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As is the old habit of sorting through old files with the intent of trimming it down to the essential and getting rid of the unessential, I made through the files before me with clinical precision which led to the trash can filling up so quickly. Half way through the mound of papers though... I came upon this sheet with an article on it from July 26, 2004, written by Susan Titus Osborn, "Rest Stops For Single Moms". Yes 2004 -- but it's wisdom is timeless! .. Here's why..
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The title: "I LEARNED TO LEAN INTO THE PAIN INSTEAD OF AVOIDING OR FIGHTING IT."
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Here's what it says........ and to quote
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A good friend quoted to me the above phrase. Well, can you show me a woman who hasn't shed a tear (quietly or not) for self, parents, husband, and children. But you can't because none exists. Pain rides the whole crest of the various roles a woman plays in life.
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How does a woman survive all that? --- Simple. She leans into the pain. Like a single mother picks up the pieces of her life and valiantly builds a new life for herself and her children. Like a woman playing both father and mother roles in the home because her husband is in Saudi working for the money he sends home. Like a daughter bravely carrying on with a boring job all because she has to pay the hospital bills of her terminally ill parent. Like a steelhearted mother who seeks out help from individuals or institutions for her physically impaired child. Like a wife betrayed by an insensitive spouse yet finds the strength to shield her children from its pain.
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They all lean into the pain. Not running away, not avoiding it. Like the Blessed Virgin who stayed close by her Son. Mary always reflected on the events of her life and knew all were for a reason known only to the mind and heart of an All-Knowing and Mighty God. She leaned into her pain because there she found the knowledge and understanding of her role in the divine plan of God. She didn't avoid it nor run away. She simply said "Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy Word." And rose to be the bravest woman in the history of humankind.
.
One late afternoon, I saw this woman waiting for her bus at the same terminal I frequented. She looked like any ordinary person in her late forties. But it was her face that I couldn't take my eyes away from. Truly her life was visibly etched on her face ----- fine lines that ran deeply across the width of her angular face and yet seemed to proudly say "I've been through bad times... and survived it all. I'm not afraid if there are more." Here was a woman who probably knew how to lean into her pain. Who probably also knew that the Blessed Mary has done it before --- and she can, too. No doubt about it.
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Unquote.
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It's a beautiful one, isn't it? .. and why I have kept it for so long.
.
Yet, pain is not the monopoly of women. Men feel pain, too. And maybe there are no stories like this to tell us how men do that... but I dare say that men too lean into their pain. Otherwise, how can you explain a husband and father holding on to his job or two jobs for his family's sake, or a son who carries on with a college course not of his own choice but which will help support his aging parents in the shortest possible time, and so much more that could also fill a book. And how you wondered about St. Joseph? How he set aside his personal pain of being the brunt of the people's censure and ridicule for taking Mary and her baby Jesus for his own? He loved Mary and Jesus and he also understood his role in the divine scheme of things. He leaned into his pain for something bigger than himself.
As is the old habit of sorting through old files with the intent of trimming it down to the essential and getting rid of the unessential, I made through the files before me with clinical precision which led to the trash can filling up so quickly. Half way through the mound of papers though... I came upon this sheet with an article on it from July 26, 2004, written by Susan Titus Osborn, "Rest Stops For Single Moms". Yes 2004 -- but it's wisdom is timeless! .. Here's why..
.
The title: "I LEARNED TO LEAN INTO THE PAIN INSTEAD OF AVOIDING OR FIGHTING IT."
.
Here's what it says........ and to quote
.
A good friend quoted to me the above phrase. Well, can you show me a woman who hasn't shed a tear (quietly or not) for self, parents, husband, and children. But you can't because none exists. Pain rides the whole crest of the various roles a woman plays in life.
.
How does a woman survive all that? --- Simple. She leans into the pain. Like a single mother picks up the pieces of her life and valiantly builds a new life for herself and her children. Like a woman playing both father and mother roles in the home because her husband is in Saudi working for the money he sends home. Like a daughter bravely carrying on with a boring job all because she has to pay the hospital bills of her terminally ill parent. Like a steelhearted mother who seeks out help from individuals or institutions for her physically impaired child. Like a wife betrayed by an insensitive spouse yet finds the strength to shield her children from its pain.
.
They all lean into the pain. Not running away, not avoiding it. Like the Blessed Virgin who stayed close by her Son. Mary always reflected on the events of her life and knew all were for a reason known only to the mind and heart of an All-Knowing and Mighty God. She leaned into her pain because there she found the knowledge and understanding of her role in the divine plan of God. She didn't avoid it nor run away. She simply said "Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy Word." And rose to be the bravest woman in the history of humankind.
.
One late afternoon, I saw this woman waiting for her bus at the same terminal I frequented. She looked like any ordinary person in her late forties. But it was her face that I couldn't take my eyes away from. Truly her life was visibly etched on her face ----- fine lines that ran deeply across the width of her angular face and yet seemed to proudly say "I've been through bad times... and survived it all. I'm not afraid if there are more." Here was a woman who probably knew how to lean into her pain. Who probably also knew that the Blessed Mary has done it before --- and she can, too. No doubt about it.
.
Unquote.
.
It's a beautiful one, isn't it? .. and why I have kept it for so long.
.
Yet, pain is not the monopoly of women. Men feel pain, too. And maybe there are no stories like this to tell us how men do that... but I dare say that men too lean into their pain. Otherwise, how can you explain a husband and father holding on to his job or two jobs for his family's sake, or a son who carries on with a college course not of his own choice but which will help support his aging parents in the shortest possible time, and so much more that could also fill a book. And how you wondered about St. Joseph? How he set aside his personal pain of being the brunt of the people's censure and ridicule for taking Mary and her baby Jesus for his own? He loved Mary and Jesus and he also understood his role in the divine scheme of things. He leaned into his pain for something bigger than himself.
.
Pain is
also felt by young children. Have you ever thought what goes on in the
mind of a young street child? How his young innocent heart aches to
play, go to school, or celebrate birthday parties? His heart aches.
But he carries on walking the streets begging for money or food which
apparently he will bring home to his family. He leans into his pain too and in the only way he knows how.... survive.
.
Pain, as we all know it by now, is both a human blessing and a bane or tribulation. Pain has its own purpose too... some we may not fully understand. But definitely pain is part of that package called life.
.
Be a hero to yourself. God bless you.
.
Pain, as we all know it by now, is both a human blessing and a bane or tribulation. Pain has its own purpose too... some we may not fully understand. But definitely pain is part of that package called life.
.
Be a hero to yourself. God bless you.
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