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It's been days since my last post, right? Been busy with day to day stuff. Would have gone on that way indefinitely if a friend and former colleague at work hadn't called up. It was a simple Hi-and-Hello sort of thing. We talked about the good ole' days at work; shared memories on that. Then the chat moved to the present time and she talked about family and children. Without meaning to, the chat changed tone a bit. She seemed sad talking about her children now all grown-up. I didn't pry but just let her talk her heart out. It seemed like she needed to vent out things; maybe just wanted a listening ear.
To cut a long story short, I'm bringing back an interesting article shared here a few years ago. It was written by Nicky Hamid. Maybe this will shed light into a particular concern which parents, particularly mothers, commonly have difficulty dealing with. Well, maybe not all perhaps but many.
Here's the piece.....
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To quote:
YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN
Your children’s path is their own to walk, not yours. And no matter how hard you try you cannot go there. If you choose to tie your happiness to your children's behavior you are destined for continuous disappointment. It has not been easy for any of us to really get it, that loving unconditionally means giving up emotional attachment to another. Giving up completely the idea that in any way your own happiness is dependent on anyone else.
This does not mean you cut yourself off. It actually means you become more connected because you are far more in tune with yourself and the needs of the moment.
Your children are not your children. They belong to life and are their own sovereign beings. And when you stop playing the painful game of "Rescue" they might have less to contend with, one thing of which is their resentment of your interference.
Hold your vision and knowing of who they truly are (remember they came from God and you saw that clearly in their eyes when they were very young) and let them go in your own mind and emotions. Love them as totally as you have always done but set them free.
This is not being uncaring for you know that you are not. Make peace with your own childhood and nurture more the childlike qualities that reside within yourself, eg. Play more.
And who is the expert? There is no “perfect” parent. Each of us does our best ..... and our children are our best teachers. They are actually, perhaps unknowingly, confronting you with reflections about how you can take your own freedom and joy further.
Happiness is a choice. If you can choose your own happiness first then you lay the best foundation for your children, because you will be presenting an “open door” that they will remember always and where they can step into their own happiness when they so choose.
Shine On
I So Love You
~ Nicky Hamid
Unquote
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Here's what Mom would always tell me...... "Parents are simply the stewards .. (one who manages or looks after another) .. of their children. They belong to God. Don't forget that." -
Here's something we also should remember.... "Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old." Right?
Blessings to you, your parents, and your children. In Christ.
It's been days since my last post, right? Been busy with day to day stuff. Would have gone on that way indefinitely if a friend and former colleague at work hadn't called up. It was a simple Hi-and-Hello sort of thing. We talked about the good ole' days at work; shared memories on that. Then the chat moved to the present time and she talked about family and children. Without meaning to, the chat changed tone a bit. She seemed sad talking about her children now all grown-up. I didn't pry but just let her talk her heart out. It seemed like she needed to vent out things; maybe just wanted a listening ear.
To cut a long story short, I'm bringing back an interesting article shared here a few years ago. It was written by Nicky Hamid. Maybe this will shed light into a particular concern which parents, particularly mothers, commonly have difficulty dealing with. Well, maybe not all perhaps but many.
Here's the piece.....
--------------------------
To quote:
YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN
Your children’s path is their own to walk, not yours. And no matter how hard you try you cannot go there. If you choose to tie your happiness to your children's behavior you are destined for continuous disappointment. It has not been easy for any of us to really get it, that loving unconditionally means giving up emotional attachment to another. Giving up completely the idea that in any way your own happiness is dependent on anyone else.
This does not mean you cut yourself off. It actually means you become more connected because you are far more in tune with yourself and the needs of the moment.
Your children are not your children. They belong to life and are their own sovereign beings. And when you stop playing the painful game of "Rescue" they might have less to contend with, one thing of which is their resentment of your interference.
Hold your vision and knowing of who they truly are (remember they came from God and you saw that clearly in their eyes when they were very young) and let them go in your own mind and emotions. Love them as totally as you have always done but set them free.
This is not being uncaring for you know that you are not. Make peace with your own childhood and nurture more the childlike qualities that reside within yourself, eg. Play more.
And who is the expert? There is no “perfect” parent. Each of us does our best ..... and our children are our best teachers. They are actually, perhaps unknowingly, confronting you with reflections about how you can take your own freedom and joy further.
Happiness is a choice. If you can choose your own happiness first then you lay the best foundation for your children, because you will be presenting an “open door” that they will remember always and where they can step into their own happiness when they so choose.
Shine On
I So Love You
~ Nicky Hamid
Unquote
-----------------------
Here's what Mom would always tell me...... "Parents are simply the stewards .. (one who manages or looks after another) .. of their children. They belong to God. Don't forget that." -
Here's something we also should remember.... "Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old." Right?
Blessings to you, your parents, and your children. In Christ.
