WALKING THROUGH MY TEARS WITH MY BEST FRIEND

This is a good piece; says it all. There are many ways to unburden ourselves of our fears or demons so to speak. One as mentioned here is to share with a close friend. And I agree. Also, there is private journal writing... and too Prayer. I resort to all three... with attention to the right place, time, person, and the weight of concern or issue at hand.

I have my close friends here, Lody particularly who knows all my cares and woes, joys and happiness. I appreciate her for standing by me through it all. As I do the same for her.

Friends I hold so dear to me. Every friendship through the years is valued and treasured. Truly they are my gold. But as life always would, some of them have gone and those who have remained are called to other directions in life thus severing the ties thru no fault of anyone. New ones have replaced them, true. But I do know that people come and go in our lives - not one meant to stay forever. Of such is life. Sadly.

So on most occasions I would rather pour out my heart in prayer. God is always there, will never leave me, and can work miracles which no human hands can do. In prayer, I find my peace... my burdens become light... my tears and fears washed away with His hand. Prayer is my help -- God my bestest friend. :-)
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To quote:

Plunging Into The Deep
Life Can Be Scary

Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who enjoy unexpected thrills, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us. At these moments, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all get scared.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet. We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is sick, or we may be scared of never finding someone special to spend our life with. We may be scared to start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid.

It may be comforting to know that everyone gets scared, and it is perfectly OK. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better. And while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times. Giving ourselves permission to be scared lets us move through our fears so we can let it go. It also makes it alright to share our fears with others. Sharing our apprehensions with other people can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions. Sharing our fears also can lighten our burden because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves. Remember that you are not alone.

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NOTE:
This was forwarded to me in email by a good friend today. Its author unknown. Have highlighted my favorite lines.

WHAT'S A SUNDIAL IN THE SHADE

Never think that you can't. Just because you see somebody shining brilliantly in what he does, it does not mean that you can't do just as well if not better with your own. Maybe the problem is - you haven't given it a big try. I say Big because there are admittedly small tries, feeble tries, fearful tries, and indifferent tries. What you get depends on how much you put in. Make that your first and only rule.

Humility is good. But again there is false humility, misplaced humility, fake humility, and proud humility. The genuine kind is one that honestly knows his own capacity for greatness alongside his limitations. But the latter does not worry him at all because he understands that it is not his inadequacies which define him as a person but his strength to be the best of what he can be and with this do the good he wants to see in the world.

Ordinary maybe but sometimes there lies within a miracle waiting to be born. A miracle when someone does an ordinary thing extraordinarily. And the world applauds. Never underestimate ordinary -- within its cover is potential.

So then.....

"Hide not your talents, they for use were made.
What's a sun dial in the shade?"
-- Benjamin Franklin

YOUR SMALL CAN MEAN THE WORLD TO ANOTHER

Our world is a hurting world - its people hurting suffering struggling with so many demons real or imagined. That's us. Oh yes, we try to be strong and brave -- most times succeeding. But at the end of the day in the middle of the night, we cringe under our sheets in our cold beds fearful of the coming dawn.. afraid for what it can do to hurt us again and again.

Scary but real. We all have to wrestle with a myriad of troubles, issues, and challenges, none exempted. We have our troubles and it comes as diverse as pebbles of sand. Some of us have it in manageable terms while others simply cruise down the bumps with undeniable ease. A good number battle it out with fangs and claws as would a female tiger when her brood is imperiled by an enemy. As some others more would simply sulk away lost and defeated. Problems are like huge great weights resting on our small frail shoulders and can easily crush us forlorn and defeated down to the ground.

At this broken point we desperately look out and up from our troubles for something or someone to take our hand and help us up on our feet again. Lucky if some permanent answers would come along with it thus ending our misery and we get to move on with smiles restored on our faces.

If you know someone like that.. right there where you are, give your hand and help him up. When a friend knocks at your door carrying his cross, let him in and give him rest from his burden. When a colleague comes to your desk with eyes close to tears, drop what you're doing and listen. When you see your mother quietly sitting in a corner forlornly, go to her and give her reason to smile. When your child comes to you with a broken toy in the middle of your reports, hug your child and fix that toy. When the maid asks for a leave to run to her ailing parent, grant it without any moment's hesitation or rebuke. When someone in your neighborhood comes to you for a small loan to buy medicines for her sick child, give even if that money was supposed to be for a nice dress you saw at the mall yesterday.

Small things - yes. But you'll never know how much it means to that person.

