HAVE THE DRIVE - BUT DRIVEN DON'T BE

Having the drive and being driven are two things different. The first one is good, we all know that; it takes you to your dreams; it provides you with the much needed push to plod on persistently towards ambition and dreams. The latter, on the other hand, can make you --- self-destruct. You don’t believe that? I don’t blame you. You must have seen people so driven in their desire to make good and got it. But, you know what, that’s not the whole story. Behind that you will find heartbreaking stories that will rend your heart --- broken families and relationships due to neglect, deprivation, false hopes, unmet expectations, with dear ones and fond ideals ignored – all cast aside as last on one’s priority list. Just because something else comes to you which you think needs you most does not give you the right to do that to the people you love. Because the people around you are part of you; you cannot leave them behind or shelve them, albeit temporarily, just because you are on something important. What’s more important than the people you love – they who mean the world to you – they who help shape who you are – they who stand steadfast and devoted to you regardless? So why not take them with you – involve them in your quest, share with them your joys and sorrows and hardships – keep them close because only they can love you best when you become possibly quite ‘unlovable’ (oh yes, that will happen) through that long arduous grueling demanding journey.

Have the drive, that’s wonderful. It can take you to great and greater heights. Don’t be too driven though because that can be your own downfall - it won’t let you think of anything else. Remember that life isn’t all about things; it’s mostly and primarily about people – especially the ones after your heart.

SOMETHING OLD IS SOMETHING NEW TOO

A small group of college kids sat at a table not far from mine. They were visibly glued to the screen of their friend’s laptop and seeing the expressions on their faces I could gather that something engaged their full attention. Now that pricked my curiosity - A weakness I must admit to having because it always becomes a good resource for writing. Luckily they were close enough for me to snatch bits of their conversation. Is that being nosey? Yes because it should be none of my business… and no because they were talking in loud voices anyway. It bothered the other folks around their table I could see. Oh well, but I was intent to gathering the ‘gems’. So then let’s continue. :-)

This exchange overheard got me particularly interested.

College boy 1: Hey this is terrific, makes sense. He’s got it all figured out that it looks so easy.

College boy 2: It’s a good one, yeah. But some big guy has said that before in a book. It’s not new.

Apparently they were viewing a blog (I caught a glimpse of the screen when the laptop was moved to a particular angle for their better viewing) and seemed impressed by it. But one guy’s remark though dropped the bomb.

“It’s not new.”

Oh but what is or isn’t new? When a person says something and the idea doesn’t seem fresh or original to us, must we straight away or hastily label it as ‘not new’? C’mon, don’t be too quick on that one because even if it were not new, literally, there is still something in there which we should give credit for.

When we see something which we like or appreciate so much and decide to embrace it, that thing becomes ours. This old idea or something takes on a new life with us - Because it will then gain or put on the thoughts, expression, passion, emotions, experience, or insights we would then be honestly pouring into it and as we use it in our daily association with others. Thus it will grow expand and become like new again in our hands. This is what we should try to see. Frankly, whatever we hear or read now has been spoken or written long before in our history. Our thoughts now were somebody else’s thoughts thousands of years ago but retold in so many different ways many times over and will go on and on unto generations coming one after the other. It will have many lives for as long as civilization exists.

I marvel at the many articles and books written on one same subject by different writers and authors but each brilliant as the other in both sameness and diversity. Amazing, isn’t it? You see, it’s not the story but the storyteller… not the song but the singer… not the writing but the writer … it’s the person behind the telling who lends anything its freshness every time. It’s always worth listening to. So then something old is something new too. Pay attention to who’s telling it.

YOU HOLD OPPORTUNITY IN YOUR OWN HANDS

I just can’t seem to crack this hard nut who happens to be my nephew. You see he has this idea that his golden opportunity is out there in a faraway rich country. So he wants to leave his job and fly out to his perceived land of milk and honey. I told him that it’s not always true, now he looks at me like I was a two-headed monster from outer space – especially when I said that this much sought after opportunity is already there in him, that he doesn’t have to go far to find it. He still doesn’t get it, he thinks I’m weird. So then where’d he get that idea? --No, not of me being weird lols (but I think I am sometimes lols)… but of seeking elsewhere for that good stuff desired by many. So what’s wrong here? Did school do that to him - or did his parents - or media? Who told him that this opportunity can only be found in a strange foreign land just because your friend has gone there before you, in an unfamiliar job that sucks even if it pays well, in high ranking positions and titles which has ‘corrupt’ attached to its name, or in the connections or ‘padrinos’ we are told we must have? Oh those may have their uses as some of us know but look again please and see that these external things are not the opportunities per se but simply the tools with which opportunity operates to accomplish goals, ambitions, or dreams. One word of caution though – choose wisely your tools okay?

