Sunday, November 4, 2007


Let’s try something which many of us tend to overlook. Think about this… don’t we often complain how unhappy we are – how miserable, gloomy, forlorn, sad, wretched, heartbroken, hopeless, or bleak life is? Well, I do. Yeah, maybe it’s normal and everybody goes through something like that sometime. But...

Imagine yourself going about your day with a long face or a boring expression or with a lifeless look in your eyes… and… your feet feeling like a ton of bricks. Have you noticed too how you are affecting those around you or people who happen to cross your path in that day? Notice what comes out of your mouth when you talk – negative static and unenthusiastic talk? Sense people slowly steer themselves away from you or put in a marked distance between you and them?

Unhappiness causes all that. But unhappiness is not the cause of your feeling that way. You don’t say that you are that way because you are unhappy. But rather that you are unhappy because something going on is not right with you or in your life and this in turn is causing you some misery.

That something may be failed expectations, disappointments, loss, grief, broken promises, betrayals, or even a status quo where you had hoped there would be some movement or progress.

But it’s not healthy.

The thing that we should note is that we have full control over it. Two things we can do --- one is to stay or wallow in misery and the other is… to decide to pluck some bits of joy in our midst or from within ourselves.

Life does not offer us a basket of difficulties alone believed by most of us. But it offers us a good mix of both joy and sorrow. It’s right there in the same basket. All that we must do is learn to do some picking for stuff which would make us happy. You’ll be surprised to know that often those things are the trivial bits around us which we often ignore or neglect –

a lovely sunrise, a poignant sunset, the cool drops of rain, intriguing cloud formations, the deep blue skies, a bud transformed into a beautiful flower, a statuesque tree silhouetted against the sky, tree tops dancing in the wind, gurgling waters flowing merrily down the stream, a baby’s small fingers clutching your thumb, the deeply lined face of a bent elderly woman smiling at you, the gentle hearts of good friends, the love of your family, the adoring eyes of your sweetheart, a rainbow in the sky, or God’s treasure of blessings pouring down into your day and life -- And many more.

Have you ever stopped to enjoy these things? There is no reason to be unhappy for long. Maybe you will for awhile as the unpleasantness of that something is touching your life, but not for long because you can change your attitude towards it and turn your negative feelings into one of wise tolerance and acceptance and understanding. This will help you see things in a much better light and even feel appreciation for the presence of good and better things in the midst of misery. Happiness therefore is already there for your easy picking, if you would only stop awhile to see it and enjoy it.

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness,
not because they never found it,
but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.

William Feather


  1. Hi Ellen,

    Am surprised at being the first one to comment on so many blogs today :)) May be coz of the weekend and this unearthly hour when I am online :D:D

    Your post couldn't have been more true.. I myself have gone thru innumerable such experiences and have learnt that no matter how big the problems appear when they happen, nothing is big enough to put me down or stop me from moving ahead.. standing upto all those problems in life has made me much stronger and a much more positive person.

    Hope things are fine at your end!! Take Care and Have a nice week ahead!

    Got to catch some sleep to prepare for the Monday morning blues :D:D

  2. Hi Kamesh,

    Yup, early indeed. :-) You know, despite what they say about online friendships - that of being unreliable & fleeting, I say this -- I am very glad with the friendships that I have here. Grateful, in fact, that the people I meet are the best of the crop...such as you. Thus every message that you write - the thoughts, insights, perceptions - are all appreciated. So much to learn from. :-)

    Yes, things are fine here..thank you. You take care too. And God bless you tons!

  3. Hey ellen

    Long time since i read ur posts..and nice to se eu here outside o3 :)

    Well this post is well timed... I am unhappy with something in my life at present.. and as much as I try to distract myself and think and act cheerful... Someone ends up being disappointed in me! Life's crazy i tell yaa...

    But I am gonna remind myself of all the cheerful things u have mentioned here... Thx!

    Btw... lovely doggies.. My big hug for them all! :)

  4. Hi Curious,

    So nice to see you! :-)

    Cast away the sadness off your pretty face, my dear friend. Life is the way it is. We can't help having people disappointed in us nor us being disappointed in them at one time or another. You know, we can't be everything to another person - we can't fill the bill a 100% all of the time. Moments will naturally occur when we will either be doing too much or too little, or maybe nothing at all. And this would affect people around us in different ways.

    I don't know what has happened but... whatever it was -- Don't be too hard on yourself just because something didn't come up to expectations, yours or the other person's. You did well in trying to put up a cheerful face. I will venture to say tho, I think the other person should have exercised some understanding and consideration and made room for short falls -- something which always happens to people.

    You know, you can't please everyone and don't try to either. Just be your self -- real, genuine, sincere , and giving everything your best shot -- that includes in your friendships and relationships. Just be yourself - a nice smart sweet person which I believe you are.

    Now put that smile back on your happy and stay happy! For yourself.. and if I may add -- for me too? lol :-D

    Take care. And again I say, it's so nice to see you here. Come again anytime you're free. God bless you!

