WHAT CAN WE GIVE?

 

 

 

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If there is anything I, in my humble capacity, would encourage you to do... for yourself and for the world ----- it's to give. And give generously. Not so much materially. Oh but if you can afford it, please do so. But what I truly meant was ---- give of ... YOU!

At this point in our lives, at 40.. 50.. or older, we may have most everything in the I-Me-My-Mine of life already sated or settled. Now life may be subtly coaching or coaxing us to look outwardly, away from the 'self', and more on to others and to the bigger arena called the world. I say subtly because it is 'something that is hard to detect or that is not standing out or bold'. To quote Mr. Webster.

We may not notice it or sense it perhaps but it's there. A nagging presence, a biting dissatisfaction, a tinge of frustration or disillusionment about a lot of things in our world, outer or external world, which does not even concern us personally (or so we may think).

But translated in one word or phrase --- it is asking for 'something' from you and me. This 'something' may or could be the only thread that perhaps could or would keep it going in a crazy or tough world or life. And it's trying to find it in --- you, me, us. It may not or cannot say it out right... but it is sending out feelers, desperate feelers, directly or indirectly. But are we paying attention?

Like it or not we all stand connected. What happens to the other guy on the other side of the neighborhood could happen to you and me. What happens to places in other parts of the world could happen in our own turf. What happens to the world will affect everybody... everything.... touching our worlds within and without.

The next question would probably be ..."What can I give?"

If we think of great or grander expressions or responses, sure we can. In fact, there will be opportunities to do so and some of us in magnificent manner will respond gallantly. All good.

But stripped of that, we will find ourselves down to the simple ordinary puny individual and persons that we all are ..walking the face of the earth shoulder to shoulder.

So then ..."What can we give?"
And there is only one response to that --- give of ourselves.

As a line from an old song goes..... let me count the ways ---

Give with who you are and what you may have in your god-given-talent or skills... (Let's cast the material stuff aside in this one. Yes, it has its uses, too).

--- inspiration, hope, courage, compassion, empathy, encouragement, responsibility, good character, excellent values, kindness, humor and laughter, brotherhood and camaraderie, gentle hearts, sympathy, trust, faith, loyalty, friendship, talents in dancing - poetry - writing - sewing - acting - painting - teaching - healing - etc, ..... excellent skills in carpentry - house design - landscape gardening - pet care - care giving - leadership - organization - policing - etc.

At this point of our lives, life is not all about I-Me-My-Mine... anymore. Life is now seeing your fellow brother, sister, friend, or even enemy with the eyes of your heart. Respond to life with what it is and not necessarily with what you want it to be. Life is what it is; so is the world. Change will not come unless change begins with you. Give the best of who you are. You don't have to be qualified to give. Already you are, by God's design. And you begin with one small brave step at a time... one day at a time... over and over ... repeatedly ...for the rest of your life.

Give generously with who you are. That, I believe, is God's plan for the world. God's plan for you, me ... everybody.

God bless you with everything you may need for a blessed life. In Christ.

