YOU CAN'T BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE

 

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I was cruising down the LinkedIn site and stumbled on this these beautiful lines. It's just a part of the article '8 Behaviors of Phenomenally Successful People', (By Jeff Haden. Ghost writer, speaker, LinkedIn influencer, contributing editor for Inc.) The article makes for a good read but these lines at the bottom struck me the most....... to quote'
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"You worry about what other people think. (Don't feel bad -- I'm sure I do that as much as anyone.) Yet no matter how hard you try, you can't be all things to all people. But you can be as many things as possible to the people you love. And you can be the best you. Be yourself. That is the one thing you can do better than anyone else."
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I have singled that out because it resonated well with a chat I had with a friend a couple of months ago. She's one who worries a lot about what others may say about whatever she does. Drives me crazy listening to her list of -- 'what if' -- 'would they like it' -- 'am I doing it right'.
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She is a people pleaser but is overdoing the whole thing much to her own discomfort and misery. Sad?.. but don't worry, she's quite an intelligent person too and will in good time realize what she should be learning and change what should be changed. Just needing a gentle nudge perhaps in that direction. Sometimes change comes slow and the transformation slower to some people.
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Jeff Haden said it perfectly.... 'Yet no matter how hard you try, you can't be all things to all people.' -
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So why even try? Every person on this planet sees the world, life, people through his own set of eyes.. brains, and heart. He thinks, sees, and acts off his own set of insights, perceptions, measure and standards. So whatever he sees it may not really be all about you (if you happen to be in the picture); rather it's dictated by his own set of rules by which he evaluates everything, tangible or intangible. Remember this? -- That 'we see things not as they are but as we are.'
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The best way to live life is how Jeff Haden puts it ---- 'And you can be the best you. Be yourself. That is the one thing you can do better than anyone else.' ---- And I agree 200%. And don't listen to people who say that you can't... because you can!
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By the way, it's still the month of June; I know somebody out there has this as his or her birthday month, too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May you be blessed with wonderful things to last you a lifetime.

A BETTER VERSION TODAY THAN YESTERDAY

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How I wish that every insecure unsure child or adult could read this.........

".....When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way."   --- Doe Zantamata

Here's a little story, it's about a friend. We were buddies at work. She was pretty, bright, friendly and yet when conversation came down to achievement and dreams I would see some sadness in her eyes. She would evade the subject. It seemed that there was this room where a door stood shut with a sign which said --  'do not enter'.

One day I could not stand seeing her sadness one more time and so point-blankly asked her 'what's wrong?' I guess the key to that forbidden door was simply to ask the question.

Long story short, she never felt that she would be anything or anyone in her life. She tried and failed and this was taken up against her by her father who  would say .....'wala kang kwenta! (you're no good) every time she failed. "Mabuti pa si____ sa'yo ... malayo na ang narating." ( ____ has done better than you; she's gone far).  So finally, at long last, I understood her sadness. 

This is as much as I can tell about her story. Oh she's fine now; she's learning though learning can be slow at times. But she'll get there one day soon and be the better version of who she was yesterday.

'Wala kang kwenta' 'You're no good'  ----- Never say that to anyone, especially to your family. And when somebody says that to you, be they family, friend or foe ----  Don't listen! 

You are who you are and have become what you planned for by your own effort and dreams. You are a different person today positively from your old self of yesterday. That is success! Although some struggles may still be there and the journey sometimes slow but the magnificent work is continuing. Somebody up there isn't sleeping. Remember that you are a work in progress...  and that is good! And one day  ---- you will hold the stars.. your dreams.. in your hands. By God's design.

QUALITY IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT

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This came to me in email shared by my good friend, Mr. Quote Man. To quote.....

 "When you’re a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers,  you’re not going to use a piece of plywood on the back,  even though it faces the wall and nobody will ever see it.  You’ll know it’s there, so you’re going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back.  For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through."  (Steve Jobs)

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I think that does not speak alone about a job. That also works with the rest of life and living. We are not good just for show. We are good because we are good. It's not that we simply show our good side as in our photogenic side for the camera, but our good has to be rooted down in our core. That's true quality.

Be true to your self. That's all that's being asked of us. Whatever standard or measure or conditions are used on us, let's remember that those things don't matter. You can't let their standards define you. It's their standard or measure, not ours. Because the real challenge is this....  how do you measure up to your own standard of self.

My mom used to say this.... 'Know yourself. And if you see some rough spots, try to smooth them out with learning and more learning. There is always room to grow. But don't let people use their standards on you. It doesn't work that way. Challenge yourself, compete with yourself, benchmark yourself. Always be true to yourself and what you stand for.'

Steve Jobs was right.....  "For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through."

Enjoy your day, with wonderful blessings awaiting you.