Someone kind and gentle said this....

"The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay."

CALM SPIRIT

Have you had this kind of day when everything seems to turn upside down, when every nook and cranny of your day spells doom and gloom? Oh maybe that’s an exaggeration but it does happen. I know because I have had that kind of day or days when nothing seems to work and anything that I try to do falls flat on my face. And I rush here and there frantic to find a solution. It’s crazy. It gets me huffin’ and puffin’ like the big bad wolf in that nursery rhyme but the problems just won’t go away. So it leaves me with frazzled nerves and holding a bucketful of odds and ends that don’t fit. And then I lose my composure, my calm, my peace.

So where do I go from there?

Slow down. That’s what Mom would always tell me. “Slow down, child. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.” But I paid no attention. I never really appreciated what that meant. Because I saw slowing down as a big waste on my time. So I plodded on with my usual so-called brilliant maneuvers to sort things out. Don’t we always smugly think that we have all the answers?!! Yet it didn’t work out, things just got more messed up in the rush and flurry maze I got myself into.

That afternoon sitting at my desk I felt the world tumble down on me, felt like everything I did suddenly were falling apart or have already. I pushed my chair away from the desk angry at myself, stood up and walked to the window. Nope, I didn’t find any answers there – not in an empty lifeless street, not on that old man idly standing on the corner seemingly enjoying his cigarette, not on that street dog lazily curled up sleeping on the sidewalk content and uncaring, not in the boring sky with an equally boring spread of boringly white clouds above. In fact, the scene before me seemed to have been frozen in time – no movement, no action, just very still.

Slow down, Mom said.

That empty lifeless street in a few minutes will come alive with people and vehicles passing to and fro going about their day’s usual business. That old man after finishing off his cigarette will probably head back home and carry on with his tasks as father and grandfather of the house. That lazy street dog when he wakes up will resume his barking at anything that catches his fancy or threatens his turf. And that boring sky will change from sunny to gray, from sunrise to sunset and will move all of life along with it.

But they all stood briefly for one moment to simply slow down.

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." --Saint Francis de Sales

WE CHANGE IN LAYERS - UNEVENLY

At the mall one fine afternoon, I came across my childhood friend who I hadn’t seen for quite a long time. He was quick to recognize me and did it with a rousing bear hug ...

“Heyyy, pumpkin, great to see you!!” Ugh! He still calls me that. Seeing my grimace he laughed “Yeah pumpkin!!" and laughed so loud apparently enjoying my embarrassment. "Btw, meet my wife, Liza”.

I shrieked with surprise and delight when I saw her as she came walking towards us – Liza, my pal in school! We were buddies in our last year.

“So this is why you hadn’t been in touch all these years!” I giggled. She laughed heartily showing her familiar dimples. “We moved to San Francisco after the wedding. I didn’t know where to write you then because you were nowhere to be found, silly!”

I grimaced “Yeah, I got busy with a job in the big city.. and lots of things. Ugh! Tell you all about it.”

We then moved to a coffee shop nearby and continued with our endless chatter and updates. Time flew until Martin reluctantly and halfheartedly broke off the chat and reminded Liza that they had yet to shop for a birthday gift for his mom. So we parted ways but agreed to meet for dinner at their place the following week.

Looking at them as they walked to the parking lot, I felt a sudden twinge of sadness. They have remained the same, true; and yet have changed too in some. I remembered something I have read before —

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension; and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm; childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

That quote brought me to this new understanding. Truly, we change unevenly, partially, in layers. We may be brilliant to one and childish to another person all in the same breath. We may be the cherished pumpkin of the past and yet also the modern career person of the present. A friend may tell me that I have changed in my perceptions about love and money. While another friend would tell me that I am still the homespun girl he always had known me to be. And all true for I have indeed changed from some old held viewpoints of long ago but have too retained and treasured the same homespun values my mother had taught me in my growing up years. On that thought, I realized that we don’t really leave the past behind even if change moves us along in time. We take it with us to the present and on to the future. This is what people see in us mixed and mingled as change does its work in bits, portions, areas, and layers of ourselves.

So as I stood there watching Martin and Liza pull away in their Chevy, I smiled to myself and bid goodbye to the sadness felt earlier. Nothing has been lost after all. More mature and changed in some ways as they appear to be now, still Martin and Liza carry with them the traces of good old friendships of long ago. We stand connected despite change. Amazing and beautiful, isn’t it?