WHEN AUGUST COMES, DECEMBER CAN'T BE VERY FAR BEHIND

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A friend called me up on the phone just to say.... "Len, pasko na! Asan na pamasko ko!?" (Christmas is hear! Where's my gift!? ) ... and gave out a huge hearty laugh almost blowing out my eardrums! That's a Pinoy for you! The country is the only country (I think) which runs the longest Christmas celebration on the planet. In fact, check out the malls and you will find (this early) Christmas items and trimmings on sale lining their shelves. Sometimes a Christmas song or two rolls out on their sound system filling up the halls non-stop till your ears drop.
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Since I was a kid I hear of ... Winter Wonderland. I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas, Here Comes Santa Claus, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Let It Snow ..... Christmas songs from the land of Uncle Sam and winter snow. My favorite? - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
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I remember Tagalog Christmas songs, too..... Pasko Na Naman, Pasko Ay Sumapit, Sa Paskong Darating, Pasko Na Sinta Ko, Mano Po Ninong, Paskong Anong Saya. My favorite? - Pasko Na Naman.
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Truthfully, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Have you noticed that at this time of the year people smile so much more and often --- that people become so much kinder and giving --- that even strangers out on the streets have that happy glint in their eyes --- that streets, buildings, houses are all brightly lighted up with Christmas lights (whether they can afford it or not) --- !!! That everyone and everything is spelled --- g-e-n-e-r-o-s-i-t-y! That's the best part of the season that I love. Everybody is... feels... becomes... so GIVING. So generous!
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Now I won't take any argument about the kind or of reasons for the giving because I don't care. Simply put, I'm just a big sucker for a person who gives and gives...... even if it hurts their pockets, egos, hearts, minds, and time. And I like it best when someone is kind to others by saying the right things not because he or she is smart but because the other person needs to hear kindness and love. It's beautiful to see kindness and generosity in others... and lovely to strive to grow in generosity in our own.
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The idea that you are able to give of your time.. of yourself -- that already is a big deal to me. Though I have been chided plenty of times that I will be disappointed just as much. I know and I have been hurt dozens of times then and now because of generosity under false pretenses. Meaning that the giver cares more about self than about others. It's still the I, ME, MY, and MINE of things that eases quietly or loudly into life and living.. But of course I know that.... we know that, don't we?
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Still that won't change the message of the season, that is... giving and being happy about it.
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The Christmas spirit can be very contagious. Indeed! It's that spirit lovely to see all year round. Maybe we can; it's up to us.
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But of course we all know the main REASON for the season. I'll reserve that for another post.
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Enjoy these times of the maybe slow (oh yes, some people can still be so impatient about this) but the sure unfolding of..... Christmas! God bless you with lovely days and precious memories.

LIFE CANNOT BE LIFE WITHOUT PEOPLE IN IT

I was on my way down the hill at the tail-end of my morning walk when this silver-haired gentleman-foreigner heading my way from the opposite direction on seeing me slowed down and greeted me with a huge friendly smile and a question... "How many times do you go round the neighborhood?" I replied "Twice, most times." To this he smiled even more and said.. "Good for you!" And walked past me still wearing his big wide smile..
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Apparently he too was doing his usual morning routine. And so were other Filipino residents of the neighborhood at that early hour. But one thing looks quite clear to me.... Filipinos are shy .. in fact, just too shy to jump on an opportunity to make friends or simply share the good vibes of the moment. I remember Mom said this long ago....... "The art of giving and receiving does not come naturally to many. But it can be learned. Start with loving yourself, life and everything in it."
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Life without people would be similar to one landscape of meadows, mountains, rivers, forests running endlessly beyond the horizon and even farther. Magnificent but somehow incomplete.
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People, on the other hand, bring into life those thousand-and-one things which make it come pulsatingly alive. Challenges... perceptions... insights.... excitement... adventure... joy and happiness... creativity... productivity... emotional diversity... development... growth, etc. Add to the same pot the worrisome and wearying disputes... arguments... sorrows... questions... destruction.... conflicts... negativity... and other things more which make you want to bang your head on the wall. These things happen between man and man interacting and colliding in a manner they alone best know how.
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Life cannot be life without people in it.
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Wishing for you and your family God's blessings beyond measure.

WE MAKE A LIVING BY WHAT WE GET -- WE MAKE A LIFE BY WHAT WE GIVE

 

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I'm not done yet with the sorting of books since yesterday. It's a modest collection of books I found interesting through the years, not necessarily best sellers, but stuff which lent me wisdom or insights into life and living. Some of its authors are unknowns and as a good number are famous writers. The books have turned brown on the edges but I don't mind it. They have stayed good friends who have stood the test of time and have stood as silent witness to my dreams.. one of which is to have a book out in my name. Ahh but what is life without dreams!!

Here's a tiny book I found by author Maya Angelou " Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now"..  a pocketbook with just about 139 pages. I would like to share with you these lines (my favorite) lifted from page 15.......  to quote

'............ giving liberates the soul of the giver. The size and substance of the gift should be important to the recipient, and more important, that intangible but very real psychic force of good in the world is increased.

     When we cast our bread upon the waters, we can presume that someone downstream whose face we will never know will benefit from our action, as we who are downstream from another will profit from that grantor's gift.'

--Unquote.

Giving need not necessarily be on a grand or grander scale. It can even mean a tiny act of kindness, the happy thought you cause in another person's life, the comfort you add to another person's painful existence, the encouragement or strength or inspiration you cause to spark in a weary soul... and so much more. Neither does it require applause or need the spotlight on you standing on center-stage. Giving does not require thank you's either.

Giving, one which Maya prefers, is that which comes naturally. It gives without thinking, as a familiar phrase goes. It's giving from where it matters most.... the heart.

