HAVE YOU TRULY FULFILLED YOUR MAIN PURPOSE IN LIFE

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'Twas the time of day when time seemed to stand still. Some people may try taking a nap to ease the sluggish hours away through sleep. Others watch something on TV. Still others would raid the cupboard for a huge snack to munch on. I wouldn't hesitate to do any one or the other but this time I decided to cruise down the internet, not sure what to look for, but just coast along hoping that I hit the jackpot of catching a worthy item to read or learn from.
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And this caught my eye......... an excerpt from Pastor Jason's blog post. (a blog I stumbled upon). To quote:
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"Fulfill God’s Purpose for You in Your Generation: ---- I love what the New Testament says of King David, “Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep.” (Acts 13:36) .
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What part of God’s purposes are you called to fulfill in this generation?
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God made you like no one else, to do something no one else can do. Never underestimate the importance of your life. If you were unnecessary, you would not have been born. Discover and fulfill God’s purpose for your life, and your legacy will be fulfilled!"
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Unquote.
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That is a good question, isn't it? Have you ever thought about that?
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Allow me to share my thoughts.

I believe ...Man does not think about that at all.... well, not until he is old or older. Let's be honest with ourselves, when we were young all that really mattered to us was making it big in this life i.e. a good position in a well-paying job..... a bright career and profession..... a great marriage..... a big house, flashy cars and all the trappings of wealth..... being popular in the social world..... being famous..... receiving dozens of titles or recognition..... making a name for ourselves..... fulfilling our goals and dreams, and etc. It was all and everything about  "I" .. "Me" .. "My" .. and .. "Mine".
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And we all get to have it in different measure, package, and level or degree. True. And we're happy. Satisfied. Sated. Content.
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Then Father Time begins ticking loudly. So loud that it bothers even our sleep. Father Time seems to be in so much a hurry, we now notice. We're growing older.
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Then all that is left for us now are just memories. And........
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this question............. "Have you truly fulfilled your main purpose in life?" To some this question may come early and then to others quite late. But definitely there must or should be an answer to the question.
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Because it matters. By God's design.
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Blessings to you and yours, dear friends. God bless you.

LIFE CANNOT BE LIFE WITHOUT PEOPLE IN IT

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I was on my way down the hill at the tail-end of my morning walk when this silver-haired gentleman-foreigner heading my way from the opposite direction on seeing me slowed down and greeted me with a huge smile and a question... "How many times do you go round the neighborhood?" I replied "Twice, most times." To this he smiled even more and said.. "Good for you!" And walked past me still wearing his big wide smile..
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Apparently he too was doing his usual morning routine. And so were other Filipino residents of the neighborhood at that early hour. But one thing looks quite clear to me.... Filipinos are shy .. in fact, just too shy to jump at the opportunity to make friends or simply share the good vibes of the moment with someone. They hold back too much that the golden opportunity flies by swiftly and becomes lost forever.
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I remember Mom said this long ago....... "The art of giving and receiving does not come naturally to many. But it can be learned. Start with loving yourself, life and everything in it."
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Life without people would be similar to a landscape of meadows, mountains, rivers, forests running endlessly beyond the horizon and even farther. Magnificent but somehow incomplete. Full yet empty.
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People, on the other hand, bring into life those thousand-and-one things which make it come pulsatingly alive. Challenges... perceptions... insights.... excitement... adventure... joy and happiness... creativity... productivity... emotional diversity... development... growth, etc. Add to the same pot the worrisome and wearying disputes... arguments... sorrows... questions... destruction.... conflicts... negativity... and other things more which make you want to bang your head on the wall. These things happen between man and man interacting and colliding in a manner they alone best know how. We can include what happens between man and nature interacting and colliding too.
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Life cannot be life without people in it. Truly by God's design.
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Wishing for you and your family God's blessings beyond measure.

