Sunday, August 18, 2013

CLOSURE -- A BLESSING OR A BURDEN?

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Being fine-tuned to life and to things around you is a plus more than an inconvenient irritation. The latter unfortunately is how most people see most of life. I don't blame them there's more that hurts the eye or the mind or the heart than desired. What is happening now in the no longer revered walls of our congress goes top on that list. The bottom line of it all is it's a battle among the good, the bad, and the ugly. How it will end is anybody's guess. How it affects (you) us is our job.

Back to the fine-tuning.

I have observed and learned something about 'closure' from watching this TV show last night 'Burn Notice' (season 5; final season is 7).  Michael (the lead star) and his mom were talking about a young person who felt so hurt and pained by what happened to his sister caused by, of course, the bad guy in the show. It was something which she said (and I had to write it down immediately before it got lost) which struck me and it goes like this.....

"You know, people talk about closure, but I don’t buy it. People blast a hole in your life, it tends to stay open."

That made me think.

That hole in one's life therefore doesn't really disappear!? It's not just a skin-deep, superfluous, temporal thing that simply leaves on its own or goes away when the cause is eliminated (as in the TV show). It's there as real as potholes and bumps on our city streets which undergo a thousand makeovers but underneath it all still lie the hole or holes. Not wise therefore to simply gloss over a person's pain to make him feel better. So it doesn't work that way.

'A hole in your life' could mean a lot of things. A hurtful relationship, a betrayal, bad things happening to good people in your life, failures, rejection, and other mountain-size of unpleasantness, to say the least, that hits you straight where it can hurt most. That hole in your life is a core-deep experience. The core, as we know it to be, is usually that place within where you find your comfort safety and balance. But as life seems to have the knack for doing it... one day it sends something to blast through those safe walls and create a hole, a damn huge one, which then shakes up your world big time.

That hole never gets closed again, it stays open.. as Michael's mom said. But then at the end of the conversation, she hinted (smart lady) that it was up to us how to respond to it and said ... 'someone has to teach him...' and Michael went on to do just that.

What a great lesson..... to deal with the holes in our life... not meaning to close them as it never will. It may simply stay there as an ugly bump, a stinging sore and scar, or stays there as a gaping hole... defiant maybe and could hurt you again when someone or something rubs you the wrong way one day. But and BUT you don't let it define you as a person. Rather you let it be a reminder that you above all else can be stronger and smarter than you think. That you know about 'holes in our life'... it's part of the landscape, territory, tapestry, spectrum, diversity, and the reality of the good-the bad-and-the ugly ... of our existence, like it or not. That you have learned well and have become much wiser - smarter - better - and importantly in control. That you have learned to use the tools wired in you by the Divine to overcome challenge. Now isn't this what they say about true power? Honestly I'd like a piece of that. Don't you too?

Okay, I think I'll finish off season 5 tonight.
See you all next -ish!
Rainy Sunday but it's just rain.
Blessings, everyone!


4 comments:

  1. Exactly! that is what closure really means :-)

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    1. Oh indeed :-) Great to see you!
      Have a lovely day.

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  2. Ellen,

    Could read 2 current posts in this sitting. It is small gestures which show mettle of a person as we all, well almost all, are wired to do our expected duties. One needs to learn to live with whatever be it and not fret over sad aspects. That is the only way to maintain sanity and peace of mind.

    Take care

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    1. Happy to see you, Jack. Thank you for coming by and sharing your usual insight and wisdom to the subject. Take care and blessings to you and your family.

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