Saturday, March 27, 2010


It’s not all the time that I want company, or listen to the noise of endless banter, or watch the chaotic human parade of other people’s lives. It’s vexing to the mind, is wearying to the heart, and tires the soul down. It leads to confusion and troubling vibrations in the air turning my world upside down. It’s startling how all these can touch your own sphere of life and leave you so drained. But don't we all feel that way some time or another?

Sometimes … I simply want to be alone. To be there in the my own moment just being - To feel the soft breeze on my face – To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin – To hear birds chirping on the trees – To feel the waters under my feet walking by the seashore – To touch the petal of a flower – To watch the sun go down on the horizon – To let the rain touch my skin – To write my dreams on clouds of flight – To be still - To hear my heartbeat.

Sometimes I simply want to be that little child on God’s lap – to tell him about how Peter and Jane have hurt me – to ask him to make Billy the Bully a good boy so that he won’t bother me again when I walk by his house – to tell my mom and dad to please know why I cry when they leave for the office – to tell him how bad I feel because Santa Claus didn’t give me a Barbie Doll for Christmas – to ask him to make grandpa well again so that we could play – to thank him for letting Mom cook my favorite spaghetti with huge meatballs every Saturday YUMMY!

Sometimes I simply want to be with my thoughts – thinking of the past and the things it has left me with – thinking of the present and how it’s forming my tomorrows – wondering what my tomorrows will be like or when I will be finally gone.

Sometimes I simply want to be – seeing my flaws, mistakes, imperfections – seeing how fragile and vulnerable I truly am – looking at my limitations, my borders, my walls – and yet understanding that I too have my own strengths, potential, and the power to dream. That everything there, good or bad, has shaped who I am. That all that I was, is, and will be is the story of my life.

Sometimes I simply want to be here – with nothing – doing nothing – yet loving everything.

"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." - Pearl Buck (1892-1973)


  1. ohhhh hi Ate Ellen, musta na po?
    Oh I love this one!
    pasensya na po ngayon na lang po ulit nakapag-iwan ng comments, I do try to visit here so often, oh how amazing is your trip with family sa Boracay! wow! kainggit promise!

    Anyway po, i love this specific entry kasi po this is what I needed so badly..but in my situation right now, to be alone seem so impossible, ok maybe not really impossible, its just hard unless i will sacrifice to wake up at 5am, or stay up until 1 am ha hah..or something like that, that's the only time that will seem to work for me right now..

    thanks for this post, i super love it..and yes, i totally agree, i believe "to be alone" once in a while, is always a healing moment.

  2. Hi Khel! :-)

    You are so right -- "..i believe "to be alone" once in a while, is always a healing moment." -- That's what I do when things come up to here and make me feel like drowning. 'Alone time' is where we get back our perspectives on --life, people, events, everything. We need to breathe again and get back on track refreshed recharged energized.

    Oh I'm confident you can creatively find that alone time for yourself. I'll bet on that. Sabi nga ng lolo ko 'pag ginusto, mangyayari'. O di ba? lols! :-)

    Thanks again for dropping by. Loving it each time that you do. So keep coming. :-)

  3. Loved the quote andthe post. Ye all of us have an abode within us, where we like to be all by our selves, its very imp to spend time with oneself, specially to regain the peace within :)
    Thanks for sharing the beautiful thought Ellen, I can truely relate to it!

  4. Hi Sana,

    Beautifully said -- "..its very imp to spend time with oneself, specially to regain the peace within :).."

    So nice and delighted that you could drop by tonight. Thanks! :-) See you around, here or in your blog.


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