I had a cousin who would give me that stern look whenever she’d see me laze around the house, her house by the way (I stayed with them in the city while I was job hunting) savoring the moment. But of course the chores were all done (my share of the day’s routine) and it felt good that there was nothing left to do after. But she just couldn’t take it seeing me so content and happy with the moment enjoying myself. She may have thought me quite weird perhaps and in the same manner I thought she was weird too for not appreciating her day comfy and worry-free.
Well, okay I wasn’t always like that. It was some wisdom which came to me a bit later through my struggling years. I used to be the kind who would fret and worry over the slightest mishap or teeny-weeny irregularity in the day. Always was anticipating doom or catastrophes to happen and never could believe that there was something good in the day to celebrate or be happy about. Nor had the right to enjoy that either.
Can you believe that? Gee, I must have been difficult to live with – difficult for others, difficult to myself. Either way you look at it was one sorry losing game.
What made it even more unappealing (to put it lightly) were the people around me. They made me feel that life should be spent scurrying to-and-fro in pursuit of ambition… that I had no right to ease up a bit and smile while struggling for the coveted goal. They made me feel bad not to be working ASAP and guilty that I sought respite briefly from struggling to rest my weary heart and bones. Their idea of success was lopsided as I later on learned -- a lofty title, a juicy job offer, material wealth, membership in exclusive clubs, driving a big car, owning a house with 5 -6 bedrooms. And that it doesn’t matter if you have to work yourself dry to the bones doing it. Yes, I know that too is success – material success. But mom, I remember, told me long ago after my graduation that whatever it is that I so love doing and is good at -- is called success. And that being successful on my own terms is more satisfying than one based or built on other people’s standards
.
That sure helped me see things in a better light and eased the burden of proving myself in the shortest possible time pronto. I then learned to sit back and relax, to enjoy family and friends, to celebrate occasions, to seek out the good in the day and every day, to like just being me and alive, to appreciate my achievements big or small, to look around me and savor the lovely things of nature, to romp around with my pets, and to be grateful to a magnificent God who made all these happen.
"If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year.
Today should always be our most wonderful day." -- Thomas Dreier
Wow! Get a load of that quote. I like it. I think that would effectively remove the feelings of guilt most people have in wanting to enjoy life – today. C'mon, do it -- enjoy your day TODAY! It should be our most wonderful day. Everything that is worth doing is in our today, not tomorrow or next year. When you do it over and over and over --- soon you will have made for yourself 365 WONDERFUL days. And so much more! :-)
You are totally right. make this your most wonderful day. We are not promised tomorrow so we need to stop procrastinating and live our life today!
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome post & great quote!
Blessings, Regina
Hi Regina,
ReplyDeleteYes, it would be such a wonderful world if we all learned to make our todays the greatest of our life, that we need not whine over lost yesterdays nor fret over tomorrows which we aren't even sure would come. So all that we really have is the present day. Why not then make it the best and the most wonderful we could ever make of it? :-D
But it's never too late to learn.
God bless you and your loved ones.
Hey Good Morning Ellen,
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back in full swing. I hope your husband is doing fine now.
The post sounds very familiar and I would fully agree to the lines in red.
Take care and Keep Smiling :)
Sumit
Hi Sumit,
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you. How's everything at your end these days? :-)
Familiar, but of course. Many have written about it cos many are now convinced that it's the only way to live life -- in the here and now. Some of us may have learned it already, and then some just about, and then again others still getting there. But the important thing is -- we now understand how essential our TODAYS are.
Thanks for your good wish for hubby, we're all trying to get our lives back to normalcy as best as we can. There's still much to do up ahead.. but we have our hearts all hung up on God's Christmas tree with a big wish for this to pass. All things come to pass...just like the seasons which come and go.
Thanks for this lovely visit. Be well and happy. May peace and joy and love reign in your home forever, through a wonderful God.
:-)
I used to be unable to see past material success. Nearly every one I knew (at home or school) was the same. It was a very heavy suitcase to carry around indeed! Fortunately I found my way eventually. If only I had access to your blog/wisdom back then Ellen...
