DON'T WAIT TILL EVERYTHING IS JUST RIGHT

We always expect perfection, in ourselves, in others, in things. Anything which is not right or falling short of our expectations ruffles our peace and composure. Gee, that is a short-sighted way of looking at things or at life in general, don’t you think? “It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions” (Mark Victor Hansen) He is definitely right about that. Nothing is ever perfect, something will be lacking or will never be enough or be made differently from what we had hoped for. So are we going to just sit there and moan the situation or circumstance? Bang our heads against the wall or bang the other guy’s head on the wall for not doing it right? Hansen has an answer to that too… “Don’t wait until everything is just right. Get started now.” He’s referring to you – he says it’s time to get kicking ass – yours! He further added…”With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Imperfections push you to become better! I’ve read this line somewhere though I don’t remember now --- ‘Excellence not perfection is what we’re all aiming for- isn’t it?’

LIFE WON'T ALWAYS GIVE US WHAT WE WANT - BUT BE READY FOR SURPRISES

“So why am I here – in this place in this time? Never planned it nor dreamed about it but I’m here. What am I supposed to be doing here; there is nothing I can see that would tap into my reserves or stack of knowledge talent or skills. I’ve trained for something else – this isn’t what I had hoped for but this is what I get.” --lines from a friend's diary... or somebody's too at some point or another.

Is that frustrating, disappointing, exasperating, maddening, annoying? It sure is. I know; those were my lines before too. But I’ve learned, oh yes I’ve learned. To quote Morgan Freeman ‘…..once you get wherever it is you are going, that is where you were going to be….’ Life is unpredictable, it’s full of surprises – ‘you never know what’s going to happen’ (Freeman said that too). Sometimes you don’t get what you want or hope for. But life moves you to a course where it wants you to journey, I think by Someone’s supreme design. Odd thing is, it pushes you to do the next best thing – give it your best shot whether for the challenge it poses or simply to survive. And what do you get for it? – a smarter and wiser you! Perhaps it was best that it happened this way, if you think about it -- Because would you have ended up this smarter or wiser or successful if you had things going your way? We don’t know that, do we? Ah life!

CHANGING HOW YOU THINK - CHANGES THINGS

"You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions." -- Adlin Sinclair

When I get some bit of bad news, I immediately feel bad about it and behave like I was hit by a huge brick on the head. It eats me up and I begin to act the way I feel. But that isn’t always the smart or wise thing to do. It could be lots better of course, at least in my reaction towards it so that its negativity won’t have to affect or influence me or my day or my life to an extent. So have I learned? Yes, I have; to change the effect of bad news, I need to change my attitude towards it or my way of thinking. It’s somebody else’s bad news. All that I can give to it is sympathy understanding compassion and prayer. I could too do my bit to help alleviate the other person’s pain but there’s only so much that I can do or anyone can do, for that matter. Realizing that then releases me from having to wrestle with odd or unnecessary emotions which shouldn’t be there anyway. Because, truth is, the other person has to deal with the bad news himself his way. He alone will have to extract the lessons that he should be learning – that’s the reason why it’s there – solely for his learning. God meant it that way, you know. This business of living it’s all for the purpose of making ourselves grow – become better. There’s no sidetracking that Divine plan.

IMPLAUSIBLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT WON'T WORK

We are used to looking at the bad side of things that whatever does not meet our expectations are quickly thrown into the ‘will not work’ bin. And definitely we’ve accumulated piles and piles of those ‘will not work’ reasons and have changed bins several times through the years. I don’t know where we got that myopic view of looking at life and living but it sure does not do anything for us at all - Albeit lots of amazingly good opportunities are lost in that manner.

The thing is that something which we may have categorized ‘not plausible’ will just might have one teeny-weeny cause in there which might work to its favor and perhaps turn things around if given the chance -- Unless of course we’ve exhausted our search inside out and satisfyingly proved to ourselves that the case is downright hopeless -- Then and only then should that be bulldozed out of our life. But yes, that would be the exception rather than the rule.

