Monday, January 7, 2008


I don’t like bad days as much as the next guy but bad days come whether we like it or not. Bad days can take on different forms and comes to us in different ways---

disaster, accident, illness, death, failure, separation, defeat, disappointment, embarrassment, betrayal… or a horrendous traffic jam, a missed flight, a missed out contract, a big hole in our best suit, termites in the basement, an overstaying house guest, a bad report card, car not cranking up, and even more.

My bad day happened on that day in November 2007 and stayed on for days and down to weeks and on to months. So how do you make an overstaying bad day go away? The answer is --- you can’t. With my kind of bad day I just lived through it -- all that a bad day gave me but managed albeit frantically to throw my own punches back at it hoping to knock it out into smithereens. The thing is… it didn’t because bad days are as rigid as a rock and solid as a mountain. So poor tiny me was no match to this monster intent to ruin me and everything I stood for.

But hey, this was not just an ordinary bad day -- this was something that had the potential to alter my life and my family which I knew and sensed. And I had no control over it. It was like a rampaging bull going berserk and rammed through all obstacles of hope courage faith and confidence which stood on its way. It upset routine and schedules, disturbed peaceful nights; it piled on the worries and anxieties, it tore down courage and strength, and punched huge holes in the family coffers. It fiercely uprooted everything I believed in on faith and trust. It succeeded to turn me into a mess and a nervous wreck. I turned into its worst creation and product.

I behaved like a mechanical toy or a robot programmed to respond in predictable manner. No thinking required there. I was numb, weak in the knees; senses dulled, thoughts cluttered, and heart thumping loudly I believed it stopped traffic!

But you know something…. at some point there, something makes you halt and stop - look real hard at things happening around you… its effect on you and the people you love. It hits you real hard jogging your brain cells back to thinking again.

Your coping mechanism begins to restore itself. And what you have to do now is to rev it up to high gear and get flying. Shore up your strength courage faith guts vigor belief. See the situation for what it is, for what hope it may hold, for possibilities that could move you up to help and safety a notch higher, and to get you out of there - the deep abyss - with your heart and soul in one piece.

Rev up your coping mechanism. Do it yourself because nobody is going to do that for you. Energize, recharge yourself if you must. Borrow other people’s strength to boost your own. Seek the power of prayer. Connect with good and supportive family and friends; there is power too in numbers. Discipline your mind and heart to be still and calm; do not clutter it with worry and anxiety no matter how hard that will be in practice.

If you succeed to do at least two or three of these things, you will have acquired for yourself a fair chance for peace and stability, understanding and wisdom. And believe me --- it’s going to help you go through the long stretch ahead and down to its final end.

Bad days --- it can’t destroy us, no! Because a wise God when he created us put in place a built-in coping mechanism in our system meant for life’s bad days, short-lived or extended. All we have to do is learn how to rev it up --- to the max!!



  1. dear Ellen,
    very sorry to hear about your husband's passing away ..
    knowing you and your indomitable spirit ,i'm confident you will continue to think of others , spread joy,and look at life anew a positive way .
    My thoughts are with you ,
    take care

  2. How lovely to see you here, Frenchita. And thank you for your message thoughts and friendship.

    Indeed life must go on and we can do no less but face it and to quote you 'in a positive way'. You are so right and I thank you for it.

    I'll say it again... it's good seeing you again. Always take care. God bless you with all good things this new year.

    Though much belated.... still
    Happy New Year to you and your family.

  3. Hi Ellen,
    Awesome post, and I'm sure it was a hard one to write.
    As you said we need to rev it up into high gear! I see a bad day as a test...God is testing us and asking us...Will you still stand? Will you still seek me?

    Our Father can forsee these days coming and indeed has given us that life preserver, he wont let us drown in our sorrow.
    He is yet strengthening us!

    Blessings to you & keep praying,

  4. ellen, am so sorry... hadnt been over to ur blog for quite a long time... sorry about ur loss...
    yes, some bad days just stay on and on...Then the mind tries to find comfort and rev up the coping skills... yes, as u said... bad days cant destroy u, it just gives u a chance to renew ur faith in the will of god...may god be with u

  5. You guessed right, Regina, writing it brought back sad memories... still fresh. But writing it helped in some way to ease the burden of loneliness. Strange but true.

    You know, all through that long difficult episode of our life... God stood as our anchor.. holding me and my children together as we courageously faced our battles. God led us to safety, for sure.

    Thank you for your message; love it every time you drop by. Your kindness and gift of encouragement is such comfort.

  6. How wonderful to see you here, Maya!

    I like those words you've written... '...bad days cant destroy u, it just gives u a chance to renew ur faith in the will of god..' Beautiful!

    Take care, won't you please? And it's not too late for this.... I wish you and your family a blessed New Year.


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