Friday, February 20, 2009


It’s not all the time that I want company, or listen to the noise of endless banter, or watch the chaotic human parade of other people’s lives. It’s vexing to the mind, is wearying to the heart, and tires the soul down. It leads to confusion and troubling vibrations in the air turning my world upside down. It’s startling how all these can touch your own sphere of life and leave you so drained by it all.

Sometimes … I simply want to be alone. To be there in the my own moment just being - To feel the soft breeze on my face – To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin – To hear birds chirping on the trees – To feel the waters under my feet walking by the seashore – To touch the petal of a flower – To watch the sun go down on the horizon – To let the rain touch my skin – To write my dreams on clouds of flight – To be still - To hear my heartbeat.

Sometimes I simply want to be that little child on God’s lap – to tell him about how Peter and Jane have hurt me – to ask him to make Billy the Bully a good boy so that he won’t bother me again when I walk by his house – to tell my mom and dad to please know why I cry when they leave for the office – to tell him how bad I feel because Santa Claus didn’t give me a Barbie Doll for Christmas – to ask him to make grandpa well again so that we could play – to thank him for letting Mom cook my favorite spaghetti with huge meatballs every Saturday YUMMY!

Sometimes I simply want to be with my thoughts – thinking of the past and the things it has left me with – thinking of the present and how it’s forming my tomorrows – wondering what my tomorrows will be like or when I will be finally gone.

Sometimes I simply want to be – seeing my flaws, mistakes, imperfections – seeing how fragile and vulnerable I truly am – looking at my limitations, my borders, my walls – and yet understanding that I too have my own strengths, potential, and the power to dream. That everything there, good or bad, has shaped who I am. That all that I was, is, and will be is the story of my life.

Sometimes I simply want to be here – with nothing – doing nothing – yet loving everything.
"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” -  Pearl Buck (1892 – 1973)

Monday, February 16, 2009

THE STORY OF LOVE (My friend's story)

February is the month of love and of lovers. And love takes on many shapes and forms and reasons. A friend told me to write about love and I could but I won't. A lot has been said about it already, everything that is both magnificent and wonderful. But am in a more playful mood right now, so am doing a repost of a piece done way back and requested by that same friend. Everybody has a favorite song, right? Try to find your favorite in this line-up. Happy Valentine's Month!!! :-)
(In the picture above is my daughter Christine and her fiance Daniel.)


A friend kidded me about telling his story by piecing together several songs. I said ‘why not?’ and it turned out to be such fun. So here’s his ‘story’ and the songs. (Hey, buddy, maybe when she sees this, she'll understand. You know, love can be sweeter the second time around. :-) I know she still is the Queen of your heart. Good luck! ...)

So here's your song, or songs....

-And once in every life you find someone that’s right
And when you say forever it’s true
That’s the love I found in you.
(The Love I Found in You - Jim Brickman)

-I am a man who will fight for your honor
I’ll be the hero that you’re dreaming of
We’ll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love.
(The Glory of Love - Peter Cetera)

-And when I’m in your arms I need you to know
I’ve never been this close
You give me strength, you give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I’m in your arms I need you to know
I’ve never been, never been this close.
(Close - Aaron Lines)

-I know the color of love and it lives inside of you
I know the color of love, it’s in the image of you
If it comes from the heart then you know that it’s true
It will color your soul like a rainbow
And the color of love is in you.
(The Color of Love - Boyz II Men)

-I’d rather have bad times with you
Than good times with someone else
I’d rather be beside you in a storm
Than safe and warm by myself
I’d rather have hard times together
Than to have it easy apart
I’d rather have the one who holds my heart.
(I’d Rather - Luther Vandross)

-Baby, please try to forgive me
Stay here, don’t put out the glow
Hold me now don’t bother
If every minute makes me weaker
You can save me from the man that I’ve become
Looking back on the things I’ve done
I was trying to be someone
I played my part and kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart.
(Shape of My Heart - BackStreet Boys)

-Lonely won’t leave me alone
Why tell me why
Lonely won’t let me fall in love
Oh everywhere I go always by my side
Lonely won’t even let me fall in love.
(Lonely Won’t Leave Me Alone - Jermaine Jackson)

-I’ll always look back as I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all of our tears will be lost in the rain
When I’ve found my way back to your arms again
But until that day you know
You are the queen of my heart.
(Queen of My Heart - Westlife)

-Well, I’ve learned to let you go
And if you lost your love for me
Well, you never let it show, oh no.
There was no way to compromise
So now we’re living separate lives.
(Separate Lives - Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin)

-Cause what hurts today, in time will fade away
When you told me goodbye, I felt so betrayed
Find the courage to move on.
One day I’ll replace the love I’ve lost
I’ll find a way – One day, I’ll be okay.
(I’ll Find a Way - Blu Cantrell)

The End

Monday, February 9, 2009


Meeting up with my close friends is a joy and such a bag of significance. The hours spent with them will end up revealing something odd or new but which never fail to tweak my interest. It amazes me no end to see a ‘different’ person coming to the lunch table every time and sharing her world with the rest of us. At one time I will be seeing starry eyes, deep smiles etched on sunny faces, or an amusing bounce in their gait. Then on the next get-together everything is replaced by furrowed brows or drooping mouth or attitudes gone stale.

Is that strange? - Maybe, maybe not.

What may appear to be ‘different’ may be simply life happening to that person -- The peeling off of unwanted layers of one’s existence. Life always does that – shaking off what needs to be discarded i.e. old thoughts, opinions, perspectives, perceptions, experiences, feelings. When these no longer have any use or don’t work as well as they used to or have worn itself out, then it should be rid of immediately. Otherwise it will only hold us back to where we want to go or where life wants to take us. Life will nudge us to learn new things which hopefully might help bring us to our better selves and too ease our continuing journey down the road of life.

We’re never always the same person really. That is, if we pay attention to the lessons life sends our way each time. And learn them well.

"All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives." -- Steven Spielberg