Do you know what keeps scientists, inventors, businessmen et al do their respective tasks a thousand times over – doggedly going back to the drawing boards when stumped with an obstacle, flaw, or hurdle? They keep searching for that one good reason that will tell them that it will work! The things which we are enjoying now from that unflagging effort definitely tell us that they found it. Who’s telling us now that we can’t do the same??

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work.
You only need to find one good reason why it will." - Dr. Robert Anthony

(That picture there is Malen on her way to a big adventure towards her dream. God bless, Honey!)

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 8

Looking back through the years much had happened in my life which certainly could be called as the ‘School of Hard Knocks’. Have you even seen a cartoon in which the leading character just unwittingly got him into a bunch of adventure and misadventure? That wherever he would turn he’d either come up against a thick wall or a steep mountain or perilous sea or some weird unexpected disaster? – Quite insurmountable in every way. That would be me.

But it wasn’t really that terrifying nor was it hopeless because every tale had a quite lovely ending. Credit goes to Someone up there.

What I’m driving at is in those times in-between or when the world seems to suddenly stop turning and you find yourself alone, lonely, isolated from the rest of humankind or so it seems... And something kicks so badly in your gut - That’s when you wish so hard that someone would stop awhile and hold your hand and tell you that everything will be alright - Even if you very well know that it’s farther from the truth. But no matter because all that you ever need and want in that moment is just to have someone to hold your hand and understand.

But of course we don’t say it out loud, do we? We would rather hope and wish in the silence of our hearts that someone would read our minds and see what we see or look deep into our hearts and feel what we feel. How we wish that they won’t be afraid to be there when needed or share that one precious moment of vulnerability of the soul. Is that too much to ask for?

I have learned that sometimes all that a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

(P.S. The picture there is courtesy of Malen's cam-phone.)

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 7

Two very real things happen in life – those things which we can influence or dictate upon --- and those things which we have no direct control over, truly just totally beyond our control.

When you tell yourself that you’ve lost one good opportunity because you failed to do quite enough, that’s only being too hard on yourself. If one thing doesn’t work, there will be lots more, definitely. Your opportunity or chance does not disappear when one excellent prospect flies out the window. Opportunities are still there, it’s only the choices which have been reduced. And it’s no fault of yours either. Remember that it takes two to tango – you and the company you’ve targeted. So you may think that you have what it takes for the job you seek, but think again, that company has its own criteria (they always do) on the people they’d like or want working for them. You may be a multi-faceted and very talented applicant but unfortunately you are not what they need. So say goodbye and walk out the door smiling and move on to the next one on your list. By the way, truth is that opportunity isn’t lost at all because some other guy or girl will be sure to take it. Think good thoughts and wish that person well.

And so I’ve learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 6

Yup, I have learned that anyone who stops learning is -- old.

I just don’t get it whenever I hear people say --- ‘enough of learning’ ‘had my fill when I was in school’ ‘am too old for that’ ‘got better things to do’ ‘what Again?!’ Why? What is wrong in searching for learning and even more learning? Do they think that school is all the learning that one should do in life? That once one is done with that one can move on to other things? Oh my goodness, with a big wide world such as ours and with life containing a huge stock pile of experiences, knowledge, facts, adventure, mystery, wonder, diversity, and even more--- wouldn’t it be exciting to get to know all that? Yet my mother would say with a funny smile on her face ‘honey, we would need several lifetimes to hold everything there is to know and learn… and we only got one.’ But with a twinkle in her eye she’d tell me ‘who’s stopping you from trying?’

I got my cue from that, so I say don’t stop learning or wanting to. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a waste of time. Truth is they are wasting their precious time sitting on their butts unwilling to let go of their comfort zones. So what I’m saying is get on with it --- Gather new information into your learning barn; pile up new recipes-new ideas-new discoveries-new adventures… Learn how to do things you’ve never tried before. Read on new subjects which you never laid your hands on before. Pursue new passions. Learn to ride a bike or a car if you’ve never done so ever. Just don’t stop learning. And please – no excuses. Life is too short to make any. I’m sure that you’ve heard that line before. Well, hear it and write it in your heart.

Okay, have to go now. Am trying out how to put in videos unto my blog.

