SHARED THOUGHTS - SHARED HUMANITY

Who cares to listen to another's tale of woes and more woes?! Because I have learned that the only tales of woe which we are truly interested in are our own. So I'm not telling mine. LOLS :-)  Sufficient to say that it was a miserable two weeks of being unwell and finally recovery that it still leaves me reeling from it all today. Yet I am going to admit that the week that passed was indeed such a welcome respite which I realize now was one that I needed.

But I'm hellbent on shaking the accumulated cobwebs away and get the Muses back into the writing groove again. Thoughts are wrestling and scrambling to get down into print that I can't decide now which should come first. Actually, all are worthy for the writing. Whenever or every time an experience or an event or an encounter comes into play and gets 'processed' in the mind the end-result that comes out is always worthy. Insights - perceptions  - views - wisdom are born this way. And that is good.

I write about such things knowing full well that it will pull on a familiar string or strings in the hearts of many. After all in spite of our valid differences we are still all basically the same. But what interests me most is your individual authentic original version of your self. We may be looking at the same things, but I would like to know your own thoughts about it. The external trappings of the self serve only to distract attention away from what truly matters. That which lies within is far more essential -- in the core of your being is who you truly are. It's not the gift-wrapping but the gift that brings the sparkle to one's eyes.

Here on my blog page I welcome with pleasure your sharing of your thoughts. Unleash the power of your mind. Because you are far more than you give yourself credit for. That, by the way, interests me hugely. And so with everybody else I believe.  :-)

Blessings to you and your families.

WALKING THROUGH MY TEARS WITH MY BEST FRIEND

This is a good piece; says it all. There are many ways to unburden ourselves of our fears or demons so to speak. One as mentioned here is to share with a close friend. And I agree. Also, there is private journal writing... and too Prayer. I resort to all three... with attention to the right place, time, person, and the weight of concern or issue at hand.

I have my close friends here, Lody particularly who knows all my cares and woes, joys and happiness. I appreciate her for standing by me through it all. As I do the same for her.

Friends I hold so dear to me. Every friendship through the years is valued and treasured. Truly they are my gold. But as life always would, some of them have gone and those who have remained are called to other directions in life thus severing the ties thru no fault of anyone. New ones have replaced them, true. But I do know that people come and go in our lives - not one meant to stay forever. Of such is life. Sadly.

So on most occasions I would rather pour out my heart in prayer. God is always there, will never leave me, and can work miracles which no human hands can do. In prayer, I find my peace... my burdens become light... my tears and fears washed away with His hand. Prayer is my help -- God my bestest friend. :-)
----------------------------------
To quote:

Plunging Into The Deep
Life Can Be Scary

Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who enjoy unexpected thrills, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us. At these moments, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all get scared.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet. We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is sick, or we may be scared of never finding someone special to spend our life with. We may be scared to start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid.

It may be comforting to know that everyone gets scared, and it is perfectly OK. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better. And while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times. Giving ourselves permission to be scared lets us move through our fears so we can let it go. It also makes it alright to share our fears with others. Sharing our apprehensions with other people can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions. Sharing our fears also can lighten our burden because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves. Remember that you are not alone.

----------------------
NOTE:
This was forwarded to me in email by a good friend today. Its author unknown. Have highlighted my favorite lines.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS

Still – quiet – serene – calm…..just the right place to be to escape the hustle-and-bustle of the city. I took a long sweeping look from the left to the right taking in the walls and the dome over my head. It literally took my breath away – stained-glass windows – its colors heightened by the glow of sunset. Built atop a mountain this cathedral stands proudly in its old world charm attracting visitors from as far as the outskirts of the city -- a handsome structure which has stood the passing of time and inside its walls nothing less in beauty. The main altar stretched out to the dome ceiling with a masterpiece of art etched on its stained-glass wall. My gaze followed the intricate lines from the floor to the top and down again. Here a little to the side stood a long-legged candle-holder - its flame glistening softly from a candle held by a glass holder (yes, in stained-glass too) - a small unobtrusive presence in the midst of such towering magnificence.

