Friday, January 8, 2010


At the mall one fine afternoon, I came across my childhood friend who I hadn’t seen for quite a long time. He was quick to recognize me and did it with a rousing bear hug ...

“Heyyy, pumpkin, great to see you!!” Ugh! He still calls me that. Seeing my grimace he laughed “Yeah pumpkin!!" and laughed so loud apparently enjoying my embarrassment. "Btw, meet my wife, Liza”.

I shrieked with surprise and delight when I saw her as she came walking towards us – Liza, my pal in school! We were buddies in our last year.

“So this is why you hadn’t been in touch all these years!”
I giggled. She laughed heartily showing her familiar dimples. “We moved to San Francisco after the wedding. I didn’t know where to write you then because you were nowhere to be found, silly!”

I grimaced
“Yeah, I got busy with a job in the big city.. and lots of things. Ugh! Tell you all about it.”

We then moved to a coffee shop nearby and continued with our endless chatter and updates. Time flew until Martin reluctantly and halfheartedly broke off the chat and reminded Liza that they had yet to shop for a birthday gift for his mom. So we parted ways but agreed to meet for dinner at their place the following week.

Looking at them as they walked to the parking lot, I felt a sudden twinge of sadness. They have remained the same, true; and yet have changed too in some. I remembered something I have read before —

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension; and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm; childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

That quote brought me to this new understanding. Truly, we change unevenly, partially, in layers. We may be brilliant to one and childish to another person all in the same breath. We may be the cherished pumpkin of the past and yet also the modern career person of the present. A friend may tell me that I have changed in my perceptions about love and money. While another friend would tell me that I am still the homespun girl he always had known me to be. And all true for I have indeed changed from some old held viewpoints of long ago but have too retained and treasured the same homespun values my mother had taught me in my growing up years. On that thought, I realized that we don’t really leave the past behind even if change moves us along in time. We take it with us to the present and on to the future. This is what people see in us mixed and mingled as change does its work in bits, portions, areas, and layers of ourselves.

So as I stood there watching Martin and Liza pull away in their Chevy, I smiled to myself and bid goodbye to the sadness felt earlier. Nothing has been lost after all. More mature and changed in some ways as they appear to be now, still Martin and Liza carry with them the traces of good old friendships of long ago. We stand connected despite change. Amazing and beautiful, isn’t it?


  1. Hello Ellen;

    It's been a long, long while that i visited many things that quite hindered me...and t'was a holiday the past couple of weeks...with all the kids around for the holiday break...

    i post blogs but seldom go bloghopping..hope you will forgive me with this and you know, it's somewhat a trying times for me the past couple of weeks and hope i could go over it.

    this is an enlightening post from you...thanks so much!



  2. Yup amazing and beautiful indeed:) friendship fills us up with life, when we meet our friends its like life is there to have a rejuvinating session with us...memories thrive on our emotions and give us a shine so wonderful that anyone can look at us and see...went to see a friend ;) Have loads and loads of fun whenever you plan to meet them next, may the fun filled environment fill you up with loads of happiness, peace and contentment!

  3. Hi Amity,

    First of all, you owe me no apology. You do no wrong if you simply heed the call of life as it takes you into other directions or concerns. Life, as a hard taskmaster, does that to us mortals and we can do no less but obey and make the most of what is heaped on our laps.

    Trying times befall everyone, so you're not alone. I have my share here at my end too. You'd think that the new year erases everything in the past giving us a clean slate to start the year with.. but it's not the case. Unresolved issues and life lessons unlearned will be carried over to the new year and the next and the next... until we give them the right solutions or ... paid heed to those lessons we should be learning.

    But we are made of sturdier stuff, more than we give ourselves credit for. Plus hope and faith springs eternal, remember that line? :-)

    Keep the faith and nurture that hope in the heart.. because you will overcome your trying times. With God by your side, how can you ever lose?! :-)

    Thank you for taking time to drop by. Missed you, dear friend. Blessings to you and your loved ones.

  4. Hi Sana,

    Oh yes indeed --- ".. :) friendship fills us up with life, when we meet our friends its like life is there to have a rejuvinating session with us..." -- And I do look forward to my next meeting with the two. Lots to catch up on Lols!

    Thanks for this lovely visit. Always a pleasure to see you. Wishing blessings to you, your dear family, and friends. :-)

  5. Though the post dealt with an unexpected meeting with a friend along with finding a classmate and buddy as is wife.But luckily for readers it carried a wonderful message that as we grow up we do not change uniformly inall our values,perceptions and even our flaws.For many the basic qualities remain unchangeddespite th change in circumstances.But we also find abrupt and enduring changes in personalities, notably in saintly personages wih an ordinay background transformed to nobler spirits.Thanks Ellen

  6. Nice to see you, KP. :-) Hope you're having a pleasant weekend. Thank you for the lovely visit and for your message. It's appreciated much. Take care and God bless.

  7. Yes, I think I have changed in many ways and remained the same in many others. You are right the real changes are below the surface as they are slow and unobtrusive so they go unnoticed. It's nice to meet old friends sometimes.

  8. Hi Indra,

    Rightly said -- " ..the real changes are below the surface as they are slow and unobtrusive so they go unnoticed."

    It's always a pleasure to see your insights on every blog here. I enjoy reading every comment that you write. :-) God bless you, and see you around.


:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!