A COMFORT ZONE IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE BUT NOTHING EVER GROWS THERE

 

 

 

 

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Most of us don't really warm up to any kind of change.. even if it were for our better good. We much prefer to stay where we are most comfortable and familiar. Our comfort zones. We tend to shy away from the unknown, from perceived danger, from taking risks, from failing, from being hurt, from strange new faces, places, and experiences, from anything which would make us leave the safety and comfort of our box. That's right we have placed ourselves inside a box, huge or tiny, where we live.. love.. work.. play.. and die. We tell ourselves that we are happy in it but down there in our hearts we know that we're missing something. Admit it.. we long for something still.
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This void lingers persists but which sadly we seem to be ignoring.
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Then a friend comes along and tells us wonderful stories of how beautiful the world is out there... about the awesome adventures he had... the interesting people he met... the amazing opportunities which led him to better his life... the many battles he fought and yet won with strength he thought wasn't there... and finally admitting that he didn't know that he was missing so much until he took that first brave step and stepped out the door of his comfort zone... at last setting himself free! Free to be the person he longed to be and was meant to be.
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Yet we tell ourselves that it's something which happens only to special people. People who are brighter.. braver.. smarter.. talented.. and made out for success. But wait! Are we not special people, too? We each have our talents and abilities, the same things which enabled us to do what we do inside our comfort zones.
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Perhaps... maybe... all that is needed is for us to expand or stretch our horizons far beyond the four walls of our familiar lives. To nudge ourselves to become better than the persons we were yesterday. We can do that-it's possible; others have done it before us.
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But that can only come when we agree to change...  from small to bigger -- from ordinary to extraordinary -- from average to exceptional -- from blah-blah to exciting -- from fearful to freehearted. And finally one day when we have learned to use our God-given talents wisely we become the persons He designed or meant us to be. 
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Nope, this isn't empty talk. This is what we were designed to be, truly ... People of joy, heart, courage, strength, hope, success, and faith. The potential is already there. Just step up and out. Claim what belongs to you.
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Blessings, everyone! Make life matter and moments count.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN DO UNTIL YOU STAND UP AND TRY

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Was changing channels with no idea what I wanted to watch when I stumbled on "Dave". It was running half through the movie at that point. I know because I have seen it for the ___th time having a CD on file somewhere. It was at this scene when President Dave spoke the lines......
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"You'll never know how much you can do until you stand up and try."
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I like that. It should be our battle cry in life.
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We're not junk. God does not make junk. Everything that we need is given us in terms of talent... opportunities... our free will... and life. We're programmed for success. Believe it or not... we are!
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The thing is ....our perceptions of self-worth are so screwed up. Just when did being beautiful, thin-tall-white skinned, being well-connected, having more money, having an expensive car, living in a luxurious mansion, being in a circle of wealthy friends, knowing somebody powerful in high government be the benchmark of success?
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Well, those things have their uses, too, but they don't guarantee success and happiness where it matters most. It matters most when you can look everybody in the eye and say..... this is ME .... imperfect but definitely unique and one of a kind.
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Being me means that you can be anything you want to be and do anything you want to do with who you are and what you have to help better you, your tiny part of the world, or of the bigger world outside. You may not achieve the big successes by the world's standard in your life time but .....you can be the success that which you are to yourself since day one of creation.
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It is what you think of yourself.... or what you actually do.... which truly defines your life on earth. And there is no benchmark to work with. You are your own benchmark. You compete with yourself. You travel at your own pace... at your own time... with your own set of talent.
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And God who sees everything makes sure that you get the corresponding complement of tools that you may be needing to help you along. But you have also to remember to ask Him for those or if you feel that you need more help. Do what you have to do while putting your faith and hope on a God who truly wants you to be happy and successful.
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Further, you can't achieve anything just sitting there on the fence trying to figure out how the universe operates. That's not the way it goes.
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Understanding that, you then can move along confidently to being the big success you were truly meant to be. You will 'soar like wings on eagles' and 'not grow weary or be faint'. By God's design.
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Don't settle for less. There's so much you can do.
Blessings, everyone.

 

 

 

GOOD MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD - NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

 

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... When a fireman plunges into a flaming building despite its dangers and saves a person.... when a miserable dog is rescued from its cruel owners by a stranger unmindful of the risk of harm to himself.... when persons, friend and strangers alike, persevere in saving lives in the great flood regardless of the danger it poses to their own.... and many other unselfish acts done by amazing people --- one can't help but be downright touched and immeasurably impressed by such show of courage and selflessness.
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When desert flowers thrive despite its dry and harsh environment.... when trees hold up their faces defiantly against the strong stormy winds.... when waters roll down towards the shore and then retreats back to the ocean.... when the sun rises in the morning with its glorious light... and sets quietly at sundown yet promising to return in the morn... when the skies fill up with gentle clouds in the day.... and fill up with brilliant stars at night... when Mother Nature weaves her magic around us reflecting and deflecting both good and bad --- one simply stands in awe over such precision and order.
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Then one begins to think..... and thank
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--- the person or persons who gave of themselves so that others (animals included) may continue to enjoy the gift of life. Thank them for their unselfish sharing of their talent, energies, resources, brilliance of mind, strength of heart, and goodness of spirit.

