OLD SELF - NEW SELF

I am not what I used to be -- my old self which worried over every nitty-gritty detail of a mess-up, mine or somebody else's. I don't fret if the house is a mess, at least not anymore. But cleaning up goes on normally as it should. I save not for a special occasion because I've learned that everyday is a special occasion. So then I would buy ice cream, cakes, pretty clothes, shoes, bags and use them for no special reason. It doesn't have to be my birthday to look pretty or be happy.

Flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, or differences displayed by other people now amuse me because I have understood that we are all different and that being so does not make one person better or less than the other. It just makes us different. People's foibles are now better understood and forgiven, including mine. I draw close to people I like.. and if I don't like someone I simply stay away and forget that person. No point in having someone like that stick around to ruin my parade. I try not to go crazy when plans bomb out or when appointments are missed. Because if and when they do certainly it must be for some reason. Eventually something much better takes its place. But I try to make sure that I don't miss the good idea - thought - benefit or lesson behind it. Better to see it with a positive eye, otherwise it's bound to cause more stress in trying to figure out what happened.

I believe in miracles and blessings which certainly come plenty if one takes pains to find out or see it. I indeed seek for blessings because my mom said I should. Funny isn't it, so many things mothers tell their children and which children often forget. Glad that I remembered this one. You see mom would always tell me that there is always one when you come looking for it... and sometimes even when you aren't looking. Blessings don't always come wrapped up in gorgeous ribbons or other fancy trimmings or make a huge dramatic entrance into your life. Nope. Sometimes it's just there beside you or within you making you feel... peace calm serene joy hope strength inspiration faith... something you thought you'd never experience as the rest of your world comes tumbling down or has already.

I am happy where happiness finds me.... and if sorrow should come I'd probably cry too. Oh yes, probably hurt and ache, grieve, be miserable... but I know better now that these things are fleeting and would easily pass just like all of life. Besides things which I have no control over are no longer mine to worry about. Troubles are plenty it's true and nobody's spared of it, but we can choose how to face them. Thus if I don't have the solutions, then I leave them at the foot of the Cross for God to handle. He's better at it you know. So much better. I've learned that wonderful truth too. ---