Thursday, January 31, 2008

GO AHEAD AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE



(Last of short series)

I’ve got a hero in my neighborhood. He is one of the early residents of our subdivision. His house is just across the street from our place. We moved in here about 20 years ago when the girls where then kids -- Small place in a quiet neighborhood.

He is special. When we would knock on his door because the car won’t start or the washing machine got stuck or we had a short circuit… he would waste no time coming to the rescue.

Recently my family and I had the good fortune of meeting this lady doctor who looked after my husband during his illness last November. She’s remarkable -- a fine model of her profession -- The epitome of professionalism with a heart.

And too have met this kind gentleman and doctor who is also a celebrity on the side, I call him the singing doctor -- Lols Sweet person, intelligent, and with a heart of gold. If the lady doctor is remarkable, this wonderful human being is incredible in such a magnificent way.

I have this close friend who is so sweet, simple, intelligent, and compassionate. She would rally to your side when you need someone close and would even part with her last dollar in her purse if you need it. She’s a treasured friend.

There are others more working back in the past years of my life. They are all appreciated but sadly most of them have moved on somewhere and we have lost touch. Life took them to other journeys I suppose.

In the present time, more have revealed their extraordinary qualities in small or big measure. They're lovely people. These I have mentioned here I treasure dearly in my heart. Not just because they shared their intrinsic goodness with me and my family but more so for their genuine value as individuals – as persons who were not afraid to be different and stood 10 feet tall in our life.

“I am only one, but still I am one;
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

--- Edward Everett Hale


These outstanding people have spoken well… not necessarily with words but with their deeds. Everything that they do are signed and sealed with their beautiful hearts. They're my heroes. May God bless them all!

YOUR GOOD IS BETTER - AND YOUR BETTER BLESSED


(Fifth of short series)

That was Eddie Murphy's line in the movie 'Holy Man'. I like that the first time I heard it... never left my mind since. That's my whole point. We are all capable of doing good and when we do... that good is better than all the title - position - recognition - award - reward all put together. That kind of 'better' reaps you all of those besides without even trying. The reason why it's called 'blessed'.

This good is the one that improves lives, gives hope to the hopeless, strengthens those whose own strength is failing, makes a person see the rainbow when he thinks none exists, helps someone get back on the road to enlightenment and recovery, props up a person who's down on his knees in misery with his heavy burden, brings a song to the sadness in a grieving heart, and puts a smile on the face of one who forgot how it is to smile again. And you know what, that too is included in the blueprint of our lives.


God does not hold back blessings from a person who is generous with doing good. Fact is, out of delight and pleasure He will open the gates of heaven and rain down all that is good and worthy specially for that person. Oh yes, nobody can out-give God. He knows how best to give and to whom.

To reap heavenly blessings.... be a blessing.
It's as simple as that. Nothing grand nor fancy, just plain simple GOODNESS.

... and right where it should come from --- the heart! You see, that's where God looks first.

Ooops, going off for dinner.
Back later.



SHOVE THAT OLD NONSENSE AWAY


(Fourth of short series.)


Remember those times when we would usually fret and worry whether we did the right thing or not, whether we made a good impression or ugh!, whether we achieved success or bungled it all up --- all were such a waste of time.. I now realize. Oh yes, we knew those things long before ..but.. one truly never stops learning - new lessons or old ones. Life has a way of making us do the tests again and again. Even if we think we've learned it well the first time. Life, the good teacher that she is, knows better and will have us on repeat, redo, rework (ouch!)
until she's satisfied that we got it. Only then will we get that passing mark.

The many things which transpire in a person's day are all there for that day alone. Believe it or not. That is those which directly concern YOU (what concerns others is their own) -- your thoughts, attitudes, feelings, and behavior towards your day. Everything which you had done rose from this mental emotional physical and spiritual setup that you brought into your day. You give to your day what you are equipped with; you cannot give what you don't have.

I think that we should try to understand this better.... that God gives to us only what is sufficient for the day -- the challenges, the issues, hurdles, tests, trials, strength -- and what other things we may need to cope with our day. Everything is sufficient for the day. God has so planned it that way.

It's quite simple but we seem to be missing His point. Live life one day at a time. Today should be lived with everything that we've got (talent, skill, wealth, knowledge, ambition etc), with all that we are (carpenter, writer, minister, actor, driver, clerk, doctor, president, lawyer, wife, son, lolo and lola, etc), and with the purpose of giving glory to God. You've heard this before... 'life is God's gift to us; what we do with it is our gift to God'.

With this in focus, we will have no need for regret, the what if, I should not have, why did I do that, oh no I messed up, or I'm sorry for being such a big fool! Shove that old nonsense away. When you have done your very best... that should be good enough. By the way, your very best.. is God's best too.


"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Let's have this instead... 'today is done; did all I could with it. let's see what tomorrow will bring.' It's a new day!Thank God!