..and

---the One GOD who sets down all of creation and their limits but weaves them altogether into a magnificent masterpiece.
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But above all, thank this same GOD --- the creator of all things visible and invisible who makes life and people sooooo beautiful!!! Man's basic good is a gift from God. Mother Earth's bounty is God's blessing beyond compare. Everything works together, directly or indirectly BY GOD'S DESIGN.
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Which reminds me of this wonderful line spoken by a good person and friend here in Fb....... "Thank Him always but also give credit to where it is due." Thank you, Maria. Keep shining with your light.
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May the blessings of the Holy Week observance renew your lives and spirit. In Christ. Be blessed and stay blessed.

WHAT'S TO BE SCARED OF

 

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A friend once said that the one thing that we should learn is .. 'to mind our own business'.
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Really? That made me think. You see, there were those times I remember very well when I needed a helping hand... a kind word... some bit of inspiration or encouragement... someone to be there ----  but nobody bothered to be there because they were simply minding their own business like it was the best and proper thing to do - to leave me to my misery. Can you imagine if somebody just forgot about being scared and took that brave step to get in there and ask if I was okay? That would have made the big difference.
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What's to be scared of? Getting involved in other people's lives? That it might make a dent into your resources, time, energy, or take you out of your nice comfort zones? That by giving more of you -- that you become less and less? That you are not good enough or rich enough or influential enough to make a difference?
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But I have learned that the trouble lies in this simple fact that we are too tied up with the self. That after we have slaved ourselves to where we are whatever it is we take pride in, we now consider everything else as a possible threat to that. And that, to our mind, will hurt our tiny world and we don't want that.
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And here comes a cry for help... but we look the other way.
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Mind our own business.  Do you think that it is correct? Of course, we should be respecters of men and women. But it does not have to mean that we isolate ourselves from one another. That's taking it too far.  That's not why we are here.  If I can't count on you.. and ..you can't count on me ---- who will and would??
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No man is an island;  we all stand connected. You feel, I feel;  you hurt, I hurt;  you're happy, I am happy;  you grieve, I grieve. You are no better or lesser than me ... nor  I better or lesser than you.  I am you and you are me.  We keep forgetting that simple truth.  All by God's design.
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So, my dear friend, if perchance you need a prayer - and prayer is what I can give you with all my heart --- let me know!  God bless you.

ALWAYS A SURE FIT

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Went through my old files with the sole intent of ridding it of accumulated 'junk'. What are these, you might ask. It's stuff that when you first saw it consider it essential and then as time goes by you finally realize that it is not. So off it goes to the trash bin.

But I found this gold nugget of wisdom......

"If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor's kids, or kids on TV.

When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way."   --- Doe Zantamata, author-artist-photographer

Oftentimes I hear of people saying they wished they were somebody else..... that they had somebody else's beauty, money, title, position, or fame. That they feel themselves and their lives so unworthy and miserable as compared to those they admired. At a certain point of my struggling youth and years I thought so, too. Everybody else were simply fantastic in their own respective lives except poor ole' me with the challenges life seemed keen on hurling in my direction. Dodging it was out of the question because it had such perfect aim no matter how I tried to duck it. Darn!

Until I found my own groove.... When I began to use my mind more and understood with my heart better. I finally learned.

I was traveling my own road, just as everybody else was traveling his or hers. Each of the roads a sure-fit to the persons traveling it respectively. Each living his own story. There will be good times and bad times in proportion each would require for his joy and too necessary learning. There will be different talents finding expression in many diverse ways.....  fast or slow....  weak or strong.....  big or small....  humble or grand. There will be different challenges as well as different blessings. All these and more will be on everybody's table in the portion or measure each would require --- always a sure fit. Somebody up there is running the whole show.