I was made speechless in the moment and in the presence of such exquisite beauty. Yet as all good things must come to an end, like coming to the end of a good show, a gentle curtain of extinguishing glow fell into the room. The sun was disappearing in the far horizon. Light was snuffed out in all of the glass walls in a falling curtain of darkness except for one solitary lighted candle holder. Surprised I gasped in awe amazed at the sight of the beautiful play of light and colors from a small stained-glass candle holder -- unremarkable just a few minutes ago but now a burst of brilliance unmatched by all the glass on the walls of the cathedral!

People – they come in different sizes, shapes, colors, temperaments, attitudes, in myriad colors of character and eccentricity, and personal histories. They touch our lives in many different ways when they cross paths with us. They sparkle and shine as life carries them through the many stations in their journey. Each come to interplay with various experiences which lead to a colorful display of emotions, wit, brilliance, expression, opinion, insight, belief, perception -- and on the opposite end bias, prejudice preconception, presumption, and more, These make up the whole person with whom we interconnect with day by day. Beautiful, isn’t it? But true beauty ---- where does it lie??

When fortunes turn sour, when failure looms high above you, when the small irritations of the day gnaw at your calm and composure, when relationships disappoint, when dreams shatter, when debts soar, when spouses betray trust, when your own stable world is unhinged at the seams without warning, and when you are there tittering on the edge of indecision – when all of these dark forces threaten to snuff out the light and brilliance of your day and of yourself, what do you do?

My mom summed it all up with how she lived her life. It was a life strewn with all conceivable trouble and distress. And looking back now I wonder just how God can sometimes be so unfair heaping up all the burdens on the shoulders of this small fragile gentle woman. Well, did she cry? Complain? Get mad? Get gloomy and depressed or bitter and resentful? Yes, all of that and yet everything too were left at His feet in prayer. Then she carried on with her life with what she had. She rose with every fall, trudged on doggedly with courage and strength and remarkable faith renewed each time, I wondered how. Through my child’s eyes I watched her drag her weary feet through the hills and valleys of a sparse life as she took on the role of raising a family. I saw her in my young child’s eye astoundingly as the most beautiful woman in the world. She still is even long after she has gone. But I see better now and understand the wisdom of God’s outstanding work.

This is true beauty – the beauty of the soul - beauty which shines even more brilliantly even when darkness sets in. True beauty as revealed only when its light is from within. Indeed.


“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in; their true beauty is revealed only if their light is from within.” ----- (Elizabeth Kubler Ross)

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

I heard this exchange from a young couple sitting a table away at my favorite coffee bar at the mall. They appeared to be arguing bout something.

Husband says ‘You don’t get my point’.

Wife retorts ‘You’re not listening to what I’m trying to tell you, this is how it should be done’.

This time the temptation is great to write about marriage and couples and how the twain never meets ever -- Except for some. But we won’t go there because somebody else somewhere is better at it than me.

When a person says ‘you don’t get my point’ – it’s true. And when the other replies that ‘you don’t see what I’m trying to tell you’ --- that too is true. Both are so much the same and yet so much different too. Maybe that would be considered weird or foolish. But fact is, both are simply stating the same simple fact and truth only from two opposing views.

You see the world according to you. I see it according to me. We come from different backgrounds, upbringing, experience, and learning. We separately perceive the world according to how we each understand it in the way we each have learned or been taught to do. You have formed your own perception, insight and opinion on most anything referring to people, theories, events, life, and living. Consequently you judge, censure, evaluate, condemn, appraise from your own individual standpoint.

So do I. I am everything that you are, been there in the travel from nothingness to something, was shaped and molded by my own growing and learning which has formed the character, personality, and attitude you perceive in me now. In our differences we still are basically the same. And that is true.

Yet we need not argue or fight over who is right or wrong, better or worse, smarter or stupid, brilliant or foolish. What is correct is when we can listen to each other in spite of our differing opinions. What is right is when we can look at each other with true understanding and respect. What is beautiful is when we can agree to disagree and be happy with that. And that brings us to a genuine unadulterated authentic communication.