A heart that cares can do wonders not just to the people around him but farther down the line and beyond. Its good flows like a happy stream running merrily  through its winding course nourishing every living thing it passes as it continues onwards and out to the sea. It doesn't stop for a hug, appreciation, or someone's thank you. It's happy with its own thought that it's doing someone-something-somewhere some good. And the universe is made even happier with that one unselfish act. How much more happier with many more!! This can create a happier world.

A giving person is content with the idea that it is doing what it is supposed to do. By God's design. And the prayer is to be transformed into that divine design by God's guiding grace.

Wishing you all a pleasant and blessed day.
Keep looking for blessings;  expect it.
God bless you, lovely people.

LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU OR ME

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Here are beautiful lines read from a lovely book written by Pamela Steinke -- "Good Morning... God". This book is a permanent among others more of best loved books gathered through the years of reading. It has bravely survived the many efforts of sorting out stuff for donation to worthy groups. It will be around for a longer time still as it continues to work its magic to my mind heart and soul.

Allow me to quote ................

REACH OUT
Matthew 10:39

"Do not allow yourself to get wrapped up in self. Instead, let yourself be wrapped up in ME,  in your involvement with others. It is a rich world to those who seek to reach out beyond the bounce of their own existence. It is a world filled with wonder, filled with the splendor of sharing and reaping! Reach out to others, give of your time, your talents, your riches. Reach up and reach out and your life will be filled with treasure. Reach out in my NAME and be free."

Unquote.

A friend to whom I shared this with had this to say to that....  "Oh that's easy for one who has most everything in life. Having no bills to pay, no tuition to think about, no rent to worry about, no family squabbles that get on one's nerves, no messed up relationships, no uncertain future, no fear of losing a job, no illness draining one's energy and resources." And so much more she had on her list of burdens.

But I guess she didn't realize that those burdens are not her monopoly because we have them too, some or maybe all. And if it's not on that list, it could be something else of great or greater concern too, as far as we each are concerned. Of such is life. We know that, don't we?

Allow me to share my thoughts......

Certainly life is more than just our worries and woes, of burdens and strife. That it's not only the individual 'us' who live on this planet. To put it straight... life can't be just all about you or me.

As a person and individual, I operate in my own little corner of the world, true. And I try to work it the best way I can. But there also exists a bigger circle around me of family and friends, and a much bigger circle around that of neighborhood and community, and an even a huge circle winding round everything of country and the world.

Life is certainly not all about me. The years have taught me that we all stand connected in ways big and small. But sadly we seem to try to ignore that one simple truth. Instead we keep on building walls, fences, ideologies, philosophies, religions that serve the idea of the self.

The opposite is true... life has taught me that we thrive better if we all work together.... are joined with a common cause of wanting a blessed life. Thus we can move forward faster, dreams better realized, civilizations develop faster, generations improve one after the other, even mother nature revitalizes, and all living creatures live content in their unique original niche as Divinely designed.

God says 'Reach out' ... life is not just all about you or me or them. HE says we all stand connected. With that life can be far more richer.

God bless you all!

GENEROSITY WITHOUT A SELFIE

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Lovely post I saw this morning and gladly sharing on my page. Good words to live by.....  "Magis is generosity without a selfie."       - Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ

I pray this takes root in the hearts of many. As it thrives in the hearts of volunteers and workers and foreign friends near and far for/in the Visayas. Thank you, Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ for this blessed piece...  and to Mark Lopez for sharing.
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To quote:

Two Saturdays ago at the Richie Fernando Covered Courts, I was in a human chain with some young people whose faces were awfully familiar. We were unloading a truck of rice and we were laughing at how we struggled with the weight of those darn sacks. I couldn’t quite put names to their familiar faces, let alone remember where I had met them. 

When we had fully unloaded the truck, Brother Mark walked up to me and said: “Fr. Arnel, I saw you in the chain with our Payatas boys.” 

Well, there was my answer. I met these kids in Payatas when I said mass there in October. The picture now was complete…and very moving: boys living in a landfill and now happily uplifting the hungry and homeless of Yolanda: the “widow’s last coin” happening before my very eyes. It was magis in its truest sense of not counting the cost but still giving, of not heeding the wounds but still fighting, of not seeking any rest and reward, but still toiling and laboring…and even having fun while doing it. In other words—offering from what little you have, enriching others from your own poverty, giving from your dearth.