I learned with appreciation and gratitude for everything that was...  is... and will be.  Recognized and fully understood that both the good and the bad are there to serve a purpose. Separately or together will continually serve to shape me into the person I was meant to be, by God's design. 

"Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way."

So don't ever wish you were somebody else. Because you are just where you are meant to be.....  to learn and learn some more.... and become better, in God's perfect time. While you are at it, enjoy the journey and remember to count your blessings.

WE MAKE A LIVING BY WHAT WE GET -- WE MAKE A LIFE BY WHAT WE GIVE

 

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I'm not done yet with the sorting of books since yesterday. It's a modest collection of books I found interesting through the years, not necessarily best sellers, but stuff which lent me wisdom or insights into life and living. Some of its authors are unknowns and as a good number are famous writers. The books have turned brown on the edges but I don't mind it. They have stayed good friends who have stood the test of time and have stood as silent witness to my dreams.. one of which is to have a book out in my name. Ahh but what is life without dreams!!

Here's a tiny book I found by author Maya Angelou " Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now"..  a pocketbook with just about 139 pages. I would like to share with you these lines (my favorite) lifted from page 15.......  to quote

'............ giving liberates the soul of the giver. The size and substance of the gift should be important to the recipient, and more important, that intangible but very real psychic force of good in the world is increased.

     When we cast our bread upon the waters, we can presume that someone downstream whose face we will never know will benefit from our action, as we who are downstream from another will profit from that grantor's gift.'

--Unquote.

Giving need not necessarily be on a grand or grander scale. It can even mean a tiny act of kindness, the happy thought you cause in another person's life, the comfort you add to another person's painful existence, the encouragement or strength or inspiration you cause to spark in a weary soul... and so much more. Neither does it require applause or need the spotlight on you standing on center-stage. Giving does not require thank you's either.

Giving, one which Maya prefers, is that which comes naturally. It gives without thinking, as a familiar phrase goes. It's giving from where it matters most.... the heart.

A heart that cares can do wonders not just to the people around him but farther down the line and beyond. Its good flows like a happy stream running merrily  through its winding course nourishing every living thing it passes as it continues onwards and out to the sea. It doesn't stop for a hug, appreciation, or someone's thank you. It's happy with its own thought that it's doing someone-something-somewhere some good. And the universe is made even happier with that one unselfish act. How much more happier with many more!! This can create a happier world.

A giving person is content with the idea that it is doing what it is supposed to do. By God's design. And the prayer is to be transformed into that divine design by God's guiding grace.

Wishing you all a pleasant and blessed day.
Keep looking for blessings;  expect it.
God bless you, lovely people.

FOR A BETTER SELF

It's a fine sunny morning and I'm getting more of what I love....  blue skies, green trees, warm sun, and a cool refreshing wind. Thank you!

'Thank you' to WHO or WHOM? Whichever rides well for our Grammar Nazis. But do please carry on; we all got our jobs to do, respectively.

Well, apparently you know who I'm thanking for my lovely day. Not only for the lovely day but for waking me up, feeling good, being in my own home and with my precious family, for food on my table, for clothes on my back, shoes for my feet, and a smiling wallet.... not much in there but enough to make me smile.

There's one other thing I'm also grateful for. 'Life isn't a bed of roses' as an old cliche goes but as I look back now I can honestly say that I'm thankful for the thorns too.

Oh I know that isn't easy. Not easy when you one day find yourself in the midst of a failed relationship, a broken bone, losing someone you love, a misfortune, a broken dream, or just very bad bad people who made life even much more miserable for you.

Now don't use science or intellectualize that pain or suffering. It's not all about  'why me?'  or  'why this?'  because nothing of those will explain it as it was not meant for that in the first place. It's for something bigger... much bigger. By some Supreme Design.

To cut a long story short, as gold is refined through great heat or fire.... so are we. And the point of it all? --- To make us become our better selves. In human history, to get to a point of glory one goes through some conflict, struggle, or strife. That is the same in our ordinary small mundane lives here in our respective tiny little corners of the world. 