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."
-- Henry Ford

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 5

I have learned that the search for success or value are two different roads.

What is a person of success? Is he one with dozens of plaques of recognition lined up on his shelf, numerous titles to his name, a huge fortune in the bank, or a string of achievements making the headlines in the papers every month? Does he drive a Rolls Royce and own dozens more, has several homes in other countries, is surrounded by a bevy of beauties everywhere he goes, and a wife who heads every charitable institution in town decked out in her diamonds and haute couture clothes?

What is a person of value? This I know. He respects the individual and acknowledges the right of every living thing to co-exist, believes in the basic goodness of man regardless of how he may have made an asshole of himself, believes in hope – progress – change – honor - justice - faith - innate abilities and potential, pursues right, defends truth, wishes good for all people and the world and puts in his two-cents worth to make it happen, has the ability to see through deceit–pretense–sadness–fear–hopelessness–greed… and understands that everything has its reason for being but that we have a choice to seek out the good and reject anything that would and could work to harm it.

A tall order you say? --Maybe and because some say that it would run contrary to a man’s human nature of self-preservation and self-pampering. Yes it would, it will but I will stake my bottom dollar on this idea that value far outweighs success. Because I think success will and can’t always buy you value where it counts, but value can ultimately and definitely lead you to success --- the kind which truly matters in life!

"Try not to become a person of success, but rather to become a person of value." - Albert Einstein

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 4

I have learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

Okay so that person has hurt you or robbed you of what you think is rightfully yours. If I told you that that does not count, it does not count for a reason to strike back at the other person – that wanting to get even may hurt him yes and which will make you in turn very happy bout it too yes again. But truth of the matter is – you’re the one who’ll be hurting most by it. Why? --Because you are making yourself quite open or vulnerable for a counter-strike again and again. You are giving him permission to hurt you repeatedly because apparently he won’t just sit there taking your punches too but will punch you right back in – cause he is the type who would. And you know what, in always thinking about your rage it would only serve to enrage you some more. That’s even hurting you more than you ever know. Your own rage will destroy you. So you see the other guy is winning over you without even trying hard enough.

But think about this --- can he be so sure that what he has stolen from you is the thing for him that it would work well for him too? You see, wanting something just because it looks good on the other person does not guarantee that the same thing would look good or will work well for you too. Nope, that’s not how it works. One man’s medicine may be poison for another.

So what to do? Well, leave! Your leaving will douse cold water over his fiery temper and greed. How can he be continually angry too when there’s nobody around to be angry with or at? There’s nobody or nothing that would add coal to the fire in the furnace…his furnace.

And what have you lost? If you seriously think about it, not much really because you can always get it back into your life again just the way you are. That's how you have succeeded in the first place.

Now it can be told

http://xtineslife.blogs.friendster.com/lifes_lemonade/2008/02/we_will_miss_yo.html


I didn't want to have this in my blog because of the pain it caused. But I think it is time to face up to that pain again -- maybe this time it won't hurt so much anymore. So here is the story as told by my second daughter Christine in her Friendster blog. I couldn't have done it any better. Their father passed away last December 9, 2007 after a bout of severe complications caused by his diabetes. The picture above was him -- in his last visit to his parents grave last year in November. He was buried beside them, December 14 same year.


Many dreams have been dashed to the ground, many hopes disintegrated in the air ---- leaving behind an empty space.. a void.. which no one nor nothing can ever fill. If there is one thing which my family and I have learned --- it is this:

THAT GOD is truly a Magnificent God. When He says that I shall not leave you, you bet your bottom dollar that He won't. When He says that I will move mountains and seas for you, trust that He will. When He says that it will be according to your faith when you believe, He proves it true. When He says that 'I shall carry your burdens', He does!

So don't be too hard on yourself - don't make things so much harder for yourself than they truly are. Help - love - life - joy - provision - miracles .... are simply just a prayer away -- even a small whispered prayer. God is listening 24/7 -- no jammed lines, no messed up connections, no missed calls. No false hopes or promises either. He is trustworthy dependable and reliable.

Just believe.