And that's what you do to my blog .... it pulsates with life with your presence. You simple light it up, fellas. Thank you very much.

Got to go now. My online time is up. Geeezz, I thought I'd never go back to a net cafe again when I had the internet service installed at home. Oh well, never say never. Lols! :-)

Take care, everybody! Hope to see you soon.
Now don't you stop sending me your messages. Looking forward to more. Lols!
May God bless you and your family.

Ellen :-)

P.S.

Will be replying to your messages in the previous post on my next visit to this net cafe and that'll be soon. Take care all. Bye for a bit!

WHAT LESSONS HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM LIFE?

So many lessons to learn from life through the years. Don't we all know it! So many that I lack fingers to count them with Lols! I have put down just five (there's more of course) here which had great impact on my life at those times it appeared. Experiences and lessons I will never ever forget.

Knowing how much the same we each are to one another -- basically running through the same tapestry of life experiences -- wherever you are in the world, whatever you do in life... would you perhaps be interested to share your own life lessons here in the blog with me? There will be so much you can share, I am sure, and I can learn from you too. Life is too short to learn everything there is to learn... and our lives just one to get them all in. So how about it? I'll be waiting.

Here's my list:
- Life doesn’t throw you punches if it doesn’t know you can’t take them
- Freedom in everything means accountability and responsibility too
- It is okay to be yourself but it is absolutely not okay to behave insensitively of others
- Where all else may fail, faith and hope gets you trying one more time
- Always there will be strength you thought wasn’t there
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Write your life lessons in the Comment Box. Then I will post it here in this blog. You can opt to write one, three, or even more. Whatever you feel like doing. :-) I'll be looking forward to your nuggets of wisdom. See yah!!

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Comment

Vyshu said...

Hello Ellen,

Thanks for this wonderful post and the opportunity to share my thoughts..!

#Learn from the mistakes of yours and others too. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself
#In the practice of tolerance, My enemy is my best teacher
#Sticking to the truth is the best way.
When we know our strengths and accept our weaknesses, our confidence is reliable.striking a fine balance between two extremes is the key
#The cause of all joy and distress is our mind. If we can keep our mind & desires in control, it will become a mere observer of things. As an observer, the mind has no direct involvement and hence does not worry about the events. Then, we feel tranquil and have a smooth life. Just as a drop of water on a lotus leaf does not mingle with it, sorrow does not affect us.
#Joy of Giving and Healthy life style..

These are my greatest lessons for now..:) Would love to share more Ellen
Have a nice Day !
Cheers

Friday, August 21, 2009

AmitMakwana said...

yeah...
i learned a lot from your lessons ELLEN...
mine are:

--when you fail, only way left for you is to fight back with double will power...
--more you believe in yourself more you succeed...
--when you are true to your self and open to the world, you feel lighter and can move ahead faster and enjoy your journey to success...
--when you always be yourself, you get the right feedback from others that can help you improvise...
--you need to learn every day from everyone...
--keep your senses alive and alert, opportunities are bound to come your way...
--nobody can keep you away from your dreams and desires... go for it...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Jack said...

Ellen,

Learning is a never ending process. And true it is difficult to list out all you learn. Life teaches you new things all the time. I agree with Vyshu learn from yours as well as other's mistakes so as not to repeat them.

Take care

Friday, August 21, 2009

pearl said...

Ellen, you have said very well and precisely i would not be able to add more, apart from this one thing that during such tough situation only 'silence' works and the faith that God above is there to wade us out of the troubled waters is wat really works!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Pramoda Meduri said...

--> Working with mind may not make everything possible, but working with heart can do it always.
--> Let us take every breath just for our motherland, and ensure that our work will add value to her legacy.
--> Winning is important, but it is not everything.
--> Belief is the one thing that would stabilize your emotions, if not, you are not believing it.
--> To understand a person what he is exactly, never just look at how he behaves with u, but u try to gather how he behaves with others as well.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

indrablog said...

Mine are here (some are very cliched):

--It's good to be nice but it helps to let others know that nicety depends on reciprocation.
--A risk mayn't always work but still it's improtant to take sometimes.
--Knowledge is strength.
--You should forgive but not forget.
--It helps to know what you can and what you can't.

Monday, August 24, 2009

A GOOD FRIEND IS A GIFT FROM GOD

Oh, don't we all get to meet so many different people in this life journey. I have been so lucky to have met and found good people and formed lasting friendships with them. It can never be disputed that wonderful friendships bring wonderful joys and precious memories to last a lifetime.