SOMEBODY STRUM THAT HAPPINESS STRING



(Third of short series)

Oh I don't know if that title there is apt for this writing. But there's something in that phrase that attracted my attention. Get a load of this....


A person is like a 8-stringed guitar or maybe more. Each string or chord representing an emotion in the heart. So when one emotion surfaces, it means that a chord or string had been strummed. When the loneliness chord plays, you're found to be lonely. When you're furious, someone plucked on your angry chord. 'Think that's corny? lols I think that's cute.

Right now, the sorrow chord is on an extended run -- I mean 'strum' --for me. I'm not complaining. That's okay; emotions have to run its full course. But I do want to make a tiny request to Somebody up there.... Please strum that happiness string for me too?! Because if this goes on and on I might forget what it's like to be happy again. lol

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Inside a passenger jeep this afternoon, I sat opposite two women -- one young in her twenties and the other much older... maybe about forty-ish. Luckily I had my dark shades on ...to camouflage my interest in people watching.

Let's start with the younger one. Pinay features, dark skin, long hair, slim. What struck me about her was her face -- far-away look, eyes looking yet not seeing, mouth set on a weak thin line.. I could sense a burden lurking somewhere there in her brain which dropped down to her face in a veil of anxiety over her eyes. The vivacity of youth appeared to have drained out of her... she looked so old before her time.

The much older woman who sat beside her was something else. Same Pinay features, lines etched on her round face, lips seemingly ready to break into a quick smile, short cropped hair, on the heavy side. But she stood out with her aura of peace and tranquility sitting there watching with interest the scene outside as the jeep went past. She was a sight to see -- content and serene, probably happy too. It's noticeable in the eyes.

The Eyes -- the window of a person's soul. Tells all, bares all.

Oops! gotta go. Be back later.
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Back!

Hm mm.. will be going on a short trip to Pangasinan next week. A close friend invited me there.. for a stroll down the shore, quiet moments with the sunset, the feel of the sea under your feet, the wisp of sea air on your face... and the goodies galore at the market place. lols Unfortunately, I'm not a market person.. more of a nature person. So the first options there will be on my agenda, that's for sure.
How long ago was it since my last frolic on the beach? That long ago??! Ugh! what a crime! Well, need to go back to my favorite place -- that spot where the sea touch the shore.... where whatever name I write on the sand, the sea wipes away with just one sweep.... where good ole Sol writes her name on the water surface with one golden streak (Ha! this one the sea can't delete).... --- where the sea wraps itself around my soul.

Is somebody strumming my happiness chord?

Back later in the day for more. Ciao for now!
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What's one supposed to say when you're asked this question.... 'are you happy?' I'll tell you what, you don't say yes or no. Rather look into that person's eyes and say 'are you?'


I don't equate happiness with externalities.. though we most often do. You see, if you build your happiness on these external causes.. you will soon discover that it's superficiality and won't last you longer than it should or want it to be. Happiness over a new pair of shoes or a stylish dress or an arty accessory --- these skin-deep things come and go fleetingly. And when they do you're back to where you started.... unhappy and discontent.


The happy things which linger longer in the heart at its core are those things which touch your life with genuine meaning cause and purpose. It could be things, events, experiences, or people. Having interacted with any of those and coming out of it fully sated and fulfilled makes for the true and genuine meaning of Happiness.

So when caught in its midst with the same question 'Happy?'
I'd say 'Yes, oh Yes!'. Thank God for that.

Will be back later for more. Bye for a bit!
Got Chef Angelo's pizza waiting for me lols



IT'S ANOTHER LOVELY DAY FOR THOUGHTS


Second of a short series.
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Yes, it is such a lovely day... and with lovely days come thoughts that soar up into the yonder blue skies.


That's funny but these things I write used to be contained only in a journal taken out from under my pillow when the mood for writing sets in. It served a purpose..yes.. but a very selfish one - just for I, Me, and Mine. Whatever insights, perceptions, observations, enlightenment, or knowledge gained benefited only myself. But of course it did its job of helping me journey to understanding. And that is good. Yet something still felt not right.

Then I found out why...

All that you have gained in learning for yourself isn't worth a penny if it stops with you. Because wisdom gained isn't wisdom given simply for storing or hoarding -- or for personal consumption only. That does not serve God's purpose at all. So when you have dutifully and diligently learned the lessons contained in every experience coming your way ... then it is now time for that wisdom to move on and out to somebody else where it can also touch a life or lives and serve it just as well as it had served yours.

Maybe that is the reason for this blog... for this manner of writing or thinking out loud for all to see. This is a way of saying--- 'Come and share the fruits of my learning journey too. Pluck out those which you think can serve you best, I don't mind, if you will be led to some learning as I have... because Life is truly a never ending search for 'learning - unlearning - relearning'. It just never stops.'

