LESSONS FROM LIFE

LESSONS FROM LIFE 

I am not what I used to be -- my old self which worried at every nitty-gritty detail of a mess-up, mine or somebody's else's. I don't fret if the house is a mess, at least not anymore. But cleaning up goes on normally as it should. I save not for a special occasion because I've learned that everyday is a special occasion. So then I would buy ice cream, cakes, pretty clothes, shoes, bags and use them for no special reason. It doesn't have to be my birthday to look pretty or be happy. 

Flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, or differences displayed by other people now amuse me rather than annoy because I have understood that we are all different and that being so does not make one person better or less than the other. It just makes us different. People's foibles are now better understood and forgiven, including mine. I draw close to people I like.. and if I don't like someone I simply stay away and forget that person. No point in having someone like that stick around to ruin my parade. I try not to go crazy when plans bomb out or when appointments are missed. Because if and when they do, certainly it must be for some reason. Eventually something much better takes its place. It always does. Better to see it with a positive eye, otherwise it's bound to cause more stress in trying to figure out what happened.

I believe in miracles and blessings which certainly come plenty if one takes pains to find out or see it. I indeed seek for blessings because my mom said I should. You see mom would always tell me that .. "there is always one when you come looking for it... and sometimes even when you aren't looking." -- Blessings though don't always come wrapped in gorgeous ribbons or other fancy trimmings or make a huge dramatic entrance into your life. Nope. Sometimes it's just there beside you or within you making you feel... peace calm serene joy hope strength courage inspiration faith... Something you thought you'd never experience as the rest of your world comes tumbling down or has already.

I am happy where happiness finds me.... and if sorrow should come I'd probably cry too. Oh yes, probably hurt and ache, grieve, be miserable... but I know better now that these things are fleeting and would easily pass just like all of life. Besides things which I have no control over are no longer mine to worry about. Troubles are plenty it's true; nobody's spared of it, but we can choose how to face them. Thus if solutions seem nil, then I leave them at the foot of the Cross for God to handle. He's better at it, you know. So much better. 

Much learned at 75..... with still more learning up ahead.  And know too that sometimes in life you'll get to learn..relearn..unlearn...until wisdom finally gets you. Also...mistakes are okay, they're there for a reason -- as tools for learning. 

I owe much to the big guy upstairs.⛪ Thank you, Dad!!!

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THERE IS A STORY IN ALL OF US. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT

 

 

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I remember this from long ago........

One day I was at the window just looking out and watching the world and people go by.... feeling relaxed and good with the day. That's when all the chores are done, of course, and Mom's already at the kitchen cooking up something for the evening's meal. Oh yes, she always starts early; never on rush mode whenever preparing for the family's meal. 

Well, I was enjoying the view of lush trees at my neighbor's yard across the street ... quite amused by the lively chirping of birds flitting here and there among the branches ... when a group of people came walking by. Men and women in their middle ages and gauging from the chat going on have just come from a meeting at the chapel three blocks away. There was no missing that as they spoke in voices similar to that of teenagers with their voice boxes turned on 'loud' while chatting!

I sat there quite amused though admittedly mildly irritated too as they blew away my calm and peace. Oh well, another day........

So then my attention was riveted to them now. I saw this woman who was vigorously pressing a point she considered very important with hands flailing in the air as she addressed the group. One guy simply smiled and looked away. Another bearded gentleman argued without waiting for her to finish. The silver-haired woman walking beside her with deep frowns on her forehead shook her head slightly in apparent yet unspoken disagreement. Another woman in wedge shoes (I noticed because it looked too heavy for her thin small feet) listened intently behind the woman speaking. While the short heavy-set woman beside her walked poker-faced, not listening, I could see. Dead-ma. And this gentleman a few steps behind them (on purpose I thought) looked at them with or in utter amusement.

I turned towards Mom and said.... "What's with people?! Can't they at least agree to disagree?"

"Hold it there, young lady." she quipped still not leaving the kitchen as she could very well see the street from where she stood. Obviously she noticed what I was seeing outside the window and I was even sure that she caught the loud voices, too. She never misses anything. Are mothers all like that!?!

"Each one in that group is who he or she is because something or someone put it there. There is always some bias... prejudice... preference... judgement... insight... preconceived notion... expectation... perception... experience, or understanding behind every thought, word, or deed coming out from that person.  Those things and more have influenced or shaped that person and will continue to do so for the rest of his life. Perhaps adding some more, both good and bad, as new opportunities and challenges arise.

