WE ARE ALL SO MUCH THE SAME --- AND SO MUCH DIFFERENT TOO

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This early morning I was sweeping the patio of last night's rain which flooded the tiled floor about an inch high. Not much, I know, so not much effort either in performing the task.
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Almost done with the whole thing when came loud chatter floating into my direction from the street outside. Three middle-aged ladies were engaged in conversation in such high-pitched voices that easily anyone could hear what they were talking about. As they passed my front of the street I could catch snippets of their chat...... but I wouldn't put them down here as it would be very unfair to hear only one side of the story.
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Gossip. Bashing. Or whatever other name it's called is never fair..... is unkind..... is opinionated (To my young readers, that means --- 'of fixed views').
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No two persons are alike..... nor do they travel the same life road..... nor do they have the same life story. Each one is unique.... different.... an individual. Whatever he (or she) goes through in his own journey is tailored fit for him alone. His experiences, observations, perceptions, insights, opinions, challenges, or drama are all his. Love, laughter, tears, fear, embarrassment, confusion, disappointment, anger, bewilderment, doubt, joy, misery, sorrow, excitement, wonder, challenges...... the whole range of life and living are all lived in his own special individual character and nature. His own true form or template.
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It would be unfair to gauge his life through our own set of eyes, mind, and heart. Like my mom used to say........ "I am not her; she is not me."   Let that person be who he was or is meant to be. He will have his own set of mistakes, blenders, and lessons to learn. He will do it in his own pace and time and reason.   

The thing is every person is growing as he should preset by Someone above. Sure, he is going to fumble and his mistakes may be quite irritating to us -- we may fuss over his mistakes, fume at his imperfections, curse his stupidity. Sometimes it ruins the day for us. But heyy, we fumble too and our own blunders may sometimes impact the people around us the wrong way. So let's try to be kinder to their imperfections as we also hope that others may be kinder to our own. It's the same road we're taking.

As someone once said.....  'We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.'  Besides we have no idea what people are dealing with in their personal lives.
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I guess what mom was trying to tell me was.....
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Let's try to be more gentle with one another. Be kinder. Be understanding and compassionate. Be aware that we all are, separately or collectively, living our own lives and writing our own life stories.
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That makes us all the same .... and that makes us all different, too. By God's design.
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God bless you.

CREATED TO BE ONE OF A KIND

The person sitting across me on the train was a young girl probably in her twenties, slim and petite, with long black hair, chinky eyes, asian nose, thin lips, and pale white skin. Nothing extraordinary in her dressing as I see it duplicated in every young girl or boy anywhere out on the streets.... the casual tee-n-denims and a backpack loosely carried on one shoulder. But she is different.

Because this person I see is so much more than her physical attributes. Her preferences in life, people, food, fears and stuff would probably cause a raised eyebrow. Too how much more would it surprise me if I learned about the insights, perspective, observations and impressions she holds on the bigger world outside. What about family, education, relationships, hopes and dreams? What about her capacity for pain and learning, joy and love, patience and understanding? How much can she hold or give from the heart? What does she do when life gets tough or tougher? Is she one to break into a smile for the slightest reason?

I look around the train and see more faces. Maybe having similar tastes in clothes, maybe liking spaghetti like I do, have parents, families, children, or working at jobs from 9 to 5.. or maybe unemployed like thousands more in the big city... and other teeny-weeny identical things life throws at people at one time. But that's as far as similarities go.

She's different and there's no one else like her inside the train nor out there in the world. And so are we. We are different. Because we were created to be each one of a kind. Uniquely individual. And that makes us so very special. So very specially different. :-)

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

I heard this exchange from a young couple sitting a table away at my favorite coffee bar at the mall. They appeared to be arguing bout something.

Husband says ‘You don’t get my point’.

Wife retorts ‘You’re not listening to what I’m trying to tell you, this is how it should be done’.

This time the temptation is great to write about marriage and couples and how the twain never meets ever -- Except for some. But we won’t go there because somebody else somewhere is better at it than me.

When a person says ‘you don’t get my point’ – it’s true. And when the other replies that ‘you don’t see what I’m trying to tell you’ --- that too is true. Both are so much the same and yet so much different too. Maybe that would be considered weird or foolish. But fact is, both are simply stating the same simple fact and truth only from two opposing views.

You see the world according to you. I see it according to me. We come from different backgrounds, upbringing, experience, and learning. We separately perceive the world according to how we each understand it in the way we each have learned or been taught to do. You have formed your own perception, insight and opinion on most anything referring to people, theories, events, life, and living. Consequently you judge, censure, evaluate, condemn, appraise from your own individual standpoint.

So do I. I am everything that you are, been there in the travel from nothingness to something, was shaped and molded by my own growing and learning which has formed the character, personality, and attitude you perceive in me now. In our differences we still are basically the same. And that is true.

Yet we need not argue or fight over who is right or wrong, better or worse, smarter or stupid, brilliant or foolish. What is correct is when we can listen to each other in spite of our differing opinions. What is right is when we can look at each other with true understanding and respect. What is beautiful is when we can agree to disagree and be happy with that. And that brings us to a genuine unadulterated authentic communication.

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." -- Tony Robbins

WE'RE NEVER ALWAYS THE SAME PERSON REALLY

Meeting up with my close friends is a joy and such a bag of significance. The hours spent with them will end up revealing something odd or new but which never fail to tweak my interest. It amazes me no end to see a ‘different’ person coming to the lunch table every time and sharing her world with the rest of us. At one time I will be seeing starry eyes, deep smiles etched on sunny faces, or an amusing bounce in their gait. Then on the next get-together everything is replaced by furrowed brows or drooping mouth or attitudes gone stale.

Is that strange? - Maybe, maybe not.

What may appear to be ‘different’ may be simply life happening to that person -- The peeling off of unwanted layers of one’s existence. Life always does that – shaking off what needs to be discarded i.e. old thoughts, opinions, perspectives, perceptions, experiences, feelings. When these no longer have any use or don’t work as well as they used to or have worn itself out, then it should be rid of immediately. Otherwise it will only hold us back to where we want to go or where life wants to take us. Life will nudge us to learn new things which hopefully might help bring us to our better selves and too ease our continuing journey down the road of life.

We’re never always the same person really. That is, if we pay attention to the lessons life sends our way each time. And learn them well.


"All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives." -- Steven Spielberg