MOM ---- THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

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Just a little something which crossed my mind today ......

When I was a young kid of fourteen and in school with dozens of others more of my age there was this unspoken rule among the studentry that whoever the most popular girl or boy would be on the campus was... 'it'. Meaning she or he would be up there on the pedestal of adulation and esteem... a much coveted post. 

Did that bother me? Nahh I was busy with my books (nerdy you would say) and being the nice person Mom taught me to be. Besides I was content with my share of  (so-called but not essentially important) 'adulation' and of genuine respect from people who mattered among my fellow students and teachers as well. This traveled back and forth quite so easily. Whatsoever you shall sow... so shall you reap.

I guess my mother knew all about this long before I could read and write my alphabet as she prepared me early on ... self-worth. She highlighted my talents... ballet dancing, drawing, designing dresses, writing essays .... by giving me the freedom to express myself in the genre I felt comfortable with. She gave me wings of confidence and self-worth at an early age which allowed me to soar in my mind heart and soul..... and I learned to see myself as able in my strengths and not 'disabled' in my weaknesses as I grew stronger in maturity, intellect, and abilities. She taught me to focus on strengths and at the same time understand human weaknesses and limitations, too. She said that human beings are flawed to start with but must discover their strengths and grow with that knowledge. I learned it better by the way she lived her own life on those principles she taught. These words I will never forget, she said......

.....'You don't need anybody's approval to be you. And because someone cannot see your uniqueness and worth does not mean that you don't matter at all. On the contrary, you're very special -- there's nobody else like you. Believe that because it's by God's design.'

From then on, I have used that word in all of my writings.... 'By God's design' It's etched right here in my heart forever. Thanks, Mom.

I am special... you are special. By God's design. Let nobody tell you otherwise.

Prayers for bushels of blessings to rain down upon you and your loved ones. In Christ.

YOU AND NOT OTHERS DEFINE YOU

 

But also be careful.........

 

So many, I have observed, are struggling with self-esteem (confidence in one's own worth or abilities)... the lack of it in both the young and old alike. Nope, it's not the monopoly of the young alone as some perceive it to be. Adults have it too but have learned how to mask it with bravado, seeming flamboyance, even worked up their ego to high gear to make up for the lack. 'Normal', as my teacher would say long ago, 'but that doesn't have to be'.

Through the course of my growing-up years I have struggled with that, too. Made so much more intense by the presence of meanness which some people are amazingly quite capable of. They have this knack of making you feel so flawed, imperfect, meaningless, obscure. Directly or indirectly or as some do without even saying a word.

But thanks to a wonderful mother who never failed to remind me and made sure I understood it that ......

'A person's bad behavior towards you does not reflect on who you are but on him or her where the badness is coming from'.

She added.....  'You define yourself with what you do with yourself with your God-given talents and abilities ... Not with what others do to you. So unleash your light and shine it out to the world and the universe. God will bless you with even so much more.'

Mom was right, you know. God does not make junk. When HE created us HE made sure that we be equipped with everything we would be needing to live our earthly lives with peace and joy. We are His MASTERPIECE.

To enjoy that, we must KNOW that. Look within and see who you truly are, by God's design.

Wishing you a blessed Lenten season.

JUST SO YOU WON'T FORGET (To a friend)

NO ONE ELSE IS YOUER THAN YOU

Maria (that’s not her real name, of course) only 5’ tall, weighs about 119 lbs, short black hair, black eyes, worry-wart, perfectionist, stubborn, outspoken, multi-talented, conservative, analytical, and reflective. Her life story is quite dotted with disappointments and unhappiness but she’s got spunk which I admire. She lives an hour away from me in another part of the city but we call each other up if meeting up isn’t possible.Ralph is married, in his early fifties, doesn’t have a regular job, gets by with special projects much to the consternation of his wife, has excellent pr with friends and colleagues but isn’t quite successful in the home and with family.

They are just two of countless other people in my social circle -- Same as with yours and too with theirs. Now why should I even mention these? I’m trying to drive home a point – an essential one.

We see zillions of people around us with distinct features and characteristics. Well, in our close circle we can only count about tens or hundreds, if you're lucky. But in the world outside there are zillions of them. Zillions! We’ve been told that no two persons are alike although they seem to be similar but still not the same. So then you, I, and they are distinctly different and separate in our own selves and persona.

I like that thought. It makes me feel very special. Don’t you too?

When you see me do the things I do, talk the way I do, think the way I do, walk the way I do ---- that’s me --- intrinsically genuinely me…Unless I put up a façade, but what for? Why pretend what I am not when being real is a lot more fun and interesting, at least to my point of view. It has nothing to do with being smug or proud or snooty liking oneself --- Although some people may take it to extremes and that’s where the problem begins. The idea of appreciating who I am and what I am makes life simpler and less stressful in a huge measure for myself and for others who move in and out of my turf or vice versa. No masks, no pretenses, no facades.

When I see myself as who I am --- the whole package of traits and flaws – and understand what makes me tick and still be comfortable with that I think am right on track with good sense. So then I can too appreciate others who may display other traits possibly quite unfamiliar to me and yet which I know do genuinely reflect their own distinct personality --who they are. I begin to learn to allow leeway for unpleasantness or idiosyncrasies of character because that too understandably is also in my own physical make-up. Understanding then takes place and then sets the correct mode in my relationships or in dealing with others.

I’m not going to dwell on the idea of changing where change should be, with reference to unpleasantness of character. Let’s leave that for another blog post.

The whole point of this exercise is to highlight how special you are as a person, an individual, a human being, creature, and character. Let nobody tell you otherwise. They have no permission to say that you are not. Neither do they have license to heap words of abuse on your character and person. Defend yourself and stand up for who you are. You are special, particularly in God’s eyes.

Oh yes, you are special, you are one and there is nobody else alive like you. They may copy you or seem to be like you but still they are not you. Get my point? Who else would heap canapés on his sandwich or walk in the park bare foot or look through a magazine back to front? Who else would dive straight into the pool in pajamas or eat dessert before and not after a meal or wear leather jackets in summer? Others may share your taste or preferences but you alone possess your own particular trademark as Mary, John, Peter, Lee, Pedro, Raj, Diwa. There is so much more of who you are that makes you quite unique and special. That was God's agenda when he created you. So like who you are and as you go along with that thought.. also do take time to see where you can improve on 'you' for an even better self.

Dr. Seuss says…..
“THERE IS NO ONE ALIVE WHO IS YOUER THAN YOU"

(Wrote this some time ago. Taking this here now for a friend. Hope this works its purpose.)