Wednesday, February 20, 2008


There was this party sometime back but which memory cut back to my mind when I chanced upon this quote…..

"A person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in BEING, not in doing, not in having." -Alice Mary Hilton

The other guests at my table were all strangers to me. Apparently they were a 'group'. So I was the stranger. I would have preferred sitting with my buddies three tables away but I came late and this was the only available seat in the room. My buddies were motioning me to move over to their table but I motioned back that I was just fine where I was. That was a lie of course. Anyway I didn’t want to call attention away from the proceedings up front (which was just a table away from me) – the presentation of the 18 roses. Yeah, you guessed it right – a debut. Further I felt that it was the polite thing to do to my fellow table mates (not that they would mind if I did).

Anyway although I was following the trail of speeches onstage, my ears were actually turned in like radar to the conversation going on around me at the table. Eavesdropping? Nah, they spoke in loud voices maybe to drown out the noise caused by the merriment …thus were much in hearing distance to most tables near us. One can’t help but hear what was being said.

So then in-between the long boring speeches and the ear-splitting music I gathered snatches of their conversation…

‘Hey look at that, they’ve invited Mr._____. Did you know that he owns two sugar plantations in Bacolod?’

‘I hear that his wife makes hefty donations to local charities. She’s with an MBA, speaks French, and travels to Paris every year.’

‘Oh, I see Gen. _____ is here too. He’s very close to the big guy at the top. Not smart to cross swords with him.’


I could tell you the rest of it but everything seemed just a repetition of what was said by the first person with just a bit more of embellishments.

So what’s the big fuss bout people holding big positions, is acquainted with prominent personalities in social circles, holds a huge bank account not in just one but several banks, makes frequent trips out of the country for shopping sprees…. What are these but simply icing on the cake. I don’t think that those things will make a dent for the perfect gauge of a person’s true worth. Accoutrement, trimmings, frills – these simply work or serve to make the image more attractive, enticing, alluring, beguiling, fascinating, intriguing to the onlooker… and sometimes will mask the real person within, good or bad. Just like icing is to the cake.

I love cakes but even if the icing is so temptingly delicious and attractive I would make serious effort in trimming it off my piece of cake. The real test of a cake is in the cake itself and not in the icing.

It’s the same thing when I meet people… I am not easily impressed by what they have or do although I do recognize and appreciate authentic good deeds. Mom could always cut through that flimsy curtain of appearances. It is quite easy to put up appearances to suit some need or hidden agenda. In like manner one cannot conceal true intent no matter how much one tries. It simply slips through in some unguarded moment when one thinks nobody is looking. Well, frankly one can easily separate genuineness from show. Just trim off the frills ---then you’ll see the real person inside.

The essence of a person lies in his being... who you are in the core of your heart is truly what you are regardless of your titles or millions or what you do with it.

I want my cake simple and people authentically honest and real. The best things in life are just that – simple and true.


  1. @ ellen ...

    yup ... a person's nature is his/her best identity ...

    really liked when you compared the nature of the person with a Cake !

    and if a person is really nice then i would call that person as a Chocolate Cake !

  2. hahahah Chocolate Cake! Wow, I am sure nobody would mind you calling them that if it means you consider them nice! :-)

    Hey, this is lovely, thanks for dropping by and for your message. I hope you're having a good week.

    Take care and God bless you & your family.

  3. @ ellen ... thanks laa ( in true malaysian style !)

  4. :-))))))

    Simplicity really is attracted by alls.....

    About the icing on cake....yummmy.....

    Cakes are just the BEST desserts...anybdy could imagine:-)))))

    SO hw r u??
    been looong time that I viisted ur space.....:_)))

    Hw s life...
    tak cr:-)))

  5. hi Ellen!
    well... best way to succeed is 'making things/processes/products simple and true'
    i got the biggest clue... i have heard/read the same message by an INDIAN businessman...
    but as always, u throw lights and show us the way...thanks a lot for all ur meaningful posts till date...

  6. Hi Chakoli,

    Love it to see you here after such a long while. Oh yeah, cakes are simply delicious for desserts! Love it!

    Btw, I've written a reply in your blog too. That was a funny interesting post you did. :-)

    Take care. God bless you & your family.

  7. Amit, you never run out of kind words to say. Thank you so much! It's always a pleasure to know that you enjoy the writings done in the blog. I hope that you will continue to brighten up my page with your warm friendship. May God bless you and your lovely family. :-)

  8. :-)))

    Which cake do you prefer...for me it alwayzzz has to be chocs:-)))

    yups dear...I did answered ur comment , thanks :-)))

    So hw s life moving...??Yup you said you are too busy nw a dayz.....

    Keep faith
    and Take care:-)))

  9. Hi Ellen,

    Truly interesting & enriching post, as always!!!

    I am glad that you visited me on blogspot it has always been wonderful to see your views on what I write, you not only comprehend my words in the right way but also add meaning to them.

    Keep Smiling!!

    Sensitive:-) Jigyasa

  10. Certainly you write well, Sensitive/Jigyasa. It is always a delight to go through your posts. I'll be seeing you there every time I can free myself from the day's chores. :-D Always take care and enjoy the day. God bless you and your family.


:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!