LUCILLE's MONOLOGUE

This time allow me to quote Lucille, a dear friend (not her real name). We got to chatting on the phone one afternoon and talked about the latest events in our respective lives and stuff that would delight any woman’s heart. Then the chat shifted to a monologue. It seemed that she was talking more to herself than she was talking to me but it was okay. I think she needed that moment. I’m bringing Lucille’s monologue here in the blog because I felt that there's so much in it we could learn from. Oh don’t worry because she gave permission but of course not with her real name.

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I AM ME --- MY TIME IS MINE

“Whenever I look back to a certain point in my life, I see how Time had figured in my journey. Honestly, even if time were mine it seemed to belong to somebody else -- somebody who dictated how I should spend it or not spend it. Things happened but which didn’t come from my hand or mind or heart. How that came to be I don’t know. It was just there like somebody turning the pages of my book on a fast and faster clip. I felt that I had no control -- simply lost it. But as a dutiful girl would I went through everything that needed to be done, not because I wanted to but because it had to be done. Because If I didn’t, who would?

Then it stopped. Maybe God was saying ‘Enough!’ and restored to me what was and should be entirely mine. Precious time may have been lost but certainly not everything. If I may be allowed to say so, bad times made me who I am today..along with the good times no matter how few they may have been. Have learned my lessons and I hope well enough to have come out so much better than when I started. And if that’s any indication, that can only mean that Life has taught me well. Thank God.

Now I’ve got Time back in my own hands and I’m working it according to ME. I do what I love --

sit and gaze at the sunset for hours until it disappears in the horizon,

or pick my own friends no matter if they dress crazy or talk stupid yet have such good hearts,

or wake up late and, if still inclined, go back and snuggle in bed lazily,

or firmly say ‘no’ when I honestly feel that I should - without the guilt,

or speak my mind when my feelings are hurt and expect to be listened to,

or make mistakes without the fear of somebody else's displeasure.

I am finally ME and not someone others want me to be… and my time is mine. I’ll spend it the way I want it spent and won’t let anyone spend it for me. Not for any reason at all. No more, not ever. Thank God!”

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,and only you can determine how it will be spent.Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." -- Carl Sandburg

GROW WHEREVER YOU ARE WITH WHO YOU ARE

It is quite easy to be content with what you have become and with your own stack of experience or knowledge. And even easier to boldly think that you know everything there is to know and that nothing else will and can surprise you now. Maybe -- or maybe not. But I think it's not how far you or we have gone up the ladder of knowledge or fame or stature that makes the real score. Not really. Because I have seen men of high position, wealth, or education make big and bigger fools of themselves with something or someone lesser than themselves. Not so much of why but rather of how they did that to themselves.

----- How often do we hear of an unknown inconsequential person steal the thunder from a much more famed intellentual or personality by the sheer strength of his argument or presentation? And that isn't because he had more talent or was much more brilliant than the other. It was imply because this insignificant person did his homework, studied harder, and was determined to learn all there was to learn and more about the subject in question. He apparently didn't stop where others already have. He wasn't contented with what he had, no matter how sufficient it may appear to be, and doggedly strove or explored more ways to make it even better if not the best. His goal may not be perfection but definitely he aimed for excellence. By the way, somebody once told me that perfection is a dead-end, meaning no growth. No more.

----- In contrast to that, we see our man of stature stopping where he was made content by his achievements or personal gain.

----- To sum it up, our inconsequential hero continued to grow where our famed intellectual stood smugly on status quo. So it isn't very hard to see that growth, wherever and whoever you are in your life with whatever you have, will undoubtedly take you quicker to your goal and win you the coveted prize. You see, it's not really what you have accumulated in your head or how big and full your pockebook is, or of the absence of one or the other or both. Nope. Rather what defines you is whether you continue to grow regardless of your situation or circumstance. Then by this you become unstoppable. And that is how man made his first flight to the moon - discovered new horizons - broke sound barriers - created new wonder drugs - or rose from rags to riches where it was once thought to be impossible.

----- "It matters little where a man may be at this moment; the point is whether he is growing." - George MacDonald

DON'T WE NEED A LITTLE MAGIC IN OUR LIVES

The other day I heard someone say that life was 'boring - boring - boring!'. Yeah, he said that three times. And he was right inside the mall with all possible distractions that could take a person's mind off cares and woes even if it be for just a few hours. Well, so what makes for 'boring'? I could venture a few descriptons, like --- absence of activity, lack of interest, dearth of inspiration, scarcity of surprises, or decline of hope and belief in life and living. Everybody has his own reason, I am sure, but valid or not it still is no excuse for giving up on feeling alive.