ReplyDeleteBut regret! Now there's another heavy suitcase ;-)
Ya, i agree with you - material success may be glittering but may not be satisfying. I think the people in pursuit of material success are out to make others happy even as they believe they do it all for themselves. But I think there is no harm in working hard for so much as you require for a good leaving, but not any more and certainly not so much as will make your bones go dry. I think there is a lot more to just sitting and enjoying a warm sun, the gurgling of restless river, froliking kittens as you ruminate about the past...life has so much to offer.
ReplyDeleteIndrasish.
What appears to be quite 'late' isn't really, Joel. Remember that everything happens for a reason? So if you had to go through that part of your life then... it needed to happen. Because the learning became even more appreciated in the latter part or end part of the story. That was the reason for 'late'. :-) No regrets. There should be no room for that cos eventually, as you have said, you found your way to wisdom.
ReplyDeleteThrow away your suitcase of 'regret'. lol :-) It'll only weigh you down. You should be free to fly out on wings of wisdom knowledge and discovery.
More power to you. God bless you!!
I agree, Indrasish, 'life has so much more to offer'. But do you really think so that "...... the people in pursuit of material success are out to make others happy even as they believe they do it all for themselves." I'd like to explore this thought some more.
ReplyDeleteWhat is essential perhaps is a good balance in life --- work and living. It's something that should be learned early in life though to set down the habit. Because I have heard it often said that old habits are harder to change, good or bad. So when bad habits or attitudes get stuck in your system, it would take a lot of work to extricate them and be replaced with good ones. Taking on wonderful days requires a good amount of positivity in a person. Unfortunately, that seems to be where most of us mortals crumble. :-)
It's great to see you again, Indrasish. Hope all's well at your end. Do have a good day. God bless you!
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteplease find time to read my message in the comment section os "you can be great" post.
Will find time to posts my experience on job hunt as and when I find time.
Keep blogging,
Love
Chunks
Don't worry, Chunks. Any new comment in the blog does not go unnoticed or missed. Because a notice is sent to me in gmail informing of new comments/messages in the blog. I saw your message in You Can Be Great.. and have replied to it accordingly right there. :-)
ReplyDeleteHeyy, that would be interesting re: your experiences in job hunting. Will be looking forward to it.
See you soon. Regards to Sneha.
God bless you and your family.
By the way, Chunks, thank you for asking bout my hubby. He is recovering and for which I am so thankful to God.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Chunks, for your prayers. Also that of Sneha. It feel so good to have friends like you by my side in my time of trouble. Thank you for your wonderful friendship.
Ya Elen, I really think that the people in pursuit of material success are out to make others happy even as they believe they do it all for themselves. Because it doesn't take much for an individual to spend his life well, then why do some remain in pursuit of wealth until the very end. The answer is they save for their posterity...they also ensure a good life for the people around them - their wife, siblings, etc. I also think pursuit of material success becomes an addiction, like many other things, after sometime: The more you get the more you want. Acquirement of wealth more than you require to ensure a comfortable life for yourself is a selfless pursuit while being in puruit of otherwordly/unmaterialistic happiness is a selfish one. But be that as it may, I enjoy a warm sun, the gurgling of restless river and froliking kittens more than more than the mindless chase of 'success'. But can't the two coexist? I agree - work and life balance is important and perhaps relevant here.
ReplyDeleteIndrasish.
Hello, Indrasish,
ReplyDeleteI like your message for the many insights contained in it. It will be good to explore those thoughts further. But I will have to get back to you later because I have to get dinner ready in a bit. :-D Will post a message later today. So bye for for now! See yah!
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteYou are right. I too used to worry a lot about little things but now I have got over that and enjoy the life as it comes. Thanks for reassuring that.
Take care
Niceguy251
Hi Indrasish,
ReplyDeleteYou know, I find it very interesting to exchange thoughts, ideas, opinions in the blog. So when I saw your message, I was delighted to see you put down your insights and impressions on the subject. Unfortunately I had to leave then cos it was close to dinnertime. But here I am now to contribute to our topic.
>>On the subject of people who are so fiercely driven to acquire wealth or material possessions....
