Monday, December 14, 2009


When your bones ache, or your head does, or your insides rock and your limbs feel like crumbling... when nothing comes close to easing your pains, you feel like screaming your lungs out -- and you do! Well, maybe not literally but it finds its way in fury which is often meaninglessly and unnecessarily heaped upon the person or people near you or who by chance happen to be in its way. That's sad, because you have not only added to your misery but made others miserable too by yours.

Suffering in whatever form and of any kind is difficult. It is hard to imagine what goes on in that person's mind or what is being felt in the heart. Physical or emotional pain is a burden that runs deep and intense that it upsets everything else within and without. The strong are reduced to putty and the weak are made even weaker. The world seems to crumble down with that person along with it... or so he would think.

I will not venture to give advise on this matter because the lesson here is better understood when one has already mellowed in years and gained much in wisdom. But there are some though young are so blessed and filled with the spirit who would understand -- as the saints have shown us.

So what am I driving at here?

I am simply sharing an observation --- that people who suffer pain tend to vent their frustration and helplessness in serious expressions of anger. And this often leads to hurting others more than we imagine. But there is no point in bringing in other people into your suffering. They, just like the rest of humankind, have their own crosses to bear too. We all have and all do. Thus it would be best to remember what Maya Angelou once said.....

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one..'


  1. I totally agree with u Ellen, we have no right to hurt others when we're in pain. Why is it that the people we hurt at this point of time are the ones closest to us??Guess the answer lies in our understanding. Just because the ppl who love us can bear with us we end up hurting them, but one should never take our loved ones for granted, they are the most precious gems that we posses,they are our world, the foundation on which our life is moulded.
    Thanks for sharing such a beautiful thought:) Have a great week ahead!

  2. Hello Sana/NewBeginning,

    Beautiful insight; so true! I remember an old song which goes like this -- "you always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all..." :-)

    Thanks for this lovely visit.
    By the way, have left message too in your recent post. Take care and God bless!

  3. Hi Ellen:)


    You have very vividly explained what happens to a person in pain. It is absolutely true that we take it to our near and dear ones and make them suffer for no reason at all. Sometimes we upset them so badly that it becomes impossible to repair the damage.

    We have to bear our pain and suffering stoically because they are a part and parcel of life. But we being humans tend to take it on others specially the ones near to us.

    St.Francis Xavier, when he was under temptation, he used to tie himself tightly with ropes that it pained him very badly. The pain was so much that the tempation vanished.

    Very interesting and thought provokeing post and a beautiful photo.

    Have a lovely day Ellen:)

  4. A big WELCOME to you, Joseph! :-)

    You have summed it up beautifully with this wisdom and insight >> "...We have to bear our pain and suffering stoically because they are a part and parcel of life. But we being humans tend to take it on others specially the ones near to us."

    Thank you for coming by. It's a pleasure I shall always keep. I hope you're having a good day and with the rest of the week ahead. God bless you and your family.

  5. Well said Ellen,
    My little one has learnt this lesson quiet young, i feel at the age of 1.9 months. Since he was thirteen he got into the process of teething, and only last week he was going through the pains that apart fever, cold and cough - but to my surprise and something i keep wondering about him since then, he did not put me in trouble at all for those few days. My freind visited my home that day, i made him sit near me and was busy gossiping with her. During the conversation, i noticed drop of tears falling from his eyes as they got watering coz of fever but yeah, he never yelled screamed or put the whole house into errands. Ofcourse whole day he did lie asleep and in the evening wanted a strawl outside when i spotted my neighbour freind and brough in just for a chat.

    At times, i do feel my little one is an angel!!!!!! Always there to smile but never to put me in trouble.

  6. Pearl! so glad to see you. :-)

    More than an angel -- he's a teacher to us adults. Wisdom learned from a small kid. Indeed. Your little one is a blessing --- God's gift to you. Your life will even be more blessed in his growing up years and beyond.

    Once more I say how happy I am to see you..'been such a long while. Do come again and tell me more stories about your precious little one. Do always take care.Blessings to you and your family.


:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!