We each are both teacher-and-student to one another at different points in our life. I learn from you, you learn from me, we learn from others, they learn from us. We travel the same road to learning and new learning although at different paces from one and the other. Sometimes at some point in that journey our paths may cross or merge thereby making the lessons even more meaningful and profound. That is great. And an added bonus is that wonderful friendships born from it.

Okay, today isn't over yet.
More thoughts later in the day.
Bye for a bit!
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Back! Evening now and it's quiet outside. The full moon has come and gone. I missed seeing it. I don't know ...was busy with something. Wish that I did though. A gorgeous full moon is always worth a look-and-see.

Funny though but we miss a lot of good things like that in life. Nobody is to blame for it, more our fault than anything else. We tie ourselves down with a lot of distractions, issues, woes, cares, projects, and the most convenient excuse ever created by man called 'work'. We work like our whole lives depended on it. Don't you think that's taking it a bit overboard? We need to work but of course. .. to pay the monthly bills, tuition, buy clothes - medicines, pay the rent.. etc. But when in doing all those we tend to forget and neglect the other areas of our lives, then something is wrong somewhere there. If and when work comes to that point that it tends to overshadow our relationships, our connection with nature, our faith and link with God, and stunts our growth in the finer things in life called -- joy, fun, laughter, creativity, talent, family.. then it has succeeded to reduce us to a mere work machine.

You like that? I don't. When I was then part of the corporate world some 3 or 4 years ago, my guiding principle was family, nature, God... not necessarily in that order. They always were (and still are) the focal point of my existence. Work wasn't. But don't get me all wrong, I always gave my job my best shot having been blessed by God with talent for that purpose. (we all have God-given talents; believe it.) But it certainly wasn't my whole world and life. Work isn't life nor living; work is only a part of it - only one of many other parts of a man's whole existence.

So why rework the whole setup - the blueprint of our existence. God created life and man to be multi-faceted. Big J himself apart from working very hard went fishing with friends, came to party, and even slept in the boat (exhausted by the day's work probably; nothing wrong with that) while a storm was brewing. And he rested on a certain day apart from the rest of the week. And remember when he chided Martha for complaining that Mary left her to work alone in the kitchen while the latter sat down listening to Big J's conversation? Martha was missing the best part -- that of spiritual growth. What a big loss that was! Big J had to scold her to make her see.

Missing that gorgeous full moon got me back to my senses. It's not going to happen again. I love full moons, starry skies, sunsets, roses, blue summer skies, morning dewdrops, bonding time with my daughters, friends, having my nails done at the parlor, morning walks, ice cream cones, frisky pet dogs, lazy persian cat, and the conversations with God. Not the book, this one's real. lols

I've retired from work but I still appreciate work for what it is. There's much work in the upkeep of a home, you'll be surprised to know lols.

Remember, work should be your slave. Reign it in lest it rise up to be your master.

Okay, got to go now, the night's getting late.
See you in the next 'ish.

Monday, January 28, 2008

A NEW CHAPTER UNFOLDS

This post will begin a short series of writings done in another blog. I'm taking it here for someone dear to my heart. Bear with me on these, if you please. Thank you.
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January
will soon be over... a page which began and now is ending in this new chapter of my life... my family's life. Already this month took us into a swirl of things - new things, new people, new friends, new experiences, new insights and learning. If there is anything I would consider worthy for remembering, it's the learning done with every experience that came to us. I have learned too to -- weed out the 'undesirables' so as to preserve the integrity and value of those found to be excellent and worthy treasures to keep. I learned not to waste precious time thought and energy with those who don't even value themselves -- who have ceased to learn, grow, and develop. The same goes for projects too which no longer serve any good purpose, which have outlived their time, which have dried up and proved unworthy & unproductive.

I am going back to the basics of living -- which had been pushed aside for the distractions of modern living and people and things. Sometimes those wrapped in attractive packages are not the things that you truly need. I knew this before and am relearning it again (that's what life is all about 'learn, unlearn, relearn)... that conforming to the ways of the world does not bring you the true joy and happiness you richly deserve. That it can kick you out of track or shove you to the sides or down the cliff. I've seen this happen to friends close to me and I don't want that in my life, in my family.

Will be fine-tuning my radar on simplicity, honesty, sincerity, value, quality, on genuine thoughts intent content and purpose. Yeah, I know that could be difficult in a way -- with people wearing masks, with ofttimes things appearing differently on the surface (oh how it can!)... but... it would be worth the price in gold or so much more in digging in and finding it. One just has to seek them out to find them sometimes. It'll be the challenge.

Mom once told me....It's better, so much better, to be true to yourself... only then can you also be true to others and to the rest of the world and ----- GOD.

Bye for now! Back later.

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Back for a bit more.