Who has not become a --- wiser, more mature, broadminded and understanding, better able to be kind and compassionate towards others, better able to comprehend the complexities of life and people --- after going through an experience of suffering, affliction, misery, conflict, or adversity? Admit it, it opens doors to the mind, heart, and soul. Things you haven't fully understood before is now somehow better understood. Suffering helps us build our character. And that, I believe, is the Supreme Design.

And if perchance that some understanding isn't there yet, well... I hate to say this but God isn't finished with you or me or him or her or them or us... yet.

Still, thank God even through your pain. There's a bigger plan to it. Pray for faith, trust, discernment and understanding.

May the blessings of God be upon you and your families in this Lenten observance and season. God bless you!

 

LIFE IS A PROCESS - TIME IS THERE TO SUPPORT LIFE

 

 

LIFE IS A PROCESS                                      

... and that takes time.

If there is anything which test my patience it is going through a process. Any process whatever its size, shape or form, or for whatever reason is not going to get a big smile from me. I hate long queues, government offices, clinics or hospitals, ticket booths, or any waiting line created just because somebody behind the window up ahead is sorting out papers, signatures, and your reasons for being in line. 

I stand there fidgeting I summon up in my mind diverse things to say, brilliant angry stuff, to rouse guilt on the person who is taking all of eternity to get to me. And then finally I get to the window... and there looking at the person working on my papers I feel every mental and physical muscle and energy in my body suddenly drain out of me and drop to the ground. I watch the person leaf through the sheets, punch something on the computer keys; seek out a particular rubber stamp on her desk; leave the window to seek out somebody whose signature should be on it; return to the window again and then push the papers out to me pointing at a dotted line with a pen. I sign-receive my copy, and I’m off. Relieved, not so much happy, but relieved releasing a big resigned sigh to the Universe that incidentally sees it all and is rolling on the floor laughing. 

Life is a process. Whether it is giving birth, getting married or a divorce, having your hair fixed at the salon, driving somewhere in your car, cooking for dinner tonight, learning in school or college, holding meetings in the boardroom, sweeping the yard, getting a health check at the clinic, arranging funerals, flying to some country, taking a bath, paying your bills, and more. There are no short cuts. In life when you go through strife struggles or challenges, you simply go through it albeit reluctantly resentfully grudgingly fearfully lazily tearfully but, this I tell you, there is neither an easy way out nor escape for you to grab on. You might want to pull at your hair, gnash your teeth, rev up your ugliest horrifying snarl at anyone or anything hoping to scare it away, but you still have to go through it just the same. And that’s final.

But .....

Mind what you think through the long process. Those thoughts which simmer or seethe through your brain will determine the end result you desire. Be kinder, more compassionate, understanding, observant, patient, perceptive, insightful, and open to learning whatever there is to learn from the challenge. You just can’t beat the process; it will roll out just as it should and not minding whoever you are or whatever you do. Time is there to support life.

It’s there for a reason which I am inclined to believe is by God’s design. And God’s intent, as I understand it, is always to make us grow. Therefore GROW ...we shall!

God bless you.

ROOTS AND WINGS

                

A rainy morning and a timely quote from my inbox (thanks, Mr. Quote Man) for a piece I was going to write.........

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
One of these is roots, the other wings". -- Unknown

Three college girls walked past my house on their way to school this rainy morning. It looked like not even a cold and rainy morning such as this could dampen their conversation which nestled on the subject of the future... their future. Before they went out of sight I was able to grab snippets of their chat with words such as ---- big dreams, leave home, abroad, independent, sad, family ties.....

If their mothers could hear them now I am pretty sure that it would make immeasurably sad their hearts. Although mothers pretty well know that one day soon their kids would grow up and finally leave home. Still when that day comes they don't really let go. At least that's how they would feel in the silence of their hearts.

Something I have heard from my mother as she entertained her buddies over lunch in our house long ago was this --- 'Mothers are just stewards of their children. The kids don't belong to us though we gave birth to them. They belong to God.'

Many years after when it was my turn to leave the nest, I finally understood what she meant. Although it pained her (I could see it in her eyes) to see me go but she let go. Maybe she thought her job was done and I was ready to be on my own. But was I?

