Friday, February 20, 2009


It’s not all the time that I want company, or listen to the noise of endless banter, or watch the chaotic human parade of other people’s lives. It’s vexing to the mind, is wearying to the heart, and tires the soul down. It leads to confusion and troubling vibrations in the air turning my world upside down. It’s startling how all these can touch your own sphere of life and leave you so drained by it all.

Sometimes … I simply want to be alone. To be there in the my own moment just being - To feel the soft breeze on my face – To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin – To hear birds chirping on the trees – To feel the waters under my feet walking by the seashore – To touch the petal of a flower – To watch the sun go down on the horizon – To let the rain touch my skin – To write my dreams on clouds of flight – To be still - To hear my heartbeat.

Sometimes I simply want to be that little child on God’s lap – to tell him about how Peter and Jane have hurt me – to ask him to make Billy the Bully a good boy so that he won’t bother me again when I walk by his house – to tell my mom and dad to please know why I cry when they leave for the office – to tell him how bad I feel because Santa Claus didn’t give me a Barbie Doll for Christmas – to ask him to make grandpa well again so that we could play – to thank him for letting Mom cook my favorite spaghetti with huge meatballs every Saturday YUMMY!

Sometimes I simply want to be with my thoughts – thinking of the past and the things it has left me with – thinking of the present and how it’s forming my tomorrows – wondering what my tomorrows will be like or when I will be finally gone.

Sometimes I simply want to be – seeing my flaws, mistakes, imperfections – seeing how fragile and vulnerable I truly am – looking at my limitations, my borders, my walls – and yet understanding that I too have my own strengths, potential, and the power to dream. That everything there, good or bad, has shaped who I am. That all that I was, is, and will be is the story of my life.

Sometimes I simply want to be here – with nothing – doing nothing – yet loving everything.
"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” -  Pearl Buck (1892 – 1973)


  1. hi Ellen...
    the post seems to b straight from ur soul...
    the portion that shows u as a awesome...
    opening ur self, watching it... make difference to self...
    being alone can take u to unknown places...surprising though...

  2. :-) Isn't it better writing from one's soul? That's what you do with your love poems. I can see your heart in it. Truth speaks from the soul -- and the heart tells no lies.

    Have a pleasant weekend with your lovely family. Blessings to you all.

  3. Ellen,

    Sorry for being absent for few days and had to catch up with 3 posts now. A lot of change does come in a person in a year specially when one is getting older. Nice songs put together. One does look for solitude at times but not loneliness.

    You can now visit me here also as I write under the same name.

    Take care

  4. Hi Niceguy,

    Great to be seeing you again. Oh don't worry, I can understand how life often keeps us mortals so busy with lots of things Lols! Oh you bet, I will be checking out your blog. See yah then, here or in your blog. :-)

  5. Replies
    1. WELCOME to the blog, Anonymous :-) Thank you for appreciating the piece. Do come again. Blessings to you and your loved ones.

  6. thank you for writing this, love everything that you write there. :-) i happened to come across your blog coz i usu like talking to internet, searching for articles that sync to what i have in mind to read. and i happen to be in my 'quiet' mode. i guess i need it in order to heal and organize my inner self. :-) have a nice day.

  7. Hi, sunday and toast! And that, by the way, is my favorite for Sunday breakfast--- toast and butter spread all over it yummyyy! :-)

    WELCOME to the blog! It's a delight and pleasure to know that you appreciate the writing. Just like you I too cruise down blogs to find one in sync with the thoughts running through my mind on that particular day. It's a wonderful blog world ... and plenty of good writing and writers out there. Worth the cruise :-)

    Thanks for dropping by.


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