--The stories I have read (and there were many) have revealed to me the deep-rooted motivation or stimulus of those who are out for material success. More often than not from the beginning of their personal quest, one can see or sense the chase born out of selfish interests, self preservation, or dominance. It rises from a fierce ambition to make money to get very rich or to cultivate connections with power to enhance his own power circle or aim to establish a monopoly in his business of choice. Vested self-interest and altruism rarely do mix well, if not at all. When all that is in a person’s head and heart is self-centered, there can’t any room left there for thinking or caring for the welfare or interest of others. These two don’t work well side by side. Relatively, in such a situation the first to suffer are a person’s family or relationships which are often neglected or relegated to the bottom rank of that person’s list of priorities. Remember the wisdom passed on to us by our elders that …. ‘Nobody can serve two masters equally well at the same time’. Meaning that one or the other is bound to succeed or suffer.
--Wisdom is acquired in different ways and means. And some have it in great measure while others still are searching hard for it but no doubt will eventually come to it during or at the end of the journey. But when, no one knows. To know how to spend life well takes a good amount of wisdom and understanding and insight. Life is quite complex that it would easily bewilder or overwhelm the ordinary person. Only when a person has gathered enough experience, learned life’s lessons, and by that became wise… would he then be able to know how to spend his life well.
--Any ordinary regular person can very well save for the secure future of his parents, his own family, and even his extended family. It all takes some hard work, good money management and smart life planning. On the other hand, a person who is so driven in his selfish pursuit of material wealth and may have achieved it somehow....will have the security and comfort of others least in his own mind (as I’ve said earlier). He's out there to make it for himself. The idea that the people closest to him or around him also benefit from his wealth doesn’t necessarily mean that they were the real reason that he doggedly pursued wealth – or that he aimed to be the wealthiest person in the world just for them. Always see what motivates the person to do what he aims or sets out to do. Men of great wealth started out from self-centered desires, interests, dreams, ambitions, and motivations. It is the man alone who decides his destiny. He does not do it prodded by or out of concern for others in an unselfish altruistic thought. History tells us that people who consider others first before their own interests – end up losing wealth rather than making it.
--There are stories bout very wealthy people who in their latter years have engaged or supported charitable causes turning themselves successfully into philanthropists. This may not be the rule but rather the exception.
Well, Indrasish, thank you for the pleasure of exchanging thoughts with you. Hope we can do this again.
God bless you and your family.
Ellen
Hi niceguy,
ReplyDeleteThat makes two of us learning that lesson well. :-) I too have learned to enjoy life one day at a time. It may be hard at first, but when we get the knack of doing it.. we begin to discover how beautiful life is.
Take care okay? May God bless you and your family with peace joy and happiness.
Ellen
Hi Ellen..
ReplyDeleteLong time!!
How r things at home.. Hope u r doing fine..
I hv been as absorbed in my work as ever.. just wanted to check about ur hubby with u..
Do let me know and take care :))
God Bless!
I had visited your blog to find out what you had to say on my point. Elen, you have torn my point to shreds...it was nice receiving some wisdom. Mine was just a brainwave I had while reading your blog and yours are very soundly thought time-tested wisdom.
ReplyDeleteIndrasish.
Oh that's so sweet of you, Kamesh. Thank you. We're back home but things are not over yet. Although he is back at work.. still there is the angiogram to do; we're working on that one. Right now, his new routine is a dialysis twice a week.
ReplyDeleteI must say that this is such a weight on our shoulders now.. but by the grace of God I am sure we will be alright.
What I will be needing are tons of prayers to accompany me in this particular journey.
Take care now, Kamesh. Ease up a bit, okay? May God continue to pour out his wonderful blessings upon you and your dear ones.
God bless!!
My dear Indrasish,
ReplyDeleteA mentor can teach, but if his teachings fall on deaf ears... nothing comes out of it all. On the other hand, when the student listens not only with his head but also with his heart... then wisdom settles into his home and stays there for good.
You are excellent because you listened well and understood... and with such honest humility and openness. Rare qualities I must say. Such ability is one I so admire in individuals. And such differentiates extraordinary from ordinary. It is my honor and pleasure to have met you,Indrasish.
Ah! let's have more of such discussions soon. I expect that you will? :-)
So then, until we meet again.
Take care always.
God bless you.
Ellen
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteOf course my prayers and wishes are with you and I hope that you are your hubby are thru with this phase of life at the earliest :)
Take Care n God Bless :)
Thank you, Kamesh; it's appreciated. It's so nice too that you dropped by tonight. Always great to see a fine person and friend in the blog. Take care always and God bless.
