Monday, August 9, 2010

BEAUTIFUL WORDS FROM A STRANGER


I would have narrated what transpired in full but decided not to. Because I want to direct your attention to what this wonderful old lady said. Her words kept ringing in my ears long after she had gone and I was back home in the house.

Well, I sat at one of the chairs lining the wall opposite the receiving counter. We were inside the parish office of this particular church. My daughter was talking with the clerk in charge of records when a heavy pleasant looking lady came in and approached the same counter wanting to buy a mass card for her dear departed. She was attended to by another clerk while all the time through the process she was carrying on a monologue about parents and children. It seemed like a monologue to me because I noticed that the employee simply did nothing but smile.

But I liked what she said although I didn't know what prompted the nice lady to speak on the subject as I heard no questions asked of her by anyone in the room. Anyway here's what she said.

To quote:

"I tell my children to make the most of time spent with me. I tell them to buy me the prettiest of flowers, take me to the nicest places, treat me to the best dishes, and see me everyday. Everyday. I tell them to make everyday special while they can and while I am here able to enjoy it all.

They should not wait for later or tomorrow or next month. They should not leave me to the maids to care for my needs or when I am sick. They should not buy me things to silence or entertain me because they are too busy to ever give me their time. They should call me on the phone or write me letters or text me --- they should talk to me. They should ask about me at every chance they get. Find out if I am well or not, have eaten or not, happy or not, or ask me if I want some ice cream or 'chicharon bulaklak'! (a local delicacy) Or maybe want to take a nice long walk in the park. It feels so good when they see me as a person and not as a figure close to extinction.

I don't need flowers when I'm gone; I want them all now. Now where I can smell it, appreciate it, hold it in my hand, kiss its smooth petals, put it in a vase so that I can gaze at it all day. I want those flowers now offered with their hands because it is now that I want to feel their love, see their smiles, enjoy their presence, and relish the idea of being treasured and adored and made to feel that I exist wonderfully in their lives -- all that and more as it warms every beat of my aging heart.

Don't bring me flowers when I'm gone -- I don't need it. Bring me flowers today --- I want it."


Her name? Letty. An amazing lady!
She meant to impress on her listener, the clerk, (apparently an unwilling listener lols) that the aging of a member of the family should not be an excuse to break down the family unit in pockets of isolation. The family should always stand connected with one another, supportive with one another -- all these and more in the midst of the pressures of our modern world.


And because life is short...
she meant to say that we with our families should TREASURE ONE ANOTHER WHILE WE MAY. And why she said -- "Don't bring me flowers when I'm gone. Bring me flowers TODAY."


I am hoping that she will be understood in that light. She's one amazing and remarkable lady, no matter that I've just met her and in such a brief and yet precious encounter. Beautiful words from a stranger!



14 comments:

  1. Wow! very encouraging quote, extremely dramatic words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't need flowers when I'm gone; I want them all now.
    Nice thought.Everything should be done in due time before it is late.

    But the lady sounded a bit self centred wanting attention all the time.She has forgotten to withdraw herself gradually.Undue expectation is the beginning of miisery.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good morning, May! Lovely day outside my window now. :-) Yeah, wasn't she amazing. There's truth in her words. Am glad not to have missed it.

    Thanks for the visit.
    Blessings to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello Parth,

    I think her monologue should be looked at from the standpoint of imparting an important lesson to her children. What she probably meant to emphasize is ----for everyone to treasure who they are with now.... and not wait for tomorrow for tomorrow that person may be gone from your life.

    Personally, I wouldn't even try to withdraw myself from life and living for any reason, even aging for that matter. Because I believe that this is the moment when a person should stay even more connected with his loved ones, life, world. Distancing one's self from family would be quite unfair to them. It's like depriving them the chances of loving you.. of showing you how much you matter to them.. of wanting to care for you no matter what.

    If one learns to live one day at a time, there would be no room for expectations. Not really. Because one would be so engaged and engrossed in enjoying his or her life in that precious moment of one day. One needs to relearn one simple truth -- that much happiness is derived from thinking outward rather than inward to self.

    The amazing lady meant to stress the fact that the aging of a member of the family should not be an excuse to break down the family unit in pockets of isolation. The family should always stand connected with one another, supportive with one another -- all these and more in the midst of the pressures of our modern world.

    And because life is short...
    she meant to say that we with our families should TREASURE ONE ANOTHER WHILE WE MAY. And why she said -- "Don't bring me flowers when I'm gone. Bring me flowers TODAY."

    I am hoping that she will be understood in that light. She's one remarkable lady.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ellen,

    I fully agree with her. I had written a post long ago about rituals we do for departed soul just to show off while during his or her life time we may have totally neglected him or her. Sad but true fact of life.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Ellen,
    NAMASTE1
    Good Morning!
    Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful thoughts from the stranger.I can relate so well.I am carrying some good values with me to my work place.
    Thanks dear,today I will smile more and cause more smiles inspire and encourage others.:)
    Ellen,Thank you so much!
    Wishing you a bright and beautiful day ahead,
    Sasneham,
    Anu

    ReplyDelete
  7. It is sad, Jack, that we tend to take so many things in life for granted, including the people so very dear to us -- our families. Maybe some would say that it is the downside of modern living and our current times but I beg to disagree with that. If we can manage efficiently our office affairs.. why then can't we manage just as efficiently our time with loved ones?? They deserve it. Jobs and career could be lost .. but our families are there with us through thick and thin. Forever!

    Thanks for coming by.
    May God bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good morning, Anu! :-)

    "..today I will smile more and cause more smiles inspire and encourage others.:) .."

    That's beautiful, BEAUTIFUL!!
    And so will I! :-) :-) :-)

    Blessings to you and your loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ellen, I have seen fruits and flowers sent to patients in hospitals. What a waste? The poor patients could hardly enjoy the flowers, let alone to taste the fruits. I like what NIKE suggests: " Just do it " Don't wait. Do it now!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not a waste, Tom. The patients may not enjoy the flowers nor taste the fruit.. but one thing is sure -- the person who brought them in definitely left his mark in that room. Meaning, his virtue character and soul. And this can never be missed by anyone -- be it the patient when he recovers or his relatives when they come visiting. Good, joy, sincerity, compassion, sympathy, care and concern --- they always leave their footprints behind wherever they go. :-)

    Nike's message... is also the old lady's message said a different way.

    Thanks for coming by and too for sharing your insights with us. Blessings to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Don't bring me flowers when I'm gone -- I don't need it. Bring me flowers today --- I want it." - we still wait for tomorrow t spend some time with our loved ones - sad but true! Can i post this on my fb profile ?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Librangirl,

    Yes, it's so true. Wisdom which should lead our lives each day.

    Oh please go ahead and take what you want from the blog. Share it. And pay forward the little old lady's wisdom. Am doing the same here at my end. :-)

    Blessings to you, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  13. So meaningful. If only, we care to listen, and do something for our parents / grandparents TODAY rather than wait till we have free time, bcoz then, it might be too late.

    Thanks for sharing it with us Ellen.

    ReplyDelete
  14. How true, RGB, "... If only, we care to listen, and do something for our parents / grandparents TODAY rather than wait till we have free time, bcoz then, it might be too late."

    Take care, my friend.
    God bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete

:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to ellen622@gmail.com. Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!