Friday, March 24, 2017


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I got an early morning call from a good friend asking me what would I be doing today. Well, I wasn't expecting such an early morning friendly chat but I thought to spend a few minutes with her. So I replied... to start with, I'm going to sweep and polish the floor, dust the furniture, then take a bath and get myself a nice healthy breakfast. 

"Aren't you going out?" she retorted apparently not impressed with my litany of morning activities. 

"Oh yeah, later for a visit and a nice hair trim at my suki parlor." I replied ignoring her persistence. I was beginning to sense a quiet unease in her voice though. 

"Yeah, when I feel worn and weary I hie off to the mall. The shop windows can effectively shove your troubles to the bin. Even if only for awhile." she spoke.

"Okay, what's up?" I asked her straightforwardly. That's what friends do.... no masks, no pretenses, just simple good ole attention and heart. Mom taught me that.

"It's a lonely life. Nobody has time for me anymore. The children have all grown with lives of their own and husband is so dumb a___ insensitive that he makes me feel invisible. I feel invisible!" she moaned.

Whoah there! That's a lot heaped on my morning tray! (I thought)
"Get dressed. I'll meet you in an hour. Usual place." I retorted.

We did meet. We talked. A lot! We stayed for a wee bit longer than usual. Later, we hied off to the mall and window-shopped and ... yes, allowed it to shove her problems to the bin even if just for awhile. She'll probably take it up again when she comes home but this time apparently recharged, energized to face her battle once more.

But it made me think.........

"The children have all grown" --- So what does a mother do when her children have all grown and are living their own lives away from her? She copes with what she knows how. She gets busy or tries to get busy. She walks the long-winding-teeming-with-people halls of the mall. She takes up a new interest, hobby, activity, or tries her darn best to fill up the void left by her children. But she gets lonely.  In her heart she knows there will always be lonely days ahead without her children.

Do you know what would mean much to her now?

A phone call, a visit, spending time together, and shared expressions of love and affection. Make time for her. Share your life. You can.. if you darn try. It takes only so little but that little means the world to her.

"...he makes me feel invisible!" --- You might as well hit yourself with a rock on the head! Because nothing you'll ever do will make him "see" you. Until some deep issues are resolved. Every couple, every marriage has it in some small or large measure. Deal with it; how is all up to you.. or to both of you. But please be kind to each other. Be kind sana. It makes life easier for everybody. Be kind.

Take care, friends. Remember, life is all about being kind and being of good courage. God bless you!


  1. Nice, touchy blog, Elen. Yes, life becomes lonely for mothers after their children have moved into their own world and their husband can at times add to their woes instead of minimizing them.

    1. Indra! What a lovely surprise! How have you been, my good friend? It's been ages. Did you break a leg or something?! Just kidding.. lol :-) :-)


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