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." -- Tony Robbins

OUR MISTAKES DO NOT DEFINE US

Scared of fouling up, making a mistake, bungling up, and committing bloopers and blunders? Are you? But hey who isn’t. Any normal regular average guy and gal hate to make mistakes. “It’s embarrassing” – “OMG What a shame” – “I could go invisible right now” – “Oh brother, did I do that?” – “I feel like disappearing into the wall”…. Does that sound all too familiar to you?

Well, mistakes take all forms shapes and kinds -- there are small mistakes and big mistakes - And petty slip-ups and life changing oversights. What does it do really? Well, it can ruin a person’s life or make him an overnight celebrity (which isn’t a good reason to be famous for). Some may try to repair, redo, alter, camouflage, ignore, rationalize, overlook, or even find somebody who would (with a little persuasion) take the fall (politicians do that). And so all the frantic effort to save face, space, and grace going to all extent to achieve just that.

But really what else can one do?

Oh there is one and it’s not a popular thing to do. I don’t see many people do it. In fact, in consensus it seems to make them feel far worse than the boo-boo itself. Because it exposes their mortality, frailty, ignorance, imperfection – something nobody is comfortable with nor ready to admit.

I remember as a teenager (and that’s centuries ago) I would always be at loggerheads with my kid brother. So much that when a boo-boo occurs, his or mine (it didn’t matter), I would easily point the finger at him with “He did it!” He did that to me too, much to the consternation of our mom. So one day when we fouled up something in the kitchen, and as two separate fingers pointed at one another, Mom with eyes blazing said …. “Now see here, you two, own up to your mistake or you’ll be washing dishes for a month!”

‘Own up to your mistake’ – have always remembered that.

So that’s the first step and easily the rest will follow. It’s no crime to admit you’ve been wrong. There are zillions of people out there who have been wrong too. But you can make the big difference by owning up to your mistake and from there move on to better things, to healing wounded hearts and souls, to get your self-esteem back, to pick yourself up and say ‘Okay, I’ve learned my lesson’ and become a wiser and smarter person than you were before.

Our mistakes do not define us; it’s what we do afterwards that does.

MY NEIGHBORHOOD LIFE PEOPLE AND ME

My neighborhood is an average one and small. This is a subdivision settled at the foot by the side of a mountain range in my city that nestles atop it - Antipolo. Here, where I have made my home, one sees about dozens of modest houses sitting side by side and housing families within carrying on with the regular routines of each day. A paved road ragged in some areas winds round the neighborhood up hill and down and leads out to the main gate passing the guardhouse where a sentry stands watch day and night. And mingled with the houses are trees lush and green dotting the place everywhere you look. Adding to the green landscape are mini gardens fronting almost every home lining almost every street. If not a garden, in lieu would be potted plants neatly set in a row. Nice and green.

I love this place. And I wish that life and people were so much the same – serene, calm, and peaceful. But it isn’t. Life as we know it is an interesting tapestry of ecstatic moments, surprises, near mishaps, misfortunes, fragmented dreams, and challenges. And people --- are just as diverse as that fascinating mix we call life.

So I like studying people. There is so much I can learn from watching them. They teach me things and stuff I would have not given any thought to at all; they inspire me to be better than I could ever be; they show me how to understand my own weaknesses and strengths by looking at theirs; they tell me what hope is by their show of courage and faith through trials; they increase my knowledge and wisdom by their own display of wit and intelligence; they remind me to laugh by their humor and delight over mundane things; and too understand my own foolishness by watching them stumble with theirs. When I see them in their human form, the complete package of mind, body and soul God so designed --- I see me, myself, and mine. And I begin to understand that we are each at best both teachers and students to one another.

NURTURE LIFE - NOT HURT OR DESTROY IT

An early morning walk does wonders to one's soul --- if you let it. This one morning cool and crisp brought me to usual paths and neighborhood. A familiar figure caught my attention as I walked passed by. ----

- A middle-aged housewife watering her small modest garden … Such a lovely garden kept lush and green, flowers in bloom in every nook and cranny of the small lot all cared for by her nurturing hand. She looked happy, content, serene, at peace in and with her little corner of the world. I am sure that the plant kingdom feel that way too. But who wouldn't be when touched by gentle caring nurturing hands?