Yes, I’ll say it again it’s already there in you and just waiting to be raised to the fore of your life and be set to work in creating your miracles for you. The opportunity within you is that tough strength you possess in coping with life’s trials and tribulations… the diligence and perseverance you arm yourself with in staying on track despite insurmountable obstacles… the intelligence of discovering creating or paving new ways or roads towards your dreams… the patience and wisdom of knowing that life is indeed tough but that you are tougher. Whatever you possess within you and that which pushes you towards excellence and achievement is that thing called opportunity. It’s right there in you alone. So then why not harness that and get it working for you now instead of pining away for a far-off land which you can’t even be sure would give you your dreams. You alone have the power to make your dreams come true wherever you are whatever you do --- it’s not found outside of you but within. And in case you forget or have forgotten, God put it there!

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone." - Orison Swett Marden

LESSON FROM A DINOSAUR

"The dinosaur's eloquent lesson is that if some bigness is good, an overabundance of bigness is not necessarily better." -- Eric Johnston

Let me interpret that on the context of an overblown-up ego. -Those whom the gods wish to destroy - they first make proud.’ I’m sure you have come across that famous line before. Ego and pride indeed has no merit in itself except turn a person into a stupid fool. Here’s this guy with a smug look on his face buoyed up by a successful sales pitch which his staff toiled over the night before. (Give credit where it’s due, man!) Or this young woman who clawed her way up the ladder and now sits in her own office on the seventh floor. (So how many heads did you step on --on the way up, kiddo?!)

You know, if a person is good then everybody will see that – the same thing when he is bad -- It’s easy. Praise or accolade must be deserved; you can’t steal or buy that. Let your deeds speak for you (not your power or position) or better yet let others do it for you. Besides you’ll get what you truly deserve good or bad, it’ll catch up with you sooner or later. So be careful cos that’s how the universe operates. 'Whatsoever you shall sow, so shall you reap!'

There’s just this one thing that you should understand, that we all should understand – that God made you (us) … so then you (we) must be special! Now with that said, let’s go back to the business of being special for others. If there’s anything which will make you feel good about yourself, it’s being a blessing to others. You’ll be surprised how the good vibes get back to you a thousand fold. Be blessed!

WILL BE AWAY FOR A BIT, BACK SOON

Lest you think I've left blogging for good which is quite unlikely lols :-) ... the blog will be quiet for awhile cos I will be off for a few days or a couple of weeks to go into surgery. But do go ahead and leave your messages in the blog and I will get back to it when I return. Take care, everyone. Blessings to you all!

STICK-TO-ITIVENESS

‘Stick-to-itiveness’ – that’s a word Mom would freely use when reminding me of my goals. She’d say ‘be like glue and be sticky!’ She was kidding of course but she made sense I soon found out on my own when she passed away several years later.

It’s something like this. It’s determinedly focusing on something which you strongly believe in no matter what other people may say to the contrary. It’s working harder than the rest because you know well deep inside that it’s all going to be worth your blood, sweat, and tears someday. It’s pushing the button even harder when friends say you should give it up. It’s trusting in yourself and in what you are capable of even if they say that you can’t or never can. It’s strongly believing in possibilities and potential and that this could happen to you -- Because, to quote Mom, ‘whatever you give fully from your heart and soul the universe in its wisdom will give back to you in full measure too’.

Goals and dreams are not easy to pursue… whatever they are or whatever size they may be, big ones -- small ones. You’d be up against all known resistance or conflict and impediment that all seem to conspire to get you off the track or make things so hard for you that you’d begin thinking of shifting gears and taking another road – an easier one. I often wondered just where these difficulties real or imagined come from. They usually crop up when least expected or least needed. But then again Mom would say ‘they’re there to see if you got the stuff to follow your dream’. Oh they do huh?! Well, I told Mom with the best bravado I could muster ‘this is one person who won’t buckle down with the slightest difficulty’. Mom would simply smile to that (and that made me feel quite uneasy). Why do mothers always see through their children?! And so to make a long story short -- I persevered doggedly, determinedly, persistently, resolutely, tenaciously, and whatever-else-you-may-call-it but which should mean ‘stick-to-itiveness’ in Mom’s dictionary. But I did get there (…to some of my goals; am working still on the rest) and I’ve loved that word ever since…using it like I use my toothbrush everyday. Next to God, Mothers know best.

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there." -- Josh Billings

(That's Maxie in the picture there, the youngest of our three dogs. She sure can teach you what 'determination' means. lols :-) Yeah, she succeeded to win a piece of Skittles from us.)

LIFE ISN'T ONLY ABOUT WORK

There was a time long ago in my teens that I would think ‘doing nothing’ was a crime. So I was careful that nobody would see me idle or resting. Made it a point that I would be seen as ‘doing something’ ‘working on something’ ‘performing’ ‘taking action’ – even when it was not necessary at all. Weird, wasn’t it? Well, life was a struggle and I was made to do my part to keep the wheels turning. Mom worked, Dad too, brother did the same—they all worked their butts out for the family. It got so hammered into me that pretty long the idea of rest became an abomination to my young mind. I was no longer comfortable being at rest. I saw the world and life as w-o-r-k!