You know, one can't really equate success with how much you have in your wallet. But some do. They say that money can do a lot of things for you... ease your way through difficult situations, difficult people, and a dozen other things which would seem hard to crack if you're in so much of a hurry. Money 'buys' your way through. I do have seen a lot of people do that 'cos they can afford to anyhow.. (rather than spend time effort and energy the conventional honest boring way). And that is looked upon by many as smart and successful. Funny, but that
looks more like losing bits of the soul every time money is used in that manner.
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I remember Mother say --
"if you want to attract abundance in your life, learn to open your hand, mind, and heart." I didn't understand that before as I was then young and full of self. But as the years rolled along and I got my share of experiences and life lessons... I found out what she meant. Give of yourself -- your time, energy, wisdom, truth, sympathy, strength, talent, faith -- all that you can use to serve others with. Share your blessings with sincere & honest openness and generosity without thought of gain or honor. And you'll be surprised how so much more is gained for yourself by losing 'you' to others. How can this be? It's simple. 'Whatsoever you shall sow, so shall you reap." Further, you gain for yourself a blessing each time you become a blessing to someone. Because that person would be lifting up ardent prayers to heaven for GOD to rain down tons of blessings upon you and your home.

Okay, am off for a bit. More later. Ciao!


Monday, January 21, 2008

LESSON 8 - TREASURE THE GOOD AND SPECIAL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE


In the hustle and bustle of living, many people cut across our way or breeze down our territory for some known or unknown reason. Perhaps God knows why or perhaps for something which the Universe conspires to cause in our life. In my small world there are such people but… I’m excluding the junk man, the newspaper boy, the mailman, the power guy, the phone guy, the water guy, and the wash woman who comes twice a week to do the laundry. Maybe include too the neighbors to that list because they simply are there meaning that they function as neighbors, period. But on second thought, that is purpose too, isn’t it? :-D

Well, let’s leave that and now come to the interesting part. I say interesting because it’s out of the ordinary run of everyday life and things. Sometimes a very special event makes its way to your door. But and this is the best part…. This is carried on the shoulders of a very special person. This someone who isn’t a person you get to see everyday or ordinarily deal with in the times of your life --- except for this one special moment or moments.

Through the years there have been individuals with that special quality. Men and women, old and young, rich and poor – makes no matter because it’s not the looks, position, wealth, or education that brought them to that very special spot. Whether that person is well endowed with such material attribute or attributes, still it won’t make a dent nor add to what has already effectively and superbly transpired.

I’m talking about KIND HEARTS and GENEROUS SOULS.

Need I say more? I think you get the idea.

What I want to say is – cherish these good people in your life. They’re like moonbeams and starry skies that take your breath away or gorgeous flowers in bloom which can brighten up any landscape anytime of day or a Christmas wish in summer when everybody else has stored their Christmas stockings away. They can bring both a smile and a tear to your eyes… and still feel very happy bout it. They present you with new hope, new dreams, new faith, and new joys. What they do somehow creates a bridge to that something which you find hard to achieve in the midst of a brewing ‘storm’. In a huge manner it restores your trust and confidence in life and people as a whole – the goodness therein which on some occasions seem to be quite obscure and vague. It’s that goodness which is being battered and buried deep beneath a mounting pile of rubble and garbage heaped on it by men and women of changing values in changing times. Intrinsic goodness is now passé. Smart and shrewd is ‘in’ they say. But I say goodness is still smart and shrewd with the right and genuine intention, honest motivation or reason, and cause. And some persons have a very special way with it. Luckily quite a good few have come my way through the years and recently.

I remember as a kid, my mom would say pointing out an extraordinary character…. ‘Remember that person well, he is good. Ask God to bless him!’ (Or ‘her’) That certainly would stir up my curiosity making me ask mother ‘why’. Then she would tell me, now I know. The name or names are forever etched in my heart that’s for sure. And indeed I have shot bullet prayers to Heaven asking God to bless them a hundredfold. I believe that as I pray – God repays.


Friday, January 18, 2008

LESSON 7 - MISSED THE NEW OPEN DOOR? -SO THEN LOOK AGAIN!

A new opened door-- now let me see. First, let me sort out the fog in my brain -- I see many closed doors and keys thrown out and which spun through several years. Some of those doors I wished were left open and some of those keys stored for safekeeping …perhaps to be taken out again at a future time desired.. But it couldn’t and wouldn’t. And of course a few of those closed doors and thrown-out keys may well be best kept that way. So then where does all that put me – still with a bunch of closed doors and thrown-out keys!

But we’re talking of happiness here… and not about a whole bunch of closed doors -- Just one door of happiness.

To questions what happiness is to me, I’ll say that Happiness is, among other things, a family – a complete one. And I suppose too to many people it is and when a member is lost or gone, a void stands in his or her stead. The idea of family thus crumbles along with that irreparable loss, one that none can fill. Family isn’t with an empty room devoid of the familiar presence -- now empty chair, empty plate, empty closet, and empty garage. That door of happiness then closes with finality… its key tied to a balloon that’s set free with an earnest prayer that it flies high where an angel will find it and bring it home to His throne. And maybe…

But… something seems to be nudging at my side. Is there something that I am missing? Then let’s walk through this foggy brain of mine.