For many years, I’ve noticed how our students and alumni understand magis in quite a different sense (and I blame us, Jesuits, first of all for having let it go unchecked, surely we dropped the ball on this one.) They describe magis like this: soar higher, fly faster, achieve more, be smarter and hipper, not just 3-peat, go 4-peat, no, go 5-peat; more distinction, more fame, more glory to God, yes, but glory to us doesn’t hurt along the way!

Go back to Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises and we realize that magis in the quintessential sense means—are you ready?—more humility, more simplicity, more self-outpouring, more poverty of spirit, and should God desire it, more material poverty, even. See, the Prayer for Generosity is the incarnation of the spirit of magis. Run the lines in your mind (give and not to count the cost, fight and not to heed the wounds, etc.) and you’ll realize that true magis is giving to others from our own dearth, building others from own homelessness, healing others in spite our woundedness. In other words, think of the Prayer for Generosity when you think of the true spirit of magis. For magis is generosity without a selfie.

See the difference, sisters and brothers? Magis is all about God, therefore, it is all about our neighbor, therefore, it is not all about us. This is the magis behind the widow’s last coin, behind the Payatas boys’ willing and joyful hands.  Magis is to do both the great and the small for God, but without the selfie…because then it becomes all about us, really.

Incidentally, I was thinking, if I were to change a line in our alma mater song, I would probably replace the one that says, “Win or lose, it’s the school we choose.” I wonder if that line does not in fact belie the spirit of “down from the hill, down to the world go I.” I have a creepy feeling that the line is a selfie. And I’m sure you’ve noticed, dear sisters and brothers, that this thing we call “selfie”, it comes in a thousand different forms. But in all of those forms, the thing that comes between our eyes and the world that we should be looking at — is us looking at ourselves.

Dear Father Ignatius, help us remember the generous widow in our Lord’s story whenever we think of your magis. Amen.

*delivered at the ADMU College Chapel noontime mass, Nov 25, 2013

Unquote.

(I stumbled upon these beautiful posters (thanks to the internet) to further essay such beautiful thoughts.)

BOTHER TO CARE

'Why bother?' I heard a friend say that only recently. And couldn't get my mind off those words. When he said that he was not in a friendly mood... to himself, that is. Apparently something was bothering him. So maybe in frustration or irritation he uttered those words out of despair or surrender. I didn't try to find out those reasons because I thought it best that he sort it out himself. Besides he didn't seem inclined to reveal or consult or as the usual get it off his chest... as most people would.

But I thought again.

I think those words are so mean and unkind and unfeeling. Insensitive. 'Why bother' is like putting up a huge wall - a barrier - to keep out the 'unwanted' into your own 'hallowed' ground. Oh it's true that people have problems and that we are to mind our own business, or so we're told, if we are to keep our turf sane and safe. But that's just the big problem. We've been doing that for so long that we now have lost touch with feelings, emotions that go through the heart and mind of another person... who happens to be a human being too.

But why should we not connect with that anymore. Isn't it that whatever pain the other person goes through is so much the same as ours.. maybe only packaged differently? When he hurts, we feel that hurt - are familiar with it too because we've been through the same things before or are going through something like it in the present.

You know what, not everybody is very good at hiding his or her pain or difficulty... although they would certainly try. But it shows on faces, in the eyes, in the drooping mouth, in the silence of unspoken words that speak loudly. You can easily see through it all. Doesn't need a brilliant mind to do that.

But you know something else more? It takes a human heart to bother to care and offer his helping hand to the other. It takes the best of a person to bother to take time to lift up a person when he's down in the dump. It takes a human being to care over another human being. So, bother... cos you'll never know when one day a person at the receiving end of your giving could be your own.


(Photo sent by a friend)

HOW DO YOU SPELL -- GIVE

How do you spell the word 'give'?

It's spelled as ... c-o-m-p-a-s-s-i-o-n.

When you give, it simply means that you ---

--- clearly see, can understand, can relate, do sympathize, do care, do love -- the other

.....who may not be as bright, as well-positioned, as educated, as rich, as healthy, as well-dressed, or as beautiful as you are.

You give because you see the other person's need to receive.

And you respond as God responds.

Giving straight from the heart..... is the blueprint of GIVE... and of giving.