And yet on the other hand, one does get some rotten apples mixed in there somewhere in the same social basket. oh yes! admittedly a few have managed to make life miserable for me at some points --- behaved in a manner which caused unnecessary pain, hurt. 'Have no idea if they felt any remorse for their behavior then or if they were ever aware if at all. But they taught me something about bad people in our midst. The rule is stay far away - clear far away from them. They can break your heart.

When I was seriously contemplating possible options of crushing the 'enemy' (lols).... I realized that it wasn't the right approach. Of course I couldn’t let the few rotten ones ruin the rest of the bunch -- the good apples in my basket. And neither have them ruin or snuff-out my enjoyment of a basket full of so much good. Good friends and friendships are a rarity, as everybody knows, and certainly are lovely treasures worthy of keeping. I meant to keep my treasures.

So remembering mom's words -- 'sift through the grains to get to the best', I wrote them off my life with these final words ... "I'm done with you"... turned my back and walked away.

We should choose our friends. But because we do get both good and bad apples in the same basket ... resolve to leave those who you discover cannot measure up. And treasure wonderful people who give genuine meaning - honor - and value to the word 'friend' and 'friendship'. Appreciate and celebrate good people and friends. They are part of life’s treasures and blessings.

A good friend is a gift from God.

LIVING IN PEACE - Our pets MIKO the cat and MAXIE the dog

Yes, Miko and Maxie live together in peace and great friendship. Sometimes Miko thinks he's a dog and Maxie thinks she's a cat -- a case of confused identity, we guess :-) But it's adorable to see them smash to smithereens those age-old tales of cats and dogs as 'mortal enemies'.

That puts us humans to shame. We pride ourselves in being intelligent and smart -- exquisite creatures of God but we can't even learn to live in peace with each other. Instead we feverishly build create invent or put up huge walls - barriers - boundaries just to keep other people at bay. We don't want to touch them... nor do we want to be touched by them. We suspect them, anything, everything --- cultures, religion, policies. education, size, shape, color, habits, intentions, standards, motivations, and everything else we could think of under the sun.

We can't even talk straight or honestly express our true sentiments over important issues -- without being subjected to doubts or suspicions or judgments. We don't even know how to engage in friendly disagreement. Impossible? Nah, it's possible if only we want to.

Don't you think it's wearying putting up numerous walls, visible or invisible, and fighting fiercely to keep them there?

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.......

(We were at the grave of her dad paying our respects last Sunday when this picture was taken by my youngest daughter, Malen -- she aimed her cellphone upwards focusing on a tree silhouetted against the cloudy sky blocking out the sun. How eloquently don't you think does it speak of my heart - our hearts - at this low point in our lives.)

I have been through a lot in life particular this past few weeks wherein I was battered and bruised by anxiety, frustration, discouragement, fear, doubt, failed expectations, unhappiness, loneliness, grief, and sorrow.... name it and I've been through it. Even my faith went diving to the lowest ebb I've never felt before.

I can't hold back time nor tell it to stay at that point I felt so much happiness. Even if I badgered or pushed or bribed or screamed my head off telling it to STOP! STAND STILL! FREEZE! PLEASE!!! It won't, not for me or for anyone like me. Time is cruel and is not moved by tears grief or sorrow. It will do what it does, always what it does so well... and that is -- it moves on, with or without us.

But all that I now look back to with fresh understanding courage and strength. And perhaps even much more wiser as my faith also has found itself renewed. God may have led me through the deep dark valley but He also led me out to the sun and new life. For all that and even more I am so grateful to Him ---a loving God who keeps His promises and answers prayer. To Him who loves truly fully and so well.

If there is something, aside from my family, which helped buoy up my flagging spirit.... it is wonderful friends and beautiful friendships. Nothing can ever equal these in any terms or currency or compliment or riches... NOTHING. They are in a class all of their own.. incomparable and worthy.

Allow me to mention names here who came to my blogs in o3 and blogspot and too left warm messages in orkut. But I will beg your pardon if I have missed some names. It is not intentional. But I know and you know too that the heart is so much better in remembering wonderful people than the mind ever is . So I say with confidence that you ALL are remembered here where it matters most --- in the heart.

Here they are not in any particular order......

sumit, jitu, divya, keerthi, srividya, LP53, niceguy, samyukta, regina, pearl, justcurious, phoenix, indrasish, kamesh, amit, shrawan, amita, lust4life, zephyr, chakoli, thisisme, mini, ramya, sneha, sensitivesmile, virtualscorpio, khalid, joel, and raj.

I say... You are all so wonderful! How lucky and privileged I am to have your friendships, for having you in my life. Thank you so much! I pray that God bless you with tons and tons of blessings for your peace, joy, happiness, good health, success, and prosperity all through your lives.

Love you all!
Ellen


There's more to tell on the subject of life lessons... but let's have it in another post. See you there soon.