This is an old post but I'm resurrecting it here for a dear old friend who I think needs to see this. Hey girl, I know how you feel. I'm no stranger to loneliness, too. Read and let your heart see what I mean.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE. IT'S A PRECIOUS GIFT, TOO.
It’s not all the time that I want company, or listen to the noise of endless banter, or watch the chaotic human parade of other people’s lives. It’s vexing to the mind, is wearying to the heart, and tires the soul down. It leads to confusion and troubling vibrations in the air turning my world upside down. It’s startling how all these can touch your own sphere of life and leave you so drained by it all.
Sometimes … I simply want to be alone. To be there in the my-own-moment just being - To feel the soft breeze on my face – To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin – To hear birds chirping on the trees – To feel the waters under my feet walking by the seashore – To touch the petal of a flower – To watch the sun go down on the horizon – To let the rain touch my skin – To write my dreams on clouds of flight – To be still - To hear my heartbeat.
I remember being that little child in prayer on God’s lap long long ago telling Him -------- 'bout Pete and Jana being mean to me in school -------- asked Him to make Bobby the bully a good boy na so that he won’t bother me again when I walk by his house -------- tell mom and dad to stay home and not leave for the office because it makes me cry -------- tell Santa how bad I felt when he didn’t give me a puppy for Christmas -------- asked Him to make grandpa well again so that we could play -------- thanked Him for letting Mom cook my favorite spaghetti with huge meatballs every Saturday (and getting an extra meatball everytime!!).
And now that I'm older I ask Him to stop sending me problems because it makes me lose sleep many nights. But of course you can't tell Him what to do. We know that. But I have learned this well enough that talking with Him honestly sincerely humbly takes me easier to that feel-good-moment I so seek.
Also being alone is simply wanting to BE – with my flaws, mistakes, imperfections – seeing how fragile and vulnerable I truly am – looking at my limitations, my borders, my walls – and yet understanding that I too have my own strengths, potential, and the power to dream. That everything there, good or bad, has shaped who I am. That all that I was, is, and will be is the story of my life.
I simply want to be with my thoughts sometimes – thinking of the past and the things it has left me with – thinking of the present and how it’s forming my tomorrows – wondering what my tomorrows will be like or when I will be finally gone.
Sometimes all I ever want is to be simply here – with nothing – doing nothing – yet loving everything.
Here's a quote that's closest to my heart......
"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” ----- Pearl Buck (1892 – 1973)
Learn to treasure your alone moments. Be a friend to yourself. Do not be afraid to be alone. It's a precious gift, too!