Looking back now I can honestly say that maybe I was. Life was tough but I was tougher it seemed. Now I know my mother's thoughts. She knew about life and she made sure that I be equipped for the rush and tumble of a crazy world outside. She did what all mothers do.... she built on character. On this she shaped my roots knowing wisely that I could not depart from it whatever be the challenges. She did not aim to protect me from failure or mistakes or disappointments. Instead she made me understand that it's all part of the landscape of life and living. And she taught me the wisdom of learning to make the right responses towards it, as best as could be managed. She pointed to God as a supreme eternal guide and help comparable to none. She didn't make praying difficult to do... it's easy when you free the heart to speak. Kindness, generosity, compassion, honesty, dignity of labor, faith and trust, and the essential tiny courtesies of life.... among the good stuff she insisted upon. Imperfection was not a crime (nobody is perfect) but excellence a better choice. Best of all she walked her talk. I saw in her life how strength of character makes one come out a winner. One not by human or the world's standards but a winner in the heart of a Magnificent God greatly pleased. I guess that is what truly matters at the end of the day.

So this is what it is ..... ROOTS and WINGS -- gifts a mother alone can give to her child by the work of her mind, hand, heart, and soul enabled by an All-Knowing God. And when her job is done she humbly steps aside ..... and God takes over.

Love your mothers. Nobody else on earth can do what they do.
I miss my mom but I know that she's happy where she is now.

God bless you!! Enjoy your day.

YOUR LIFE IS A TAPESTRY WITH OTHERS IN IT

This is a good morning to start with. Nice warm sun, cloudy skies ( I don't mind it this time because it shields me from the hot rays of the noonday sun which is just a few hours away), a slight breeze, and some birds chirping away also in appreciation of a new blessed day.

Let me ramble on but on this particular line lifted from yesterday's post.....

'...-- see life in its huge tapestry and not just a small thread of it. Appreciate your little corner of it and also in being an integral part of the whole. Respect others who are there too.'

We think in boxes, in compartments. We don't try to go outside the comfortable secure niches we have placed ourselves in. Thus called 'comfort zones'. Seems ideal; looks ideal. Maybe it's ideal... if a life of solitude, distant, unconnected, uninvolved, and isolated is your cup of tea. Just by your lone lonesome disconnected self. But life isn't like that at all. It is not. Actually where it truly counts you won't get to do what you want, at least not from the heart and eyes of God.

Soon enough, like it or not, you will see things happening close to your perimeter or right in your own backyard. And which seriously pushes you to move out for solutions or relief, escape, or even change. There's a Divine plan to that.

When these things happen, it's God telling you .... 'Wake up, child; I didn't create you for you. Because if that was the plan, I wouldn't have bothered to create others more.'

You see, we are simply threads in the huge tapestry of creation and life which God has created. That no matter how weird or unlovable or dysfunctional or loose-jointed we may be to ourselves and to others, we are those very threads running through the tapestry and have its purpose laid down for us from the start. And that purpose is to .....  'love one another as I (God) love you'.

We love with our uniqueness individually or collectively. We care for one another with who we are and what we were born with. We link, intertwine, interweave, and connect with the rest of creatures and creation to create a whole. We need not wait to be made special for the job. The job is already special and our doing it makes us special.

You see, the threads may go helter-skelter, run off the design at times, break at some points, lose shape and color... but still patiently managed by the Divine. Oh you bet He has His ways. Just that we pay good attention and work within the plan of the Supreme Being. And when everything is done, it will be hung up the holy walls of heaven as God looks at the final work with a huge pleased smile and say ......... 'EXCELLENT JOB!'

To my blog friends, God bless you..... be blessed, stay blessed, and be a blessing to others. Have a lovely day!


(Photo source: dadirridreaming.wordpress.com)

KALEIDOSCOPE OF LIFE AND LOVE

Life is a dizzying roller-coaster ride and so is love. You will never get to stay at a certain point or experience as another thread rolls-in and takes you into another rolling spin. You’ll never have time to catch your breath or breathe at all. Mine took me from joy, disappointment, fear, frustration, anger, defeat, hate, puzzlement, surprise, and again back. It ran the whole gamut of emotions of that proverbial emotional range or spectrum of love and life. ----- Do you wonder if there was a point where I wished to be and stay on forever? Or another on which I wished didn’t exist at all? Yes, to both questions.