Life, as I understand it, stops for no one or for anything. Oh I know that but it flew out the window back there when sorrow entered the front door. And it’s also true that it’s a big wide world out there with so much for everyone to explore, appreciate, and too be pleasantly surprised by. Further I have always believed that life won’t hold back on those things which would certainly help a person in his journey to learning, discovery, and wisdom. Isn’t that part of what and why we’re here for?

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see
the one which has been opened for us." -Helen Keller


With that thought I’d like to say --- “I’m ready”. I’m seeing the new open door. Yet… a brief moment of hesitation holds me rooted to the ground -- Because facing the unknown can be quite scary. It could lead one to anywhere, up to glory or down to misery. So then one tiny prayer now rises from my wobbly heart--- that God be my friend and companion and together we journey to happiness, peace, and blessing. Already I am grateful to a Magnificent God whose great love for His children, meaning us regardless of color, culture or creed -- is ever constant, unchanging and faithful.


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

LESSON 6 - DEAL RIGHT AWAY WITH WHAT IS MOST DIFFICULT

"There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult." -Rainer Maria Rilke

How I wish that we could choose our burdens. That’s wishful thinking I know, right, because it certainly isn’t so in real life. But if I were given the choice, I would ask the lighter and easy ones be given me first then bit by bit graduate to the hardest ones or most difficult. That way I would have grown or gained the necessary experience, strength, courage, expertise, understanding and wisdom to deal with the toughest ones when it comes.

Unfortunately that’s not the way the cookie crumbles. What happens is --without any fuss or ado the most difficult unmercifully hits you like a fierce bolt of lightning. And you stand there burned, seared and possibly blown up to bits and pieces with your guts scattered all over the floor. You won’t know what hit you ‘till you start shaking and this comes much later. Am I exaggerating? I must be lols… but neither do I want to see my brains spilled out on the floor like that. :-)

Ugly but alas that’s how it is. Nobody is ever prepared when the worst times come. Nor can anyone say to it… ‘Hey!, Come back another day, when I’m ready for you.’ You won’t have that precious time you may need to store up ammo sufficient to shoot it down to oblivion. No, you won’t get that… not today, tonight, nor tomorrow.

So what therefore does one do with that?

Just this...Deal with it right away. No if’s and but’s, you simply just dig in with everything you’ve got with a prayer that you’re doing it right. The problem is there, the lesson is there, the facts are there… except for the solution… and that’s what you’re hammering at with all of your might.

Don’t waste time wailing bout your sorry plight or state of affairs or lack of support. Some other guy must be having a much worse deal than yours, but I’m sure that he’s digging-in hard too just like you. And just like you, he is dealing with it right away and pursuing it with concerted effort and diligence. Way to go!

That’s what it’s all about, no special treatment but that you are asked to deal with what is most difficult now. No other way to go about it, but ‘just do it!’ That’s the Nike way and it does make sense.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

LESSON 5 - WORRY IS A RUSTY BLADE



Oh I know this piece comes close on the heels of the recent one posted. But I have made this promise to myself for the New Year --- which is that I will write more than what I have written in the past two years of blogging. So then, Blogspot, brace yourself for the onrush of new posts without constraint of time …other than the desire to write – write – write! Anyway let's get on with this. :-) (The lovely picture there is courtesy of Doug Evans of Canada, an old friend.)

It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy;
You can hardly put more on a man than he can bear.
But worry is rust upon the blade.
It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction.”

-Henry Ward Beecher

Friction is rubbing, chafing, abrasion, rasping, grating and resistance. Do we see ourselves something like that at some point in our lives? I’m sure that we all do. Not nice, huh? And the biggest friction there is in our lives is WORRY.

I don’t know where we ever got this or learned it from, but it has already become attached to living – worry is synonymous to a human being. Oh gee, isn’t that such a pessimistic and negative way of looking at a person?! Or even at life itself. A lot of friends I have talked to consider life and living as one big barrel of problems, trials, difficulties, tests, troubles, predicament or dilemma.

Oh but I’m not going to refute or disagree to that because I do know too that it is true. In fact, I think that there are tons and tons of issues and challenges that a person must deal with in his whole lifetime. No kidding. These could be minute issues or life-threatening or life-changing ones. And it may affect a person directly or indirectly in huge or small measure. But it is there as real as this bag of raisins I’m snacking on which, incidentally, is delicious!

Telling a person ‘not to worry’ is like asking him to tie his shoelaces with his mouth, or peel a banana with a thumb, or walk to the corner backwards with eyes closed! That --I wouldn’t even dare. Oh I know that somebody is going to tell me that we 'need' to worry to somehow get things done. Well, maybe that shouldn't be called 'worry'. Don't you think it's nicer to call it 'thinking your way through'? Thinking involves a good amount of mental activity. Worrying is definitely not thinking.