Alive - that is the one big word that explains everything and anything there is in our life. Anything means the good, the bad, the sorry, and the glad -- and everything else in between all that. It includes all the people you meet - the goodies and the baddies and yah some in-betweens too.

And yet despite a ful plate we still get to be bored. Why is that?

It's because.. we lost something somewhere back there.

I think what we need is to gain it back -- that special something we once had or were when we knew how to --- marvel, be in awe, feel the stars in our eyes, laugh with gless at a big surprise, feel the adrenalin rush in our veins, feel our steps quicken, or hear the warm thumpity-thump of our heart for someone or something.

It's something you can't fully explain but I think you don't need to anyway. it's enough that it brings the sparkle in your eyes, puts a gorgeous smile on your face, makes you feel up there on cloud 9, or walk about with a song in your head and heart -- or maybe sing in the rain. It's this wonderful joyous sense of living.

It's magic!

And everybody needs a little, and more if you can, MAGIC in their lives. So get back the magic into your life. See life and the world as --- magic and magical. You can if you try. It's all up to you. Don't lose that little kid inside. :-)

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Just in case you wonder, am blogging from the net cafe this time. Lols! :-)

INFO FOR MY BLOG FRIENDS

Hi guys!

Do you know where I am? Am here in a net cafe. :-) Why? Because the communication and power lines in my neighborhood are out of commission at this time. So for the past three days I did nothing but think of you fellas, listen to music, do my morning walks with my daughter, play with my dogs and cat, and do some more sketches. :-) But I sorely miss meeting you all in the blog.

Well, am hoping that the repair guys will fix the problems very soon or tomorrow (Wish!) so that I can go back to posting again. Fact is, I have already a couple of new pieces for posting. And maybe will be adding more until things are back to normal again.

By the way, I love your warm and lovely messages in my previous post. Gosh, it feels good to know that you're there. As I've always said.. a blog comes alive when people come visiting it. And that's what you do to my blog .... it pulsates with life with your presence. You simple light it up, fellas. Thank you very much.

Got to go now. My online time is up. Geeezz, I thought I'd never go back to a net cafe again when I had the internet service installed at home. Oh well, never say never. Lols! :-)

Take care, everybody! Hope to see you soon.
Now don't you stop sending me your messages. Looking forward to more. Lols!
May God bless you and your family.

Ellen :-)

P.S.

Will be replying to your messages in the previous post on my next visit to this net cafe and that'll be soon. Take care all. Bye for a bit!

A GIFT TO MY BLOG FRIENDS

Hi Folks!

I was sitting at the computer one day last week and cruising down my blog archive. And honestly I was literally amazed by the Comments section and felt so overwhelmingly thankful for all the lovely, inspiring, warm, encouraging, and endearing comments and messages seen on every post written through the weeks, months, and years. Am so lucky and blessed to have such wonderful people visiting and viewing the blog. You made the blog so special and of course gave me my widest smile every time you dropped by. You bet! :-)

And so I thought I'm going to do something special for you, just for you my friends. The result of which is the above landscape sketch in charcoal pencil right off my sketch pad. :-)

Yes, this post is something different this time. Because this is a GIFT to all my wonderful FRIENDS in the blog, old and new, visible and invisible.

To your heart -- from mine.
God bless you all!

Ellen

"HOW DID YOU KNOW"

It was long ago when I first heard this song and fell straight in love with it. It was lovely then and still is today, amazingly. I was browsing the YouTube site when I stumbled upon it. Now I'm having it here on the blog to listen to anytime I please. See the lyrics below and know why, so here it is...

HOW DID YOU KNOW --- sang by Gary Valenciano
(source: YouTube)

Right click with your mouse on 'Open Link In New Window', so you need not leave the blog page. (Oh but of course, you know that already. LOLS!) :-)

HOW DID YOU KNOW

I remember so well
The day that you came
Into my life
You ask for my name
You have the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day
Feeling all right
With you right by my side
Make me feel things
Will work out just fine

CHORUS:
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there was an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget how you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that i have.
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much i love you
(repeat chorus)