When bad times roll I literally gnash my teeth in utter confusion, anger, resentment, frustration, and despair. Things just happen in a fast clip that I’d wish so hard for the world to stop turning and let me off. It was just too much for a frail solitary vulnerable figure, which was me, to catch. Here’s a sample. Ever met the male version of ‘Delilah’? I did and I foolishly played the role of trusting ‘Samson’ to his devious portrayal of ‘Delilah’. He promised me the moon and the stars but I ended up colliding with an asteroid instead! Or -- maybe this. ‘Been through a crisis when someone dear is so ill and needs to be rushed to the hospital but nobody's there to help you at all? Who ever invented fair-weather relatives and friends huh?!! Or try this, know what it’s like to have somebody ‘steal’ your ideas, blatantly get the credit for it, and moved up the corporate ladder with nary a bit of shame in his evil soul? It sucks, doesn’t it? It sure does and you can only find it here in this seething vicious man-made corporate jungle.

So my mind was forming the idea that all these was all there is to life and love. It’s just one painful journey to another. Nothing more. But I was wrong because you know what, some unknown force from out of nowhere seemed to mercifully slow down my world, calmed the treacherous waters of my pain, parted the dreary clouds of suffering and let the glorious sunshine through. How? Know this feeling of ‘butterflies’ in your stomach when someone looks at you and there in his eyes you see yourself as the Queen of Roses – his? Remember how it feels to hold a new-born baby in your arms – yours? Felt deeply that gratitude and relief on finding one, a stranger to start with, but who turned-out to be your staunch friend in pain and sorrow? Are you familiar with the joy happiness and excitement welling-up inside you and rising to your throat almost choking you --- Because you just bagged a million-dollar deal for your boss and made them all deliriously ecstatic over it? All wonderful, isn’t it? In the midst of it all, you begin to think “Gosh, somebody up there must like me after all!” Then you cry wishing so hard that you could stay in this well of happiness forever and more.

But it isn’t like that at all. That’s what Mom would always tell me. -----“Ellen, you’ll get it all, not just one or two. Not simply happy, not always sad. You’ll have the full spectrum - the whole journey - the complete KALEIDOSCOPE of life….and love --- Maybe joyful and colorful in one, pain and sorrow in another. But everything every bit that happens to you good or bad comes with the sole intention of creating transforming turning you into that person, that very special person, you were meant to be. By God's design.”

Yeah, by God's design. When everything else fails, He comes to the rescue. But ...also He designed everything tailor-made to fit you and your uniqueness and temperament. All is for the purpose to complete the huge tapestry of life --- your life. Hard to understand that sometimes. But it will be for your well being to learn to.

(This is a re-post from several years ago. A good friend needs to see this... requested it.)

LIVE FROM YOUR HEART

"What comes from the heart..... touches the heart." (Unquote)

This is how we should try to live life -- connect from one heart to another. Life is too short to put up so many barriers, walls, divides.

What are you protecting yourself from? Why be afraid of what's out there or of what life can do to you? We already know that, don't we? So why behave like we don't? It's not a perfect world, certainly not a bed of roses. In fact, I got bashed and pushed around so much that I've got scars for it. No prize but scars -- but who cares. The only way to experience life is to get down on the ground and get dirty. You'll cry, fume mad, grit your teeth, curse the heavens, and hate the day you were born. And that's good. Why? Because you are living that's why. That is life. How else can you live life but through life.

But it's not all bad because in-between the hurts and pains or sometimes traveling alongside it is --- joy, wonder, awe, sweet expectations, excitement, fun and funny, tingling thrills, magic and miracles. And these are hand-born by great experiences, events, things, places, and people. These and more like it come to bless you. Realize.. be glad and grateful that 'thorns have roses' too. :-) And lest you forget, know that you are not alone because others more are going through the same things that you do. We all stand connected some way or another. By God's design.

Reach out. It's a wonderful world out there! Not perfect but wonderful.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE

A mother doesn't have all the solutions to life's problems. Nope. But she does have an observant eye..... an open mind..... and a heart that easily understands the whys and whatever for and why God sometimes is so slow or seems so busy at times.

How she gets all that? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how Mom got hers. But I think she was born with it. God put them in all mothers I suppose. Some use it, some don't, and a few just don't know how. :-)

(Above photo is the birthday treat for birthday girl Amchit.)