Come to think of it, isn’t that quite so much what a human being needs– this kind of nurturing of body, mind, and soul?

A human being can’t always cope fully alone by himself in this world of continuing change and challenge. Can you imagine just how and what a well-meaning word of encouragement, hope, faith, care, inspiration, stimulation, motivation can do to another person weak in his own resources, power, and strength? It can take so little to create miracles. Believe this. The power is in you to do just that.

People need nurturing too and other things besides– homes, family, children, old folks, friends, relationships, ambition and dreams, business, projects, organizations, companies, towns, countries, pets, environment, etc and etc. Life and all that it affects undoubtedly need nurturing and constant care no matter what.

How can there be continuity in our lives if everything is allowed to wither away and die alone all by itself? Continuity or life is sealed with a huge hunk of nurturing. And I'll say it again --- the power is in you, me, us --- to do just that.

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE SIMPLE AND TRUE

There was this party sometime back but which memory cut back to my mind when I chanced upon this quote…..

"A person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in BEING, not in doing, not in having." -Alice Mary Hilton

The other guests at my table were all strangers to me. Apparently they were a 'group'. So I was the stranger. I would have preferred sitting with my buddies three tables away but I came late and this was the only available seat in the room. My buddies were motioning me to move over to their table but I motioned back that I was just fine where I was. That was a lie of course. Anyway I didn’t want to call attention away from the proceedings up front (which was just a table away from me) – the presentation of the 18 roses. Yeah, you guessed it right – a debut. Further I felt that it was the polite thing to do to my fellow table mates (not that they would mind if I did).

Anyway although I was following the trail of speeches onstage, my ears were actually turned in like radar to the conversation going on around me at the table. Eavesdropping? Nah, they spoke in loud voices maybe to drown out the noise caused by the merriment …thus were much in hearing distance to most tables near us. One can’t help but hear what was being said.

So then in-between the long boring speeches and the ear-splitting music I gathered snatches of their conversation…

‘Hey look at that, they’ve invited Mr._____. Did you know that he owns two sugar plantations in Bacolod?’

‘I hear that his wife makes hefty donations to local charities. She’s with an MBA, speaks French, and travels to Paris every year.’

‘Oh, I see Gen. _____ is here too. He’s very close to the big guy at the top. Not smart to cross swords with him.’

……..

I could tell you the rest of it but everything seemed just a repetition of what was said by the first person with just a bit more of embellishments.

So what’s the big fuss bout people holding big positions, is acquainted with prominent personalities in social circles, holds a huge bank account not in just one but several banks, makes frequent trips out of the country for shopping sprees…. What are these but simply icing on the cake. I don’t think that those things will make a dent for the perfect gauge of a person’s true worth. Accoutrement, trimmings, frills – these simply work or serve to make the image more attractive, enticing, alluring, beguiling, fascinating, intriguing to the onlooker… and sometimes will mask the real person within, good or bad. Just like icing is to the cake.

I love cakes but even if the icing is so temptingly delicious and attractive I would make serious effort in trimming it off my piece of cake. The real test of a cake is in the cake itself and not in the icing.

It’s the same thing when I meet people… I am not easily impressed by what they have or do although I do recognize and appreciate authentic good deeds. Mom could always cut through that flimsy curtain of appearances. It is quite easy to put up appearances to suit some need or hidden agenda. In like manner one cannot conceal true intent no matter how much one tries. It simply slips through in some unguarded moment when one thinks nobody is looking. Well, frankly one can easily separate genuineness from show. Just trim off the frills ---then you’ll see the real person inside.

The essence of a person lies in his being... who you are in the core of your heart is truly what you are regardless of your titles or millions or what you do with it.

I want my cake simple and people authentically honest and real. The best things in life are just that – simple and true.