Still everybody worries; I do. I learned it when they started giving me homework in grade school. I worried that I wouldn’t get a star from my teacher, worried that I would see mom and dad frown at my report card, worried that my pet birdie would die, and worried that everybody would leave me and never come back. And when I grew up the worries just seem to grow bigger and bigger and plentiful. Nobody ever told me not to worry… I guess it’s because they too had their own worries to take care of. It showed on their faces, in their behavior, in their voices, and in the way they look at you. I could understand that; I was behaving just like them.

But now as I am much older I realize what a waste of time, effort, energy and life it is to worry. I see that nothing is ever achieved by knocking your brains out worrying. It won’t move mountains nor cause the sea to part nor make solutions pop up like magic nor improve your life a notch higher. No, worry does not bring about those things.

Worry though does cause something – a friction uniquely its own. It grates on your nerves, rubs old wounds open anew, saps you of productive energy, and drains away enthusiasm in a steady defeating stream.

Now I have learned the hard way that there is a better way to ‘worry’...

Give it your best shot with possible solutions within your control, worry not and PRAY. Leave the rest to God. And don’t ever think of worrying whether He will or He will not --- help. We know the answer to that, don’t we? Faith moves mountains. Worry is indeed rust upon the blade. Can't cut well with a rusty blade.


LESSON 4 - THE STEEL MAGNOLIAS IN OUR MIDST SHOW US HOW TO LIVE


‘Steel Magnolias’ is the title of a lovely movie I saw one late night on TV. It describes a person (persons in this particular movie) of combined tender gentle qualities alongside that of steady strength --- a calm quiet force.

It made me think of people, friends particularly I have known through the years, which have gone through the worst of times and yet stood 10 feet tall -- Such indomitable spirit and courage in facing life’s trials, setbacks, and burdens. Amazing, isn’t it? We thus would heap on them a lot of good names in appreciation and admiration of their sterling qualities but I must admit that nothing beats this apt description as a -- Steel Magnolia.

What’s a magnolia? It’s a beautiful flower as shown in the picture above. And a flower is best described as soft, velvety, fragile, delicate, frail, and silky -- Qualities commonly attributed to women or the so-called weaker sex.

Steel, on the other hand, is rigid, inflexible, hard, unbending, firm, solid, durable, sturdy, tough, and strong – qualities too used to describe the male specie.

I think you are getting the full picture now.

A steel magnolia incorporates the best of two opposites --- the gentleness of a flower and the strength of steel that suggests the quality of hardness of mind and spirit --- creating a calm quiet subtle force and power of its own.

There are many of them, women particularly, who trudge on with their difficult lives, situations, relationships, circumstances, conditions and challenges. All for a reason visible or invisible and although their reasons may vary with their different life stories but the fortitude, purpose, and determination they possess are the same.

I salute these women – the Steel Magnolias of our time. I dare not judge them for their lives --- not until I am able to know their hearts because it is there where the real stories truly reside. How magnificent is the Lord for making this possible in an ordinary fragile imperfect human being. May God bless them all!


Friday, January 11, 2008

LESSON #3 - PRAY FOR COURAGE - STRENGTH - HUMOR


Anne Morrow Lindbergh :
"Don't wish me happiness
I don't expect to be happy all the time...
It's gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor.
I will need them all. "

Sneha, a beautiful person and soul, sent this poem to me in the blog. The first time I set my eyes on those lines.. tears came to my eyes. How true are those lines to the feelings I had in my heart. Many times well-meaning friends tried as best as they could to make me happy .. hoping that I would take rest from the burden of sorrow and grief. I know they try so hard but sometimes it just does not work.

But on thinking hard about it all I began to realize that this is not right. I don't have to remain in this misery and pass up on the wonderful things which life still has to offer. The sun still shines, flowers bloom their prettiest, new babies are born every minute, people still fall in love and get married, rivers and streams flow merrily, trees stand tall in the wind, and I can get back to my favorite morning walks, eat my favorite pasta, drink my cappuccino at Thor's coffee shop, and meet up with my lady friends for lunch on the 14th condo floor . I can still do a lot of things - life does not stand still even for those who mourn. So ...to you Sneha, thank you so much for this lovely quote. And I hope that you will include me in your prayers... for I humbly have asked God for courage, strength, and humor too.

That I may have the........

Courage to face life's tests and difficulties. There will always be those in anyone's life. There's no guarantee that because you've been through the most difficult trial that nothing more will come after that. Wish that it won't and didn't ..but we know better -- life loves playing bad jokes on us.

Strength to stand my ground when strong winds blow. Not to grow weak nor falter despite the hard hits and the bruises received from it. To be strong to accept the inevitable and the unexpected and change. And the strength to be weak and diminish.. to enable God's strength to take over and increase in my life and situation.