NOT ALWAYS WHAT I WANT

There are so many things I want in life that there's not enough fingers in my hands to count it with... toes included. Nope, it's not true that the farther one advances in years those wants decrease in proportion to it. Or have I said that correctly? Anyway, wanting something is part and parcel of being human. It never stops. But it does change in levels of priority, time and season, reason and rhyme, fashion ...and dreams. Truth is, I have more wants now and they are better defined meaning I understand what I truly want. Before, I wanted something because of some preset reason dictated by circumstance or life conditions. Now I find how much different it has become. Now i want this or that because i feel that it may be nice on me or will be good for me or that I will be enjoying it immensely. I want those things which will make me happy, comfortable, entertained, appreciated, or everything else that usually delights a woman's heart... and mind. And yes that list is now a mile long!

Will I get them all? Who knows?! I'm hoping that I would. Some have already been achieved though and you can just imagine how much pleasure and delight it brought me. Now am tweaked with bigger anticipation to look forward to the rest coming my way in their own good time. Admittedly things do come to us in its proper time and timing. You can't push it but you can pray for it.

But.....

There are also much on that list that I don't get. It's a downright 'No' on an item or two from Someone up there, and there's a 'Wait' on a few, and 'let's come back to this later' on some. Does that disappoint me? Of course it does and it raises my level of impatience a notch higher every time. So I make alterations adjustments conditions promises to my prayer with the intent of making the Big Guy up there concede to my request. But nope He won't budge. Not one iota of movement. Ugh!

But..... I'm glad.

If I had all my wants realized i would be ecstatically happy.. believe me, but is that a guaranty that it would be good for me too? I mean good in its truest sense. I can see what I see before my eyes... things which are tangible and real to my senses. But there's more to just the sensory thrill or satisfaction of a wonderful experience. That can easily pass with time. There should be a much more serious meaning or purpose or depth in the wanting and receiving, I believe.

Therefore I think that alone comes in wanting too what I need. Because in reality it's not always what I want that I get. But rather it's most times what I need. These created who I am today, shaped me in my thoughts and attitude towards people - life - the world. The Big Guy up there sure knows His job. Thus He does not always give me what I want although I'm sure He could..... but He gives what I need because he wants me to grow - mature into the person he meant me to be in the first place. He does this with everyone.... everyone!

So really, it's not always what we want but what we need that we get. I am learning to appreciate that.

(Picture is courtesy of friend-photographer Larry Conception)

HOW DO YOU MEASURE LIFE

Whether you're 16, 46, or 60 there's enough learning you can do to fill up your lifetime. In fact, to learn them all you will need a thousand... naye ...a million lifetimes.

I like that idea. I think life is one huge basket of lessons that very well teach me bout things, people, nature ... it shows me how an angry sea would lash out at the shore, or why people cry at silly things sometimes, or why poking your nose in other people's lives would get you a black eye lols! It tells me that in all things there is an ebb and flow which cannot be avoided or ignored. That people are born, live, and then die. That life can be both a burden and a blessing or one and not the other, but that is all up to you. That we have control of our lives and that if we allow others to do it for us, things can go crazy. That we may look different, behave differently, believe in different things and stuff, but in things which truly matter we are basically very much the same.

But even if I may know all of that there is still so much more I'm so ignorant of. I can't fathom nor imagine the mysteries of the universe... and too wonder about the secrets of the immense span of space or the depths of the oceans and seas. I can't see what feelings are written in a person's heart or the myriad of memories and thoughts interspersing in his mind. I can but only guess. That is not always enough.

And too I have so many questions unspoken and real which answers I have yet to find. But whether I find them or not, this journey I am taking is even far more richer than the end-all of it I begin to realize.

Now I know that this huge basket I so speak of is one bottomless vessel of precious treasure ripe for the picking. Then maybe... just maybe... I can pick those I want and discard stuff I consider trivia. But you know what, in some mysterious way these unwanted lessons I've chosen to ignore find their way back to me again and again until -- I become more inclined to learn them well, like it or not.

Nope, learning does not stop.. ever. I'm glad it's that way. Because life is measured not by days, weeks, months, or years... but by how much you have grown closer to that person you were meant to be --- by God's design. How do I know that? Easy. Life taught me.

(Picture forwarded to me by Parth)