Thursday, June 10, 2010


'Why bother?' I heard a friend say that only recently. And couldn't get my mind off those words. When he said that he was not in a friendly mood... to himself, that is. Apparently something was bothering him. So maybe in frustration or irritation he uttered those words out of despair or surrender. I didn't try to find out those reasons because I thought it best that he sort it out himself. Besides he didn't seem inclined to reveal or consult or as the usual get it off his chest... as most people would.

But I thought again.

I think those words are so mean and unkind and unfeeling. Insensitive. 'Why bother' is like putting up a huge wall - a barrier - to keep out the 'unwanted' into your own 'hallowed' ground. Oh it's true that people have problems and that we are to mind our own business, or so we're told, if we are to keep our turf sane and safe. But that's just the big problem. We've been doing that for so long that we now have lost touch with feelings, emotions that go through the heart and mind of another person... who happens to be a human being too.

But why should we not connect with that anymore. Isn't it that whatever pain the other person goes through is so much the same as ours.. maybe only packaged differently? When he hurts, we feel that hurt - are familiar with it too because we've been through the same things before or are going through something like it in the present.

You know what, not everybody is very good at hiding his or her pain or difficulty... although they would certainly try. But it shows on faces, in the eyes, in the drooping mouth, in the silence of unspoken words that speak loudly. You can easily see through it all. Doesn't need a brilliant mind to do that.

But you know something else more? It takes a human heart to bother to care and offer his helping hand to the other. It takes the best of a person to bother to take time to lift up a person when he's down in the dump. It takes a human being to care over another human being. So, bother... cos you'll never know when one day a person at the receiving end of your giving could be your own.

(Photo sent by a friend)


  1. Ellen,

    If you can not help someone, do not harm him or her is the principle we all should believe in. Of course if one has to harm someone in course of carrying out duty, that is seperate issue. However most of us may not like someone being little too prying, so best is to tell the person whom we feel is under cloud that we are there for support should he or she wish for it. Let the individual decide whom to confide in.

    Take care

  2. last paragraph... i just loved those sweet cherish able facts of life.. why worry? life is a mixture,,we shall enjoy it..:)...

    Hw r u Ellen? hope every thing is fine with n ur gals..:)take care...:)

  3. Hello Jack,

    Thank you for your visit and insights -- which is truly appreciated... as it's coming from the popular and respected 'Uncle' of many individuals virtual and in real time.

    Have a good day and God bless you!

  4. Hi Pram,

    Great to see you; 'been a long time. I hope everything's okay at your end. Yes, all's fine with the girls and me, thanks.

    I brought this line in your post here because it's wonderful wisdom -- "When You Trust Someone, Trust Him/Her Completely Without any Doubt. At the End, You Would Get One of the Two: Either a Lesson for Your Life or a Very Good Person." ----- I couldn't fine the usual comment section in your new post, so I decided to do my comment here in case you'd come by again. It's a lovely one and thanks for sharing this wisdom with the rest of us.

    Take care and God bless you.

  5. I totally agree with you Ellen, but may be your friend needed a little time alone to recover from whatever has happened , it happens with all of us..sometimes we just dont want anyone to ask us about anything even if were not happy...youre a kind soul and Im sure your friend would need you once he /she is out of the initial heaviness that he's feeling :)

  6. You're a wonderful sweet friend, Sana. Love it when you come visiting. Thank you.

    Oh don't worry bout the guy; he'll be fine. Anyway, his 'mood' nudged me into a thought and writing about it. I think that phrase 'why bother' we always hear from different persons for many different reasons. But it always suggests something quite negative and that seems to be a problem. Especially when it springs out from an uncaring attitude or in another sense a feeling of defeat. Sad, isn't it?


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