Humor to see the lighter side of things in life even in the midst of heartaches and troubles. To laugh at one's frailties and shortcomings. Simply to laugh with self, people, and life.

Yes truly...
wish me courage, strength, and humor..... I will need them all!


PRAY FOR COURAGE - STRENGTH - HUMOR

by Anne Morrow Lindbergh – “

"Don't wish me happiness
I don't expect to be happy all the time...
It's gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor.
I will need them all. "


Sneha, a beautiful person and soul, sent this to me in my blog


Monday, January 7, 2008

LESSON 2 - WHEN A BAD DAY OVERSTAYS, REV UP YOUR COPING MECHANISM TO HIGH GEAR

I don’t like bad days as much as the next guy but bad days come whether we like it or not. Bad days can take on different forms and comes to us in different ways---

disaster, accident, illness, death, failure, separation, defeat, disappointment, embarrassment, betrayal… or a horrendous traffic jam, a missed flight, a missed out contract, a big hole in our best suit, termites in the basement, an overstaying house guest, a bad report card, car not cranking up, and even more.


My bad day happened on that day in November 2007 and stayed on for days and down to weeks and on to months. So how do you make an overstaying bad day go away? The answer is --- you can’t. With my kind of bad day I just lived through it -- all that a bad day gave me but managed albeit frantically to throw my own punches back at it hoping to knock it out into smithereens. The thing is… it didn’t because bad days are as rigid as a rock and solid as a mountain. So poor tiny me was no match to this monster intent to ruin me and everything I stood for.

But hey, this was not just an ordinary bad day -- this was something that had the potential to alter my life and my family which I knew and sensed. And I had no control over it. It was like a rampaging bull going berserk and rammed through all obstacles of hope courage faith and confidence which stood on its way. It upset routine and schedules, disturbed peaceful nights; it piled on the worries and anxieties, it tore down courage and strength, and punched huge holes in the family coffers. It fiercely uprooted everything I believed in on faith and trust. It succeeded to turn me into a mess and a nervous wreck. I turned into its worst creation and product.

I behaved like a mechanical toy or a robot programmed to respond in predictable manner. No thinking required there. I was numb, weak in the knees; senses dulled, thoughts cluttered, and heart thumping loudly I believed it stopped traffic!

But you know something…. at some point there, something makes you halt and stop - look real hard at things happening around you… its effect on you and the people you love. It hits you real hard jogging your brain cells back to thinking again.

Your coping mechanism begins to restore itself. And what you have to do now is to rev it up to high gear and get flying. Shore up your strength courage faith guts vigor belief. See the situation for what it is, for what hope it may hold, for possibilities that could move you up to help and safety a notch higher, and to get you out of there - the deep abyss - with your heart and soul in one piece.

Rev up your coping mechanism. Do it yourself because nobody is going to do that for you. Energize, recharge yourself if you must. Borrow other people’s strength to boost your own. Seek the power of prayer. Connect with good and supportive family and friends; there is power too in numbers. Discipline your mind and heart to be still and calm; do not clutter it with worry and anxiety no matter how hard that will be in practice.

If you succeed to do at least two or three of these things, you will have acquired for yourself a fair chance for peace and stability, understanding and wisdom. And believe me --- it’s going to help you go through the long stretch ahead and down to its final end.

Bad days --- it can’t destroy us, no! Because a wise God when he created us put in place a built-in coping mechanism in our system meant for life’s bad days, short-lived or extended. All we have to do is learn how to rev it up --- to the max!!

.....continued


Thursday, January 3, 2008

WHAT LIFE TAUGHT ME THIS TIME (Lesson 1)

I shall not go over the nitty-ditty details of the recent events from the time he was rushed to the hospital and down to the internment. No. Those should now be kept in the vault of memories only to be taken out in private moments sometime in the present or somewhere in the future. So then I’m locking the vault now and putting aside the key. Let me tell you something else but not apart from the experience I have been through. Fact is, these things grew out from it - rather were formed by it.

Remember the many times I have said in the blogs that life always has a lesson or lessons stacked up for us to learn as we travel our respective life journeys? Oh yes, the lessons are there indeed… but then we must try to find out what they are.

Allow me then to share with you these lessons, in random order (these may take several posts), which life has heaped upon me and my children’s small frail shoulders just recently. Some or most of it you may have heard before but you know what, it’s quite different when these things happen to you in a strong dramatic way like it did to me. It impacts you much harder than when you simply hear bout it or see it in other people’s lives. Seeing it and living it are apparently and hugely not the same.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

LESSON 1 - FAMILIAL LOVE IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

Tell me who stays through the long endless stressful days and sleepless nights when a family member is seriously sick? Who bears the brunt of inconvenience, discomfort, futility, distress, disappointment, fear, anxiety, discouragement, and purse disasters? And yet fiercely holds on to a thin thread of hope regardless? Who loves unconditionally despite and through the hurt and pain? Who pretends to be strong when in truth strength is steadily draining away? Who bombards the heavens with ardent pleas for miracles? Who puts on a brave smile despite the crash of emotions in the heart and tears wanting to gush out of the floodgates of one’s eyes?

