Thursday, July 24, 2008


I have learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

Okay so that person has hurt you or robbed you of what you think is rightfully yours. If I told you that that does not count, it does not count for a reason to strike back at the other person – that wanting to get even may hurt him yes and which will make you in turn very happy bout it too yes again. But truth of the matter is – you’re the one who’ll be hurting most by it. Why? --Because you are making yourself quite open or vulnerable for a counter-strike again and again. You are giving him permission to hurt you repeatedly because apparently he won’t just sit there taking your punches too but will punch you right back in – cause he is the type who would. And you know what, in always thinking about your rage it would only serve to enrage you some more. That’s even hurting you more than you ever know. Your own rage will destroy you. So you see the other guy is winning over you without even trying hard enough.

But think about this --- can he be so sure that what he has stolen from you is the thing for him that it would work well for him too? You see, wanting something just because it looks good on the other person does not guarantee that the same thing would look good or will work well for you too. Nope, that’s not how it works. One man’s medicine may be poison for another.

So what to do? Well, leave! Your leaving will douse cold water over his fiery temper and greed. How can he be continually angry too when there’s nobody around to be angry with or at? There’s nobody or nothing that would add coal to the fire in the furnace…his furnace.

And what have you lost? If you seriously think about it, not much really because you can always get it back into your life again just the way you are. That's how you have succeeded in the first place.


  1. this is so true ms. ellen.

    a friend of mine sent this text message and was saved in my memory card until now as a reminder when someone or somebody hurt me that..

    “the best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury”

  2. Words of wisdom, Lei. Truly.

    Although some people find it quite hard to turn the other cheek. But with some practice we can get better at it and save ourselves from utter misery. I think it's worth learning, even if that would take longer to learn as some people believe that it runs against human nature.

    Thanks for dropping by, Lei.
    It's always a pleasure to see you here. Blessings to you and your family.

  3. Hello Ellen

    You may not remember me but i used to frequently visit your o3 blog long back.. I was the girl who was writing a long story there "essence of love" in case it helps you to remember me. :)

    Just dropped in to say hello, as i am back to blogging so i thought to catch up with my old friends :)

    Good to see your snap :)

  4. Hi Aditi,

    Yes, I do remember 'essence of love'. It's so nice to see you after such a long time. So glad that you are back to blogging again. And I like your new blog home in wordpress. Your pieces there make for good reading. So I've linked to your blog to keep abreast with your writing. :-)

    Keep in touch. When you've got nothing else to do, do it here lols! :-)

    Blessings to you and your family.

  5. Hello Ellen

    Thanks so much for nice words...
    You are so sweet

    Btw i so badly wanna read your "i learned that.... " so i guess iw ill start from part 1

    Btw you know what one of my very good friends' he is from Philipines.. we studied together at university this past 07 but now he is back in Philipines ..

    Anyways thought to mention my connection

    PS: yea you are right when there is nothing else to do i will write a blog :)

  6. A mystery that i will wrestle until i die is why is it so hard to live with what makes us more human, and very easy to cling instead to what dehumanizes us such as self-hurting.have a great weekend...

  7. Maybe that has always been a mystery we've been wrestling with ever since. Or maybe it's also a battle that is being fought in the spiritual realm rather than something which we solely are responsible for?

    But I want to think that with things which my human mind cannot fathom there must be something much much bigger hovering over it. Yet still I know that does not excuse me from doing my part to fight that 'common' battle being fought of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad. Because it simply boils down to that, doesn't it -- the big battle between good and evil.. in us and in the world.

    Thanks for your message.
    It makes one think. :-)
    Enjoy your weekend.
    Blessings to you.


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