  5. Guess what... That's the kind of word the people in my real life usually fail to reassure/deliver!

    Tanks a ton ellen! >:D<

  6. You are right...We hardly stop and appreciate the small things of life taking them for granted...We let our mood be dictated by the success or failure of the things we consider 'important' and completely forget that life has much more to offer. I think to the list of small-but-big things you mentioned you should also have added one more thing: a good strain of music as music is as powerful as anything beautiful life and nature have to offer.


  7. Ah yes, I agree to that, Indrasish. Just like you, I'm very fond of music too -- have music with me in my morning walks or lulls me to sleep in the evenings. Sometimes I turn on some nice music in my blogging time too. You're right, " is as powerful as anything beautiful life and nature have to offer." :-)

  8. Your post was awesome! some people will die without ever having known/experienced love and joy! I love life and family and always try to enjoy things. Tomorrow is not promised so we must live life today!
    Lovely & true post!

  9. Dear Madam,
    Your posts/comments are always very dignified and full of wisdom. The present posts of urs is not an exception. One should make efforts to be happy most of the time. But do tell me one thing (I am asking this as I suppose you have seen much more in life than me and might be having grown up kids) whats the best way to deal with unfair taunts that come from your own parents. One feel tempted like hell to react but knows that reaction will bring more pains but then the taunts sometimes keep eating you for months, wasting the precious time you could have enjoyed to enjoy this blissful life given by God.

  10. Dear Ellen,
    I will not say goodbye...because you are a lovely member of o3family......I welcome ur new place...but with request to continue in o3 also......on this post I fully agree with ur view...we should try to see GOD in small things....

  11. Hi JustCurious,

    I will go straight to the point.

    Your question is this .. "..whats the best way to deal with unfair taunts that come from your own parents."

    My question is - why do parents do that at all?

    I am not going to put up excuses for your parents. Neither would I judge them for what they are towards you. But what I want to do is to help you understand what is happening, in the best way I can.

    Taunt is an ugly word. It means insult, mock, criticize --- words which a parent shouldn't use with their children who they claim to love with all of their hearts and life.

    But ..who can read the minds of parents?! Who can tell us what they as persons have gone through in their own history? Who can tell us if they have suffered humiliation, pain, hurt, abuse (of any kind), or went through a life of bitterness and shame? Nobody.. and they won't tell that to us us (children) either. That's their secret.

    Remember that a person is what his life is. Meaning, what you go through in life is stamped on your person -- in your thoughts, speech, in the feelings in your heart. You are your history.

    That includes your parents as individuals. How they have come out of their own life experiences is what they bring with them into their parenting roles.

    Maybe it is not you they are 'taunting' but a memory of their ugly past. Maybe they want to steer you away from a life which might be casting a shadow of their own sad life before. Maybe they don't want the same things happening to you.. but they just don't know how to say it better or in a nice and loving way.

    There are many reasons that could be cited why people sometimes act fiercely or arrogantly or domineeringly towards others. Remember that.. there is always a reason to every particular cause seen.

    You simply shouldn't take their 'taunting' at face value. No parent would deliberately want to hurt their children, for whatever perceived justified reason. If they do, something is making them.. something larger than themselves and which they have no control over. Maybe they are up against their own 'monsters'.

    See your parents not with your emotions or by 'reacting' to them ..but with understanding. Deal with them gently and respectfully. Tell them in sincere terms how you feel bout their 'behavior' towards you.. help them understand what is truly happening every time they behave that way. Let them see that you are hurt by it...and it's something which doesn't go away so easily. But tell them too that all those things don't make you love them less. You love and respect them -- that will never change.

    And listen to what they will say. If however they choose not to respond, be content with the fact that you have released all that pent up emotions and have cleared the air.. have turned the ball to their court. The rest is up to them.

    Now go on with your life and pluck the joys of your day -- there's plenty of them just for you. God knows what's happening I am sure. I guess He just wants you to grow in strength and wisdom and why these tests come your way. You have more to gain from it if you choose to see it with truth and understanding. Wisdom is right at your fingertips.

    By the way, call me Ellen.. most of my friends do. :-) Take care and God bless you and your family.


  12. Hello Ellon,
    Your comments brought tears to my eyes. I cannot thank you enough. God bless helpful people like you.

  13. Hi again, JustCurious,

    You know what, God loves you so much that He used my blog to reach out to you and comfort you! Don't cry now, you have a very good friend in our God. You and Him.. together.. can handle any challenges in life with great success. :-)

    Would you like to be my friend too? :-) And anytime you want a place to rest your heart, just come here cos this is your home too.

    Take care and God bless you & your family with love and peace.

  14. Hi Shrawan,

    This is a wonderful surprise! :-) Oh that's such a sweet message from you. Thank you so much!

    It will be alright I guess to keep on with the old blog. But won't it be an inconvenience for anyone to be shuttling back and forth the 2 blogs? Anyway, I'll give it a thought. Thank you for your suggestion. :-)

    Take care. God bless you and your home.


:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!