GIVING TO YOURSELF WELL - ALLOWS YOU TO GIVE TO OTHERS BETTER

I was at dinner one night with my two best friends. The place was nice, food was good, and so was the conversation. Until halfway through dinner, Jenny suddenly spoke up with a sigh ‘I feel so old and useless.’ That shook us by surprise. ‘Hey, what’s wrong now? “, May countered at the same time threw a quick glance at me. ‘Oh it’s this feeling I got yesterday. It feels like I’ve done nothing yet for me.’ Well, I won’t tell more about that night or about Jenny except that her words weighed heavily on my mind even long after that evening had past.

When I woke up early this morning I headed straight to my daughters’ bedroom to tidy up. I don’t know why they can’t learn to make up their beds before going to work. I’ve been trying to make them for years now. It’s all rush – rush – rush! Well, I saw this book lying on my daughter’s bed. It was A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Canfield and Hansen, authors. With nothing much to do I took it, sat on her bed and leisurely leafed through its pages … and froze on page 181. I remembered Jenny.

It read…

MILLIE’S MOTHER’S RED DRESS

It hung there in the closet
While she was dying, Mother’s red dress,
Like a gash in the row
Of dark, old clothes
She had worn away her life in.

They had called me home
And I knew when I saw her
She wasn’t going to last.

When I saw the dress, I said
“Why, Mother-- how beautiful!
I’ve never seen it on you.”

I sat by her bed
And she sighed a bigger breath
Than I thought she could hold.
“Now that I’ll soon be gone,
I can see some things.
Oh, I taught you good—but I taught you wrong.”

“What do you mean, Mother?”

“Well—I always thought
That a good woman never takes her turn,
That she’s just for doing for somebody else.
Do here, do there, always keep
Everybody else’s wants tended and make sure
Yours are at the bottom of the heap.

“Maybe someday you’ll get to them.
But of course you never do.
My life was like that—doing for your dad,
Doing for the boys, for your sisters, for you.”

“You did—everything a mother could.”

“Oh, Millie, Millie, it was no good—
For you—for him. Don’t you see?
I did you the worst of wrongs.
I asked for nothing—for me!

“Your father in the other room,
All stirred up and staring at the walls—
When the doctor told him, he took
It bad—came to my bed and all but shook
The life right out of me. “You can’t die,
Do you hear? What’ll become of me?’
“What’ll become of me?’
It’ll be hard, all right, when I go.
He can’t even find the frying pan, you know.

“And you children—
I was a free ride for everybody, everywhere.
I was the first one up and the last one down
Seven days out of the week.
I always took the toast that got burned.
And the very smallest piece of pie.

“I look to how some of your brothers
Treat their wives now
And it makes me sick, ’cause it was me
That taught it to them. And they learned.
They learned that a woman doesn’t
Even exist except to give.
Why, every single penny that I could save
Went for our clothes, or your books,
Even when it wasn’t necessary.
Can’t even remember once when I took
Myself downtown to buy something beautiful—
For me.

“Except last year when I got that red dress.
I found I had twenty dollars
That wasn’t especially spoke for.
I was on my way to pay it extra on the washer.
But somehow—I came home with this big box.
Your father really gave it to me then.
‘Where you going to wear a thing like that to—
Some opera or something?’
And he was right, I guess.
I’ve never, except in the store,
Put on that dress.

“Oh Millie—I always thought if you take
Nothing for yourself in this world
You’d have it all in the next somehow
I don’t believe that anymore.
I think the Lord wants us to have something—
Here—and now.

“And I’m telling you, Millie, if some miracle
Could get me off this bed, you could look
For a different mother, ‘cause I would be one.
Oh I passed up my turn so long
I would hardly know how to take it.
But I’d learn, Millie.
I would learn!”

It hung there in the closet
While she was dying, Mother’s red dress,
Like a gash in the row
Of dark, old clothes
She had worn away her life in.

Her last words to me were these:
“Do me the honor, Millie,
Of not following in my footsteps.
Promise me that.”

I promised.
She caught her breath
Then Mother took her turn
In death.

By Carol Lynn Pearson


It’s quite a long piece, isn’t it? But it can’t be written in any other way. This in the way Pearson wrote it is pure gold. Tomorrow I’m going to give Jenny a copy. And I am going to tell her that she would be doing her family a big favor and would love them best if first she learned to “do something – for me”… and to do it here—and now.