ReplyDeleteHi Dear:-)))
ReplyDeleteHow are you??
thats the best thing:-)))
I beleive in tomoorow... but never think of it...
What if I want to eat pizza today eat it....nobody knows may be tomoorrow pizzas are banned:PPPP
Heyy chakoli! That's a good one. Yeahhhh... what if they suddenly think of banning pizzas tomorrow!! Gosh! So I have to have my pizza today -- garlic and cheese or manager's choice with everything in it -- mushrooms, anchovies, green pepper, sausage, ham, fresh tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese! yup yum-yum!! :-D Join me, Cha, and with coke. How does that sound to you? lol :-D
ReplyDeleteYummmmyyyyyyyyy
ReplyDeleteWill surely join you:-)))
I ll prefer sprite rather then coke, although both are equivalently bad fr ur haeth:-)))
So hw r u??
Yah, softdrinks are no good. How bout fruit juice instead? I'll take a tall glass of lemonade anytime. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh am okay now, Chaks; thank you. I hope you are too at your end. Wrote anything light in your blog lately? The last time I was there you wrote on India, on a serious note. But it was good. So I'll be checking in every now and then and see what there is more to learn bout India.
Until then, always take care. Let's be in touch. God bless you.
hi Ellen!
ReplyDeleteu r amazing writer with lovely flow of practical thoughts!
ur posts always solve my problems...
sometime i feel u r writing for me, u inspire me a lot...
today i was not feeling well, and i jumped to ur post, and realized the importance of being happy n cheerful all the time...
i do feel guilty, that i am not there to stand by you, when u r having tough time... but my wishes r there...
wish & hope we will meet one day...
till then lots of love to u n ur family...
You know, Amit, one's thoughts can fly and cross borders and boundaries easily where the physical cannot. So your wishes are more than sufficient to help me going through tough times. Do not feel guilty over not being here by my side in my time of distress. Sometimes thoughts transcend the physical limitations of man. Thoughts have a power of its own -- an energy -- which when directed to someone or something will do what it's been set out to do. Use your powerful thoughts to better other people's lives or ease their burden or give comfort and encouragement. Distance is no matter at all because thoughts can't be blocked or prevented from doing its assigned task.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like prayer, Amit. Praying for others is so powerful that God himself encourages us to pray incessantly for each other.
Thus rest your mind, Amit, your best wishes have reached me now and comforted my weary mind and heart. Thank you so much.
I pray that God pour down upon you a hundredfold the same wishes you have sent out to me.. and even more. My warm regards to your family. Who knows, anything is possible... maybe one day we will get to meet. God willing. :-)
Hello Ellen...
ReplyDeleteThis is probably my first visit to your blog, although, you have visited my website a couple of times....
Its nice to read through this post... To add to this quote, here is something that I read sometime back...
"If i were forever living in the past brooding over what happened and if I were forever worried about the future about what will happen, I would never enjoy the gift called my present"
A nice post....
Regards,
Manoj
http://o3.indiatimes.com/manojtalks/
I'm glad to see you here, Manoj. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, that is such a lovely quote. I would like to use it in some future writing, if you don't mind. Thank you for leaving me your link; I went there and left message for you. :-)
Hope all's fine at your end and that you and your family are all well and good. May God continue to bless you and everyone in your home.
Yup....
ReplyDeleteI wud agree to it...and join u with orange juice:-)))
about my blog...life is just about sometimes to be serious and soemtimes to be funny or weirdo:-)))
Thanks dear...
keep visting:-)))
and u too take a good care:-))
Heyyy, Chakoli!
ReplyDeleteOkay, orange juice for you and lemonade for me. :-)
You're right too bout life, it's a mix of everything. lol so let's enjoy it... give it our best and wring out the best from it too.
Drop by anytime, Chaks.
And do take care. See yah!
:-)))
ReplyDeleteYup I m perfectly fine:-))
So hw s ur new year...nething spl?
Wellll... the new year is starting out with sunny days... and that is good! lols The laundry would dry quickly and errands done without worrying bout sudden rains. lols
ReplyDeleteThe special thing about the new year is it's helping us on the road to healing of our grief & sorrow and onwards to recovery. And that is great! :-) 'Cos the sooner we get back on track again... the better for us. God is so good!
See ya around, Chaks!
Always take care.
God bless you with tons of good things. :-)