There is a story in all of us. This is what we're all about.

The exchange you saw were simply the display of responses by every individual in the group each lifted from their individual and personal memory bank of information gathered from day one of life. They respond according to what they know or to what or how they were programmed from birth.

Two things: 

One is the mechanical response. You turn it on like you do a car.... turn the key, it starts, and it runs. The other is the thoughtful response. You turn on your memory bank, sift through the data, select what is appropriate, and set it to work.

Experience will tell you that a well-thought out response will give you an edge of success over a problem. A thought response will help you evaluate the problem better and might even see the solution contained therein. A thought response gives room for creativity and a better-defined course of action."

"Wow! Mom, who wrote that? I'd like to have that book." I exclaimed wide-eyed and impressed.

"Experience." she smiled with a special glint in her eye as she turned back to her cooking. Oh it's a smile I'm familiar with whenever she scores a point. Bigger points, bigger smiles. I get that from her all the time. But you know what, I'll take that smile anytime-anyday-anywhere..! Happily!!
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Through the years, she was always there for me. Thanks, Mom!
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Love your mothers. Learn well from them

A PEACEFUL DAY

 

 

 

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Days come to us in a bucket of wide diversity. They can be nice... pleasant... exciting... happy... boring.... dreary... monotonous... agitated... lonely... confusing... scary... mind-boggling... funny... interesting... bland... peaceful. calm... serene... high-energy... slow... hopeless... promising... creative... challenging... overwhelming... embarrassing... threatening... suspicious... and plenty more heaped on our plate. We respond to it in ways we each have been programmed for since birth by experience, habits, genes, and preferences. All that combined even makes for quite an interesting day.
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I like best a calm, serene, peaceful day. Everybody does, I guess.. It's unchanging. It's there just waiting to be called forth. Rising from the heart. Always from the heart.
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Peace.... then and now. What a lovely blessing!
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(Thanks to the internet for these lovely images.).

APPRECIATING THE PRESENT MOMENT

 

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You know, this is so true. Sometimes I forget what a lovely day I'm having...... just because I focus too much on something else. So I keep reminding myself that nothing should be too great nor too grand to ever stop me from appreciating the present moment........  that lovely presence of pulsating life in the here-and-now.

That now moment when you feel the oneness with time. None of the  'I have to do this or that..'  .....or worrying about tomorrows....  or pining for yesterdays already gone. Just being in that now moment of being. Appreciating everything that is there in that experience of ...... life!

Hugs, friends;  I feel so blessed just remembering you.

EVERYBODY HAS HIS OR HER STORY

(To better read the text in this poster,  click your mouse on the picture. It should take you to a better view.)

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Was talking with a good friend on the phone. It's a fine mid-morning to enjoy a nice chat with friends. Although hot I thought to stay awhile before heading back to my room where it's much cooler. Our conversation covered a wide range of random subjects which always amazes me about my friend. It's like driving down the highway with high speed and changing lanes or shifting gears without warning. (You can see many of those plying the Antipolo route.) That, as we know, is a disaster in waiting. But in a conversation there's not much damage done to it except that more often than not some subjects are left hanging in mid-air. But she manages to make me smile lots. Smiles make my day, as you all already know.

And always she makes me think........

This time she tells of several experiences which dotted her week. A good mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly as I gathered from her story. We all know that it's the normal run of things in our lives. We come face to face with the good and in another moment with the bad and then sometimes everything in one big heap. That's how it works... shifting, interchanging, colliding .... all with the intent to perk up what would perhaps be a boring uneventful existence. We must teach ourselves to see it that way or we'd go crazy. Well, maybe or maybe not ... that would all depend on the attitude we bring into it.

Not surprisingly I have been through those same experiences, too. Connecting or reacting to the same events, things, or people. But this I will say, her take-away from her set of experiences were so much different from my own take-away off similar experiences.

A person which I thought was utterly charming, she thought rude. An event which I thought a good learning opportunity, she thought mediocre. An object which I saw as a good piece of craftsmanship, she thought quite useless.

Did those times make me angry or disappointed with her? Not really. I remember now these lines from a book I had read that.... to quote

'Nobody experiences something or someone or someplace the same way. Everybody has his or her story.'  

