(We were at the grave of her dad paying our respects last Sunday when this picture was taken by my youngest daughter, Malen -- she aimed her cellphone upwards focusing on a tree silhouetted against the cloudy sky blocking out the sun. How eloquently don't you think does it speak of my heart - our hearts - at this low point in our lives.)
I have been through a lot in life particular this past few weeks wherein I was battered and bruised by anxiety, frustration, discouragement, fear, doubt, failed expectations, unhappiness, loneliness, grief, and sorrow.... name it and I've been through it. Even my faith went diving to the lowest ebb I've never felt before.
I can't hold back time nor tell it to stay at that point I felt so much happiness. Even if I badgered or pushed or bribed or screamed my head off telling it to STOP! STAND STILL! FREEZE! PLEASE!!! It won't, not for me or for anyone like me. Time is cruel and is not moved by tears grief or sorrow. It will do what it does, always what it does so well... and that is -- it moves on, with or without us.
But all that I now look back to with fresh understanding courage and strength. And perhaps even much more wiser as my faith also has found itself renewed. God may have led me through the deep dark valley but He also led me out to the sun and new life. For all that and even more I am so grateful to Him ---a loving God who keeps His promises and answers prayer. To Him who loves truly fully and so well.
If there is something, aside from my family, which helped buoy up my flagging spirit.... it is wonderful friends and beautiful friendships. Nothing can ever equal these in any terms or currency or compliment or riches... NOTHING. They are in a class all of their own.. incomparable and worthy.
If there is something, aside from my family, which helped buoy up my flagging spirit.... it is wonderful friends and beautiful friendships. Nothing can ever equal these in any terms or currency or compliment or riches... NOTHING. They are in a class all of their own.. incomparable and worthy.
Allow me to mention names here who came to my blogs in o3 and blogspot and too left warm messages in orkut. But I will beg your pardon if I have missed some names. It is not intentional. But I know and you know too that the heart is so much better in remembering wonderful people than the mind ever is . So I say with confidence that you ALL are remembered here where it matters most --- in the heart.
Here they are not in any particular order......
sumit, jitu, divya, keerthi, srividya, LP53, niceguy, samyukta, regina, pearl, justcurious, phoenix, indrasish, kamesh, amit, shrawan, amita, lust4life, zephyr, chakoli, thisisme, mini, ramya, sneha, sensitivesmile, virtualscorpio, khalid, joel, and raj.
I say... You are all so wonderful! How lucky and privileged I am to have your friendships, for having you in my life. Thank you so much! I pray that God bless you with tons and tons of blessings for your peace, joy, happiness, good health, success, and prosperity all through your lives.
Love you all!
Ellen
There's more to tell on the subject of life lessons... but let's have it in another post. See you there soon.
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome meeting you this year. I know you have been through battles and times that test/rock the strongest in faith but God will always prevail in our lives when we step back and allow Him to work.
May you receive all that God has for you and yours in 2008! Remember that when times seem hardest and darkest it is then that God's light truly shines!
God Bless you and Keep you!
In Him,
Regina!
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteIt feels so good to see a post from you.
Well I have been busier than ever this new year.. But just want to tell u that u have always been remembered.
Here's wishing you and your family a bright year ahead and a new start to another phase in life. The past can't be changed but here's hoping that the future brings lot of smiles on your faces.
Take Care!
Kamesh
Hi Regina,
ReplyDeleteThe warmth of your friendship and the beauty of your words are such a wonderful source of comfort solace and strength. I needed that. Thank you so much.
God bless you and your family.
I hope they know how blest they are to have you. :-)
Always,
Ellen
Hello Kamesh,
ReplyDeleteRemembrance is the best gift of friendship. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Yes, my dear friend, with renewed courage I and my children look forward to a better year ahead. Although we know that it won't be easy but rest assured that we'll give it our best shot. By the grace of God.. we will have those smiles back on our faces again.
Take care and do learn to slow down a bit and appreciate the things which truly make life beautiful.
May God bless you with tons of good things in your life.
Always,
Ellen
Hi Ellen
ReplyDeleteHope you have been able to cope up with the situation you were in..
Wish you a Happy New Year :-)
Hello Busybee,
ReplyDeleteThe wonderful thing bout being human is that humans have the built-in capacity to cope, think things through, recoup lost energies faith hope and strength...and too have supportive family and friends around him. But most importantly is the ability to --- pray.
Yes, dear BusyBee, we do our best in coping with our loss and still continue to do so with every passing day.... until the healing will be one day complete. With God's grace, my daughters and I will come to that day when we can look back without grief and sorrow but appreciation for the memories we were allowed to experience with him.
Thank you, my friend.. and I wish you too all the best in the new year.
God bless you and your family.
Ellen
I am delighted to see this post of urs. You inspire people in true sense of the word. May I mention that whenever I get this slight feelin that life is becomuing a difficult customer , I go through ur post archives. You have written so wonderfully on a lot of issues we face in our lives and I am sure younsters can learn a lot from your life experiences.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is impossible to forget the pain of losing a loved one, I believe that you will absorb this pain too and will continue to have that wonderful lively smile on your face and rubbing a bit of it on several fortunate ones like us.
May I wish you and your sweet family (which includes ur pets too :)) a fulfilling and happy New Year 2008.
Hi JustCurious,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely words.. warms the heart so. Do allow me to say something...
It is true that the things that I write in the blog all rise from life experiences of friends and mine too. It is a gathering of wisdom which are handed down by a loving God who undoubtedly makes sure that I or you or others will learn and benefit from. But it's not only for our own consumption and use -- it's also given us to send out and share with others. That way it may serve a bigger purpose meant by God. God-given wisdom therefore is not meant for hoarding, it is meant to help build lives -- yours and mine and others more.
Aww gee, thank you for the New Year wish and greeting. My pets told me to thank you too. :-D They look thrilled!!!
And from us to you, may everything good make your new year the best. But make room for more... cos I am sure that the best of the best is coming to your home soon... sent by a magnificent God who loves you and your family! :-)
God bless you all.
Ellen