LUCILLE's MONOLOGUE

This time allow me to quote Lucille, a dear friend (not her real name). We got to chatting on the phone one afternoon and talked about the latest events in our respective lives and stuff that would delight any woman’s heart. Then the chat shifted to a monologue. It seemed that she was talking more to herself than she was talking to me but it was okay. I think she needed that moment. I’m bringing Lucille’s monologue here in the blog because I felt that there's so much in it we could learn from. Oh don’t worry because she gave permission but of course not with her real name.

----------------------------------

I AM ME --- MY TIME IS MINE

“Whenever I look back to a certain point in my life, I see how Time had figured in my journey. Honestly, even if time were mine it seemed to belong to somebody else -- somebody who dictated how I should spend it or not spend it. Things happened but which didn’t come from my hand or mind or heart. How that came to be I don’t know. It was just there like somebody turning the pages of my book on a fast and faster clip. I felt that I had no control -- simply lost it. But as a dutiful girl would I went through everything that needed to be done, not because I wanted to but because it had to be done. Because If I didn’t, who would?

Then it stopped. Maybe God was saying ‘Enough!’ and restored to me what was and should be entirely mine. Precious time may have been lost but certainly not everything. If I may be allowed to say so, bad times made me who I am today..along with the good times no matter how few they may have been. Have learned my lessons and I hope well enough to have come out so much better than when I started. And if that’s any indication, that can only mean that Life has taught me well. Thank God.

Now I’ve got Time back in my own hands and I’m working it according to ME. I do what I love ----

-sit and gaze at the sunset for hours until it disappears in the horizon,

-or pick my own friends no matter if they dress crazy or talk stupid yet have such good hearts,

-or wake up late and, if still inclined, go back and snuggle in bed lazily,

-or firmly say ‘no’ when I honestly feel that I should - without the guilt,

-or speak my mind when my feelings are hurt and expect to be listened to,

-or make mistakes without the fear of somebody else's displeasure.

I am finally ME and not someone others want me to be… and my time is mine. I’ll spend it the way I want it spent and won’t let anyone spend it for me. Not for any reason at all. No more, not ever. Thank God!”

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,and only you can determine how it will be spent.Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." -- Carl Sandburg

JUST SO YOU WON'T FORGET (To a friend)

NO ONE ELSE IS YOUER THAN YOU

Maria (that’s not her real name, of course) only 5’ tall, weighs about 119 lbs, short black hair, black eyes, worry-wart, perfectionist, stubborn, outspoken, multi-talented, conservative, analytical, and reflective. Her life story is quite dotted with disappointments and unhappiness but she’s got spunk which I admire. She lives an hour away from me in another part of the city but we call each other up if meeting up isn’t possible.Ralph is married, in his early fifties, doesn’t have a regular job, gets by with special projects much to the consternation of his wife, has excellent pr with friends and colleagues but isn’t quite successful in the home and with family.

They are just two of countless other people in my social circle -- Same as with yours and too with theirs. Now why should I even mention these? I’m trying to drive home a point – an essential one.

We see zillions of people around us with distinct features and characteristics. Well, in our close circle we can only count about tens or hundreds, if you're lucky. But in the world outside there are zillions of them. Zillions! We’ve been told that no two persons are alike although they seem to be similar but still not the same. So then you, I, and they are distinctly different and separate in our own selves and persona.

I like that thought. It makes me feel very special. Don’t you too?

When you see me do the things I do, talk the way I do, think the way I do, walk the way I do ---- that’s me --- intrinsically genuinely me…Unless I put up a façade, but what for? Why pretend what I am not when being real is a lot more fun and interesting, at least to my point of view. It has nothing to do with being smug or proud or snooty liking oneself --- Although some people may take it to extremes and that’s where the problem begins. The idea of appreciating who I am and what I am makes life simpler and less stressful in a huge measure for myself and for others who move in and out of my turf or vice versa. No masks, no pretenses, no facades.

When I see myself as who I am --- the whole package of traits and flaws – and understand what makes me tick and still be comfortable with that I think am right on track with good sense. So then I can too appreciate others who may display other traits possibly quite unfamiliar to me and yet which I know do genuinely reflect their own distinct personality --who they are. I begin to learn to allow leeway for unpleasantness or idiosyncrasies of character because that too understandably is also in my own physical make-up. Understanding then takes place and then sets the correct mode in my relationships or in dealing with others.

I’m not going to dwell on the idea of changing where change should be, with reference to unpleasantness of character. Let’s leave that for another blog post.

The whole point of this exercise is to highlight how special you are as a person, an individual, a human being, creature, and character. Let nobody tell you otherwise. They have no permission to say that you are not. Neither do they have license to heap words of abuse on your character and person. Defend yourself and stand up for who you are. You are special, particularly in God’s eyes.

Oh yes, you are special, you are one and there is nobody else alive like you. They may copy you or seem to be like you but still they are not you. Get my point? Who else would heap canapés on his sandwich or walk in the park bare foot or look through a magazine back to front? Who else would dive straight into the pool in pajamas or eat dessert before and not after a meal or wear leather jackets in summer? Others may share your taste or preferences but you alone possess your own particular trademark as Mary, John, Peter, Lee, Pedro, Raj, Diwa. There is so much more of who you are that makes you quite unique and special. That was God's agenda when he created you. So like who you are and as you go along with that thought.. also do take time to see where you can improve on 'you' for an even better self.

Dr. Seuss says…..
“THERE IS NO ONE ALIVE WHO IS YOUER THAN YOU"

(Wrote this some time ago. Taking this here now for a friend. Hope this works its purpose.)