Thus it's not just the story .....because all life stories are basically the same -- joy, sadness, fear, conflict, struggle, disappointment, betrayal, victory, anguish, anger (and so much more)  ....but what you (or we) put into it is what makes it yours... uniquely different, interesting though maybe unpopular or controversial but still makes for a worthy telling and listening to. Because it is YOUR story.

So the chat went well, to make a long story short. And as predicted she gave me my ration of smiles for the morning. Now back I'm going to my room as the heat is getting intense by the hour here.

Good morning, everyone, and enjoy the blessings of your day. Blessings too comprise the stories that we tell and share. Let's count blessings!

WISDOM CAN BE LEARNED THROUGH THE TEARS

"Let us cry for the spilt milk, by all means, if by doing so we learn how to avoid spilling any more. Let us cry for the spilt milk, and remember how, and where, and why, we spilt it. Much wisdom is learnt through tears, but none by forgetting our lessons."     -- Maria Amparo Ruiz de Burton 

I remember being told by an elderly aunt long ago to never cry over spilt milk. Meaning that the mistakes of the past should remain there and that we should never harbor regrets over it. Easier said than done. Because truth of the matter is I cry, in fact bawl, over what has gone by and over mistakes that were made. But did I learn? Not always. You see, when tears come it washes away all resolve you may have valiantly raised to move away from the pain that gnaws at your soul. All you ever focus on is your misery.  So have I learned.

But now, even if I do still cry it's with a difference.  I have learned in the midst of all the tears to determinedly focus on the goal of learning whatever lessons are presented to me through that unpleasant experience or experiences, I can understand that it's all for my further learning and growth. Not always easy, I must say, especially when the wounds of disappointment, frustration, failure, uncertainty, insecurity, or false expectations remain fresh in memory and prick with every thought. Yet in wanting to learn what should be learned I get to analyze... to break it apart and stare at the broken pieces hard... searching for the why --- how --- where or what went wrong. Eventually the answers come out.

Now the sad memory still stings but maybe a tear or two may flow. But just like the sun rises every morning, a smile too rises from the heart which knows that it has learned well and acknowledges that it has been made wiser, so much wiser, by it.

PLENTY STILL TO KNOW

To quote: ... " 'Que Sais- je?' (What do I know?) was the motto of Michel de Montaigne, the sixteenth century French essayist whose amiable good sense still endears him to many readers today. His question was intended to remind him that knowledge was there to be tested and tried. But it was also a reminder that he an educated and quite wealthy man, well-read and with his own library of books, actually knew very little."   -- David Ross, Pearls of Wisdom

To my personal stack of knowledge I see quite a good share gathered through my own life journey through the hits-and-misses, the succeeding-and-failing, the joys-and-tears, the joyful fulfillment-and-disappointing regret, and everything else contained in the whole spectrum of life and living. But monsieur Michel was right ..... 'what do I know?' My answer to that would be ... 'plenty' still to know!

My journey isn't over and God isn't finished with me yet. And that speaks for all of my fellow travelers down life's road. There's more to discover, know, learn. If you think seriously about it, a person will need a thousand lifetimes to get to that point of being 'all knowing' and even more. One lifetime isn't enough.

But we don't need to do that. We just need to take what's there in our day, examine it, explore, pass it through reflective thought, learn what's there to learn, put it to the test, and then make it our own. It's one day at a time of pursuing knowledge, experience, wisdom. You can't just cruise down the avenue of living or sit on the fence and watch people and the world go by. You get involved in it... get your hands dirty, get your heart bruised, shake up your mind. All these for a better you. That's the whole point of everything.

So then 'Que Sais- je?' Plenty still that we don't know.
Blessings on your own life journey.

TRY SLOWING DOWN

Many think that by working on a fast or faster pace one gets there quicker whatever it is one is doing or wherever it is one is going. Well, not all the time. Faster doesn’t always mean it’s done or that it’s good or that it’s worthy. Besides we know that quantity is not entirely synonymous with quality except when automated or mechanized. That’s a whole different story.

There was this young person I remember a couple of years back. He was smart, ambitious, an achiever, limitless energy, and aiming for the stars like all young people his age. Everybody expected him to one day join the ranks of the brightest stars in the corporate firmament.