The FAMILY! --Father, mother, son, daughter, sister, brother… And maybe too your extended family, as some homes include that. I praise and thank God for the blessings of my family!

Nobody can love you like your family does. Nobody can bear up with your unlovable ways and flaws and traits. Nobody can forgive you your faults easily. Nobody can continue believing in you despite the visible signs pointing to your destruction. Nobody can see you better, your good and bad, and still stubbornly make excuses for your noticeable imperfections. Nobody will stand by you through thick and thin. Nobody prays for you harder and hardest. Nobody but nobody will love you for who you are and not for what they think you should be.

So now if you have been treating your family as second class citizens of your life and home… or setting them down on the sidelines on your list of priorities… or taking them for granted because you think they will always be there for you… or have always been inconsiderate of their feelings… or ordered them around like servants and slaves… or shout at them for disrupting your work… or demand that they put your interest and wishes first above the rest… or keep them awake nights waiting for you and you come home drunk… or badgered them with your repeated nagging on nonsensical things… or set very high standards for them to keep up with while you yourself break some rules… or be so unreasonably impatient and annoyed by their imperfections and mistakes… or make no effort to talk with them or ask about their day… and many more.

Then you are up to losing the most precious people in the world in your life one sad day. Maybe not outright because sometimes the hurt and pain can pile up slowly unnoticed bit by bit through the years until it becomes a mountain of bitterness and resentment which will finally at some point break that person and shatter the home. This can happen to the best of families, to the best of people wherever in the world.

Are you going to wait for that to happen to your family? --To you?

Continued


WHAT HAS LIFE TAUGHT ME THIS TIME (Lesson 1)

I shall not go over the nitty-ditty details of the recent events from the time he was rushed to the hospital and down to the internment. No. Those should now be kept in the vault of memories only to be taken out in private moments sometime in the present or somewhere in the future. So then I’m locking the vault now and putting aside the key.

Let me tell you something else but not apart from the experience I have been through. Fact is, these things grew out from it… rather were formed by it.

Remember the many times I have said in the blogs that life always has a lesson or lessons stacked up for us to learn as we travel our respective life journeys? Oh yes, the lessons are there indeed… but then we must try to find out what they are.

Allow me then to share with you these lessons, in random order (these may take several posts), which life has heaped upon my and my children’s small frail shoulders just recently. Some or most of it you may have heard before but you know what, it’s quite different when these things happen to you in a strong dramatic way like it did to me. It impacts you much harder than when you simply hear bout it or see it in other people’s lives. Seeing it and living it are apparently and hugely not the same.

-------------------------------------


LESSON 1 - FAMILIAL LOVE IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

Tell me who stays through the long endless stressful days and sleepless nights when a family member is seriously sick? Who bears the brunt of inconvenience, discomfort, futility, distress, disappointment, fear, anxiety, discouragement, and purse disasters? And yet fiercely holds on to a thin thread of hope regardless? Who loves unconditionally despite and through the hurt and pain? Who pretends to be strong when in truth strength is steadily draining away? Who bombards the heavens with ardent pleas for miracles? Who puts on a brave smile despite the crash of emotions in the heart and tears wanting to gush out of the floodgates of one’s eyes?

The FAMILY! --Father, mother, sister, brother… And maybe too your extended family, as some homes include that.

Nobody can love you like your family does. Nobody can bear up with your unlovable ways and flaws and traits. Nobody can forgive you your faults easily. Nobody can continue believing in you despite the visible signs pointing to your destruction. Nobody can see you better, your good and bad, and still stubbornly make excuses for your noticeable imperfections. Nobody will stand by you through thick and thin. Nobody prays for you harder and hardest. Nobody but nobody will love you for who you are and not for what they think you should be.

So now if you have been treating your family as second class citizens of your life and home… or setting them down on the sidelines on your list of priorities… or taking them for granted because you think they will always be there for you… or have always been inconsiderate of their feelings… or ordered them around like servants and slaves… or shout at them for disrupting your work… or demand that they put your interest and wishes first above the rest… or keep them awake nights waiting for you and you come home drunk… or badgered them with your repeated nagging on nonsensical things… or set very high standards for them to keep up with while you yourself break some rules… or be so unreasonably impatient and annoyed by their imperfections and mistakes… or make no effort to talk with them or ask about their day… and many more.

Then you are up to losing the most precious people in the world in your life one sad day. Maybe not outright because sometimes the hurt and pain can pile up slowly unnoticed bit by bit through the years until it becomes a mountain of bitterness and resentment which will finally at some point break down that person.

Are you going to wait for that to happen to your family? --To you?

Continued