So it was then and still was when I joined the corporate world… even if the reasons I slaved myself for were no longer there. Oh I still toiled my bones out on some days like I used to – well, habits are hard to shake off. But by some stroke of providence (that would be quite another long story) I began to change. This led me to a better appreciation of work and life, activity and rest, of what I can or can’t do and of what I should do given the right chance or opportunity.

I began to enjoy the day, time, moments, events, people, and the world at large. To my new eyes and mind the sky seemed bluer, the trees greener, the clouds like billows of cotton, the river waters rolling down merrily. I began to notice everything there was to see – hear – touch – experience – because I took the time to rest from my labors. So if I would be asked again… Doing nothing sitting under the shade of a tree or dipping my feet in the waters by the shore or looking up at the star strewn evening skies – is time well spent indeed, believe me. I realized finally that life isn’t all about work and work is not life and that a good balance between work and rest gives us a better handle on life and on ourselves. And so much more – I learned to see God better and His work in my life clearly… and learned well to appreciate it with my whole heart. In turn He taught me how to appreciate me.

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time." -- J. Lubbock

TAKE CHANCES, MAKE MISTAKES, GROW

Why is it that whenever the words chances or mistakes are spoken of most people would cringe hearing it? Now give some reason why that is so. No? You can’t? Okay then, I’ll tell you why – it’s because we’ve been made to believe that ‘sticking your head out isn’t good for your sanity’. Haven’t heard that before? I wonder why because that’s what we’ve been doing all along - all of this time - all of our life. Have you noticed that anything which might or tend to crumple our perceived notions of tranquility or.. those which we think would work to extricate us from our comfort zones we vehemently disallow to encroach on our personal space and time. Yes, we don't. It’s avoided with extreme fear and anathema albeit not understanding the reasons at all or not wanting to. ‘Play it safe’ ‘don’t rock the boat’ ‘Make mistakes and you’re a goner’ ‘Err and you’ll suffer’ are but a few odd things we tell ourselves or we hear from people who say they ‘know’. But do they really?

What I know is this – the only genuine way to true learning is by making or experiencing mistakes and sticking our heads out letting something hit it hard so that we can come to our senses at last. Oh I don’t mean that literally of course, don’t get hurt that way, but of course you know what I mean, right? The best lessons are learned from the strife or struggle wherein we get our hands really dirty and our brains spilled out all over the place and our hearts ricocheting here there and everywhere. Only through heartaches and pain from battles fought tenaciously do we get that which we should be learning from life and own it and finally use it.

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being Brave." -- Mary Tyler Moore

PASS QUICKLY THROUGH YOUR TROUBLES

Problems, trials, difficulties, struggles, misfortunes, thorns or whatever else it is called but life surely has a good stack of them to keep us at our wit’s end. Whether they are gigantic or minute these problems can prick us where it can hurt us most -- And how we hurt! The thing is we can’t seem to get us out of there and I wonder why. Is it because being so overwhelmed by it we get dumbstruck and stuck to our shoes where we are? Or… because in our muddled up brains we can’t see anything beyond it? Or…that something got lost inside us and we don’t know how to get it back? Or…might it be that we have hang on doggedly to an idea that someone or something will come soon and pluck us out of our misery? To the latter I’ll say maybe and maybe not.

You do know that ‘life is what you make of it’, as a saying goes. So whether to welter in misery or get on the first plane out of there pronto, so to speak, is all up to you. The longer you stay in a situation where it can hurt you the harder it will hurt you – the harder it will harm you. And soon you will find yourself begin to lose the power to change. You certainly don’t want that, do you? -Because change and only change is your relief and deliverance from your perceived misery.

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." -- Voltaire

DON’T STAND ON A SMALL HILL, GO UP THE MOUNTAIN FOR A BETTER VIEW

‘Do nothing-do something’ or ‘to act-not to act’ --- these are the two things which life will always unfold or present to us - A dilemma which we are made to wrestle with in our lifelong journey. A number of people would say that some concerns do not require earth shaking solutions, sometimes if you leave it alone it just goes away. Oh I don’t know about that, what I see is that when a problem is left alone it tends to fester, seethe, churn, simmer, then evolve or explode into something much bigger that may go out of hand. No matter what the proponents of the do-nothing-resolve would say… that isn’t always the case. It’s rather more of a person’s preference or adherence to his own comfort zones which hold him to take that stand. Still that will not excuse a person from taking a course of action to solve an issue or concern. Problems require solutions, everybody knows that.

Choose to do something, act on the issue – this is far more rewarding and enriching, sometimes life-saving. It does not matter if you can only do so much, nonetheless do it just the same. But if you decide to do nothing because you think there isn’t much you can do, junk that thought right now because it is much better to take those small steps forward ---if that’s gong to take you closer to your goal each time. Try to see it from another perspective, not always yours, and see the problem for what it may or truly could be. There must be something in there you might have missed or didn’t notice. Try to see it with attentive detachment or objectivity. If you are viewing it from a small hill, then go up a mountain to get a better view.

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little." -- Edmund Burke