Thursday, January 3, 2008


I shall not go over the nitty-ditty details of the recent events from the time he was rushed to the hospital and down to the internment. No. Those should now be kept in the vault of memories only to be taken out in private moments sometime in the present or somewhere in the future. So then I’m locking the vault now and putting aside the key.

Let me tell you something else but not apart from the experience I have been through. Fact is, these things grew out from it… rather were formed by it.

Remember the many times I have said in the blogs that life always has a lesson or lessons stacked up for us to learn as we travel our respective life journeys? Oh yes, the lessons are there indeed… but then we must try to find out what they are.

Allow me then to share with you these lessons, in random order (these may take several posts), which life has heaped upon my and my children’s small frail shoulders just recently. Some or most of it you may have heard before but you know what, it’s quite different when these things happen to you in a strong dramatic way like it did to me. It impacts you much harder than when you simply hear bout it or see it in other people’s lives. Seeing it and living it are apparently and hugely not the same.



Tell me who stays through the long endless stressful days and sleepless nights when a family member is seriously sick? Who bears the brunt of inconvenience, discomfort, futility, distress, disappointment, fear, anxiety, discouragement, and purse disasters? And yet fiercely holds on to a thin thread of hope regardless? Who loves unconditionally despite and through the hurt and pain? Who pretends to be strong when in truth strength is steadily draining away? Who bombards the heavens with ardent pleas for miracles? Who puts on a brave smile despite the crash of emotions in the heart and tears wanting to gush out of the floodgates of one’s eyes?

The FAMILY! --Father, mother, sister, brother… And maybe too your extended family, as some homes include that.

Nobody can love you like your family does. Nobody can bear up with your unlovable ways and flaws and traits. Nobody can forgive you your faults easily. Nobody can continue believing in you despite the visible signs pointing to your destruction. Nobody can see you better, your good and bad, and still stubbornly make excuses for your noticeable imperfections. Nobody will stand by you through thick and thin. Nobody prays for you harder and hardest. Nobody but nobody will love you for who you are and not for what they think you should be.

So now if you have been treating your family as second class citizens of your life and home… or setting them down on the sidelines on your list of priorities… or taking them for granted because you think they will always be there for you… or have always been inconsiderate of their feelings… or ordered them around like servants and slaves… or shout at them for disrupting your work… or demand that they put your interest and wishes first above the rest… or keep them awake nights waiting for you and you come home drunk… or badgered them with your repeated nagging on nonsensical things… or set very high standards for them to keep up with while you yourself break some rules… or be so unreasonably impatient and annoyed by their imperfections and mistakes… or make no effort to talk with them or ask about their day… and many more.

Then you are up to losing the most precious people in the world in your life one sad day. Maybe not outright because sometimes the hurt and pain can pile up slowly unnoticed bit by bit through the years until it becomes a mountain of bitterness and resentment which will finally at some point break down that person.

Are you going to wait for that to happen to your family? --To you?


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