PROMISE NOT - IF YOU CAN'T

A promise, they say, is a word or words offered another person which contains a pledge to do something at an appointed time regardless. Promise! I remember an uncle say that when someone promises something to him – correspondingly he pours out to that person a bag of expectations, anticipation, trust, hope, and zeal. A promise he pointed out is a guarantee, an assurance, or a pledge of truth and stands on one’s integrity and honor. Well, don’t we actually lean heavily on such things in our day-to-day lives? Isn’t it part of a two-way human communication traffic built on a desire to keep things moving along? Thus we promise loosely, tightly, falsely, or truthfully just to get things done or undone. Don’t we?

Promising to come back on Tuesday to return the book you borrowed as you know how important it is to its owner to have it back -- and doing it, reflects your concern and thoughtful consideration towards your friend - a sentiment coming from the heart. But on the other hand, your brain may sometimes tell you differently, that …

--you can do it another day as you’re very busy (just when are you ever not busy?!)

--and that it won’t be missed anyway (are you sure of that every time you delay or put it off?)

--or say to yourself that your friend would understand it if you delay (stretching it again for the __nth time?).

Let’s go over a life scenario or two, real ones (names changed).

“Billy, we’ll go to the carnival on Saturday night…..and ride on your favorite carousel for as long as you want.” ------- a beaming father tells his 5-yr-old kid whose eyes sparkled with glee over the prospect of getting on his favorite carnival ride. Come the promised day, the father stayed at the office till 11pm on overtime work. He forgot about his promise. Do you think that it crossed his mind at all while working at his desk that his child was waiting back home expectant and trusting over a promised ride? Can you imagine the fragile thoughts and feelings of a little child who must have hoped so hard for that promised thrill only to have it crushed just like that?

“Darling, I’ll be away for only a year to work there and save up for our wedding. When I return, you’ll be my Mrs. Jose Rivas.”….… He sweetly promised as he gently wiped away the tears from his sweetheart’s eyes. A year and several months after, a relative who flew in from that same country told her that he was living with a girl with whom he has a son. Distraught and stunned she cried her heart out locked in her own room. The following morning they saw her lifeless body on the bedroom floor with a locket clasped in her cold hand. Inscribed inside were the words ‘Love Forever’, signed Jose.

So tragic how empty or careless promises can shatter a heart or snuff out precious life. A dear close friend once told me this, referring to her suitor --- “I don’t really care what he says, he can promise or not promise the entire world to me; but what he DOES or WON’T DO --- will tell me all I need to know ‘bout him.”

That brings to mind another of my dear uncle’s wise sayings -----

IT IS NOT WHAT YOU PROMISE -- BUT WHAT YOU DO THAT COUNTS.

BELIEVE

What am I saying, am having enough problems believing that myself. It's hardest when the chips are down or when future prospects seem bleak or when doomsayers say that our world is wildly spinning round and close to tottering out of control.

But you know what... I must believe or I will simply go nuts with this wild crazy world of ours. I must believe that there is hope, courage, faith, goodness, compassion, fair play, honesty, love, truth, trust, kindness, integrity, talent, professionalism, justice, and ... believe that people everywhere do really care about our world - mother nature - and of each another.

I will -- believe. Even if prices go skyrocketing high pushed by greed and materialism, I will believe that good people out there will band together and lend their voices to reason and right. Even if justice is misused and mismanaged, I will believe that the rule of law will catch up sooner or later. Even if wrongdoing, cheaters, power, wealth, beauty and fame are idolized out of proportion, I will believe that not everybody adheres to that point of view. Even if politicians manipulate the ignorance and poverty of the small man of the streets, I will believe that a hero will rise and champion the poor and underpriviledged. Even if they say that the good won't survive our world, I will believe that the good will prevail no matter the obstacles placed in its way. Even if friends tell me that I am wasting my time being nice cos people are generally bad, I will believe that people deep inside are basically and truly good. Even if we have our differences, I will believe that we can always find a common ground. Even if my dreams are frustrated and shattered now, I will believe that I can dream again another time. Even if they tell me that I can't be this or that nor do this or that, I will believe that I can be anything I want to be and that everybody has talent and potential. Even if they say that there is no God, I will believe that He is there or better yet right here in my heart.

And even if our world looks bleak and dreary and that the year that passed staggered heavily weighed down by so many troubles... I will believe that this NEW YEAR could be better because many do still care enough to make it better.

A HAPPY PROSPEROUS AND BLESSED NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!