GOODBYE SEPTEMBER -- WITH MEMORIES IN THE HEART

September is now gone. This piece here to remember September... and all the Septembers of long ago. The memories may be different each time but the feelings are the same.  Here's to September.

--- Today is the last day of September. Another added to our treasure chest of memories. MOMENTS IN SEPTEMBER . I live for moments. It does not have to be in a grand or grander scale (although if it does so much better) ... everything is worthy for my treasure chest.

It could be the most mundane ordinary insignificant thing as a McDo meal on one spur-of-the-moment morning -- but having it with the ones you love is such a terrific thing! It's not the McDo nor some other meal but it's the moment spent with family that's tops on the list.

There's also that fine dinner shared with a good family friend of many years (Rudy Ledesma). A perfect moment Rudy got his pasalubong of coffee from Germany, courtesy of youngest daughter Malen. The evening went wonderfully well ending with an invitation for dinner at his place -- he's cooking! To which his wife Ellen agreed, her charming chinita eyes smiling.

Then there's that surprising moment when Lucky-B jumped up the sofa (for the first time) and cuddled close to Malen. She's the new and youngest member of the pack. Not camera-shy either, aye?! :-D ... Are you wondering bout the name Lucky-B? Well, there's a Lucky who came first and she's now a senior dog (23 dog years)... a very very senior dog... and still with us. She's now wrinkled, blind, deaf, balding, slow in her movements but .....We love her! People and animals, I believe, shouldn't be 'discarded' just like that when they have turned old, ugly, and useless. Because honestly .....They will always be a part of your heart.

Being at the shore at early dawn is a beautiful moment that pleases the senses. The soft scarlet skies... the waves softly rustling under your feet... a gentle morning breeze blowing. That wonderful feel-good feeling. Sigh! The hustle-and-bustle of the chaotic city life simply melts away. Somewhere in Zambales.

Everyday the trash is gathered and taken to the outside bin for the garbage truck to pick up. I make sure to cut open any plastic sachets or pouches. No pouches.... no animals hurt. You see, you'll never know where these garbage would lead to. Our garbage collection system is grossly imperfect. These plastics, in some way or another, get to the seas.. thanks to our floods, too. There, some animal could get caught inside these plastic death traps. Also, I cut into pieces long strings of anything which could accidentally wrap itself around the animals' necks. Because... a little goes a long way to help or save the animals. Nobody will know nor notice but you do. And the animals can't thank you themselves either. BUT .....That little that you do .... matters!

We'll be saying goodbye to September but with a smile. And a sincere thank you with a grateful heart to.... a magnificent God and Father who showers gifts so generously on His children. . God bless you, folks!

Goodbye, September.

SOMETIMES I JUST WISH I WAS ME..OLD AND WEARY

j

A friend called me up not so long ago. Having just arrived from Cebu she wanted to meet up for a chat over green tea Frappuccino. Both our favorites at Starbucks (of course). Unfortunately I had to bow out of the invitation as there were important errands that had to be done. So…. she persistently and determinedly tied me down to the phone with updates about her life in Cebu. Although I was delighted over her adventures and misadventures for the past couple of years (that’s how long we have lost touch with each other) I sensed that something seemed off with the way she sounded.

 “Okay, what’s up?” I asked straightforwardly. We’ve been friends too long that straightforwardness has become a comfy thing between us.

“Len, sometimes I wish I was just me… old and weary.” She replied with unsurprising honesty. …. And that’s the point where I stop telling you about her, my friend Irma (not her true name). Yes we had our chat, a lengthy one, and it was a two-way learning moment for us both. That already is a treasure.

Let’s think about this…… “I wish I was just me… old and weary.”

That’s a ‘hugot’ line, right? Meaning that runs deep. We would probably guess that something or some things happened somewhere in there which had caused this weariness of the soul. But I will tell you this, honestly, who would not think along those lines at some point or other in this our fragile life?

“I wish I was just me…” ------- Do you know who you are? What roles do you play in life (I know we can be many things to many different people)? Are you catering to other people’s expectations or just yours? Do you do things because you love doing them? Do you hate doing them? What matters to you? Do you or do you not care? Do you sometimes wish you were doing something else? Or lived another life different from yours now?

There is no straight or right answer to those questions. Or so I believe. Because you are that person in each-and-every-question-and-answer lived by you at many different and diverse points in your life. You hate, you love, you adore, you are brave, you despise, and you abhor, also can be cold and despicable when reason presents itself. You pretend you are strong and yet vulnerable too, you are confused, and sometimes stubborn even in being wrong. You are all of the above and even so much more. You are everything a human being is. Perfect and flawed. But then at the end of the day when the dust has settled and you stand alone tired and utterly exhausted, you drop to the ground buckling under the overwhelming weight of it all. Then you exhale a weary wish…….… ‘I wish I was just me.’

Oh? So you think you are somebody else inside that body carrying your name? Because I think those things that you do both the good and the imperfection in some is … you. And that heart-breaking wish is simply your weary soul’s cry to stop and rest awhile. Pay attention. Rest. Connect with the heavens.

“…old and weary” ------- Oh but I hear that often said by friends and strangers alike. Both from the young and the old.

When young people say it, it rises from being drained of all energy, effort, plans, strength, courage, hope, and perhaps faith, too. Trying to make it in this crazy world of ours is tough. Pursuing dreams even tougher. And you are not even assured of success or of making it. Sometimes it may seem so near and yet still so far. So each day you struggle with frustration, disappointment, irritation, failed expectations, and bits and pieces of your broken dreams. Every night you plop down on your bed worn out to the bone. So weary… so feeling old.

When old people utter those words, it expresses a mix of everything past present and even the future. It hovers over why-did-it-happen or what-could-have-been. Regrets creep in and weigh down both the mind and the heart. It doesn’t help if within the home they become just a piece of the furniture. No longer enjoying the vibrant connection enjoyed with the family in those younger days. Although not entirely the family’s fault. The new restrictions on the mind and body put on limitations to choices, his or theirs. This reality creates a painful void for loneliness and longing. The soul becomes weary and feeling so very old.

It’s the soul that feels and bears the brunt of our physical effort and lives. It is strong, no doubt about that. But sometimes you just have to let it breathe… recharge itself… give it space to become new again. Just as the body needs to rest – the soul needs to remember its connection with the Divine. It needs to reconnect every so often.

When the soul speaks.... Listen! You do this with prayer. God bless you.