A dream he chased and couldn’t wait to get there pronto. So he did all that was required and more – took on projects here and there although deadlines came close and tight. Neither did he refuse more assignments not wanting to risk his superior’s displeasure. That virtually didn’t help with the quality of his work in the long run. To make a long story short, all that hurry and haste cost him a heavy price – he got sick. Including the fact that he almost lost the people he loved dearly in his life with neglect. The rest of the story is everybody’s good guess.

That’s sad, isn’t it? --All that work gone to waste and the man himself – wasted.

Well, there’s a better way to get there where you want to go. Try slowing down. It can’t hurt you if slowing down means getting the chance to review, alter, or change plans, recharge or energize, evaluate progress or its absence, rethink strategies, get rid of an obstruction or irritant, or simply to breathe. It’s not a crime to do all that.

In fact --- “Sometimes to gain ground, you have to slow down.”

WHAT LESSONS HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM LIFE?

So many lessons to learn from life through the years. Don't we all know it! So many that I lack fingers to count them with Lols! I have put down just five (there's more of course) here which had great impact on my life at those times it appeared. Experiences and lessons I will never ever forget.

Knowing how much the same we each are to one another -- basically running through the same tapestry of life experiences -- wherever you are in the world, whatever you do in life... would you perhaps be interested to share your own life lessons here in the blog with me? There will be so much you can share, I am sure, and I can learn from you too. Life is too short to learn everything there is to learn... and our lives just one to get them all in. So how about it? I'll be waiting.

Here's my list:
- Life doesn’t throw you punches if it doesn’t know you can’t take them
- Freedom in everything means accountability and responsibility too
- It is okay to be yourself but it is absolutely not okay to behave insensitively of others
- Where all else may fail, faith and hope gets you trying one more time
- Always there will be strength you thought wasn’t there
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Write your life lessons in the Comment Box. Then I will post it here in this blog. You can opt to write one, three, or even more. Whatever you feel like doing. :-) I'll be looking forward to your nuggets of wisdom. See yah!!

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Comment

Vyshu said...

Hello Ellen,

Thanks for this wonderful post and the opportunity to share my thoughts..!

#Learn from the mistakes of yours and others too. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself
#In the practice of tolerance, My enemy is my best teacher
#Sticking to the truth is the best way.
When we know our strengths and accept our weaknesses, our confidence is reliable.striking a fine balance between two extremes is the key
#The cause of all joy and distress is our mind. If we can keep our mind & desires in control, it will become a mere observer of things. As an observer, the mind has no direct involvement and hence does not worry about the events. Then, we feel tranquil and have a smooth life. Just as a drop of water on a lotus leaf does not mingle with it, sorrow does not affect us.
#Joy of Giving and Healthy life style..

These are my greatest lessons for now..:) Would love to share more Ellen
Have a nice Day !
Cheers

Friday, August 21, 2009

AmitMakwana said...

yeah...
i learned a lot from your lessons ELLEN...
mine are:

--when you fail, only way left for you is to fight back with double will power...
--more you believe in yourself more you succeed...
--when you are true to your self and open to the world, you feel lighter and can move ahead faster and enjoy your journey to success...
--when you always be yourself, you get the right feedback from others that can help you improvise...
--you need to learn every day from everyone...
--keep your senses alive and alert, opportunities are bound to come your way...
--nobody can keep you away from your dreams and desires... go for it...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Jack said...

Ellen,

Learning is a never ending process. And true it is difficult to list out all you learn. Life teaches you new things all the time. I agree with Vyshu learn from yours as well as other's mistakes so as not to repeat them.

Take care

Friday, August 21, 2009

pearl said...

Ellen, you have said very well and precisely i would not be able to add more, apart from this one thing that during such tough situation only 'silence' works and the faith that God above is there to wade us out of the troubled waters is wat really works!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Pramoda Meduri said...

--> Working with mind may not make everything possible, but working with heart can do it always.
--> Let us take every breath just for our motherland, and ensure that our work will add value to her legacy.
--> Winning is important, but it is not everything.
--> Belief is the one thing that would stabilize your emotions, if not, you are not believing it.
--> To understand a person what he is exactly, never just look at how he behaves with u, but u try to gather how he behaves with others as well.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

indrablog said...

Mine are here (some are very cliched):

--It's good to be nice but it helps to let others know that nicety depends on reciprocation.
--A risk mayn't always work but still it's improtant to take sometimes.
--Knowledge is strength.
--You should forgive but not forget.
--It helps to know what you can and what you can't.

Monday, August 24, 2009