Saturday, April 17, 2010

OLD SELF - NEW SELF


I am not what I used to be -- my old self which worried over every nitty-gritty detail of a mess-up, mine or somebody else's. I don't fret if the house is a mess, at least not anymore. But cleaning up goes on normally as it should. I save not for a special occasion because I've learned that everyday is a special occasion. So then I would buy ice cream, cakes, pretty clothes, shoes, bags and use them for no special reason. It doesn't have to be my birthday to look pretty or be happy.

Flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, or differences displayed by other people now amuse me because I have understood that we are all different and that being so does not make one person better or less than the other. It just makes us different. People's foibles are now better understood and forgiven, including mine. I draw close to people I like.. and if I don't like someone I simply stay away and forget that person. No point in having someone like that stick around to ruin my parade. I try not to go crazy when plans bomb out or when appointments are missed. Because if and when they do certainly it must be for some reason. Eventually something much better takes its place. But I try to make sure that I don't miss the good idea - thought - benefit or lesson behind it. Better to see it with a positive eye, otherwise it's bound to cause more stress in trying to figure out what happened.

I believe in miracles and blessings which certainly come plenty if one takes pains to find out or see it. I indeed seek for blessings because my mom said I should. Funny isn't it, so many things mothers tell their children and which children often forget. Glad that I remembered this one. You see mom would always tell me that there is always one when you come looking for it... and sometimes even when you aren't looking. Blessings don't always come wrapped up in gorgeous ribbons or other fancy trimmings or make a huge dramatic entrance into your life. Nope. Sometimes it's just there beside you or within you making you feel... peace calm serene joy hope strength inspiration faith... something you thought you'd never experience as the rest of your world comes tumbling down or has already.

I am happy where happiness finds me.... and if sorrow should come I'd probably cry too. Oh yes, probably hurt and ache, grieve, be miserable... but I know better now that these things are fleeting and would easily pass just like all of life. Besides things which I have no control over are no longer mine to worry about. Troubles are plenty it's true and nobody's spared of it, but we can choose how to face them. Thus if I don't have the solutions, then I leave them at the foot of the Cross for God to handle. He's better at it you know. So much better. I've learned that wonderful truth too. ---


12 comments:

  1. It is a welcome and extraordinary transformation.Pray tell us how you could bring this about.This is perhaps the best way to lead one's life.Thank you

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  2. Ellen,

    So nice of you to share your experience of life. And not in preachy way. It is a fact that a person matures with age as he or she undergoes so much in life that enriches experience. Some may be exceptions too. I also know that today's generation feels that they know everything and elders are just fussy lot. I agree that each generation is more intelligent and more techno-savvy but that does not make up for on hand experience. I used to be very impulsive and short tempered. It is over a period that I saw there was no gain in that but rather I lost ground and trust of people. So I made concerted efforts to change and then found inner peace.

    Take care

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  3. Hi KP,

    There's no applied formula to it, it's something that creeps on you when you're in a reflective mood. Well maybe I would suggest for a person to be more reflective on life, things, people, and the world outside. A lot is going on everyday and these things send us important messages to enrich our mundane lives. Yet we tend to ignore them cos we're more bent on making a living, sending our children to school, mapping out careers, and surviving in the asphalt jungle we see ourselves in. Oh those things are essential too, 'won't argue that. But we do it all at the expense of our inner growth - our essential core. By our fault, it languishes from neglect thus we become zombies rather than shine out as human beings.

    Lols there's more but I'll leave that to your own reflection. Thanks for dropping by and for your wonderful comment. God bless.

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  4. Hi Jack,

    I agree with you. :-) Often we get to learn some good wisdom at a later point in life. True that these things should have been learned early on, if possible .. but having it now makes it even so much a greater learning focal point. Perhaps our experiences have honed or opened up our senses to receive life's teachings better. Life is indeed a good teacher... it knows when and how.

    You are correct that youth often puts up a lot of resistance to wisdom and learning thinking that they have learned all that they need to learn bout life and living. The things of the young are learned by the young. While the things of the young AND the old -- are learned by the person who has aged and matured reflectively honed well by experience and wisdom. Indeed such knowledge and understanding gained enables us to enjoy peace, within and without.

    Thank you for your wonderful visit and for your interesting comment. Take care and God bless.

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  5. God!Ellen this is awesome, Id love to be that way :) you are an inspirational personality...I blessed to follow your blog..thanks for spreading the joy and inspiring one and all...
    I'll aspire towards those words :)

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  6. Hi Sana,

    May God fill you with His grace and love to help you achieve a blessed life. Be blessed and stay blessed.

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  7. Hi Ellen,

    Long time....I did got busy with my venture. But reading this today I realised...I must have missed so much. Nevertheless, this is wonderful. In between....I did felt that at times I feel similar contentment in life but I wish I do get a piece of warmth, contentment, patience & peace like you....I am sure life would be better and the world would be a better place.

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  8. Hi Jigyasa,

    Everything has its own time. That includes whatever learning we are made to do by life. You're well on your own journey and I am sure that you will achieve what you have set out to achieve for yourself.

    Perhaps what we should remember is... that a person would come out much better when equipped with the honest desire to learn -- rather than learn for learning's sake. Thereby lifting that person up a notch higher in intellectual and emotional maturity and stature each time he makes the grade.

    Have missed you, Jigyasa.
    Glad to see you back. :-)
    God bless you and your family.

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  9. Beautiful... Your blog helped me a lot. I was feeling bit down with lots of things happening around me so quickly that even the good things didn't appear that good but after reading your post I'm feeling light and at peace with my self. You write so good that everything starts to appear normal and full of positivity. Thank You for taking out your time to write so that even an unknown can feel good about it. God Bless You.

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  10. Hi Aby,

    It truly wonderful to see you here. Welcome! :-)

    Well, you are no longer 'unknown' now.. at least not to me. Because I have made you my friend.. if that's okay with you? :-)

    Oh don't worry, we all have our 'odd' days and it always gives us that feeling of being overwhelmed by everything falling on our heads like a deck of cards. But the fine thing is that it does not last -it passes. Just like morning to night, sunrise to sunset, and the passing of the seasons and time. We survive such days, we always do.

    Thanks for your lovely visit. By the way, love the writing in your blog.. simple and honest. Keep writing. Take care and God bless you.

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  11. Hi Ma'am Ellen, I hope you'll never get tired hearing me say "thank you" for sharing with us your insights. Every visit to your blog gives me comfort and peace.

    Again, thank you.

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  12. And you know what, Sashin...
    every time you and the others come visiting the blog, my day brightens up hugely! It's not just you saying 'thank you'... I thank you too for taking time to drop by and leave comments that inspire and make my day. :-) Take care and God bless!

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:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to ellen622@gmail.com. Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!