TAKE CHANCES, MAKE MISTAKES, GROW

Why is it that whenever the words chances or mistakes are spoken of most people would cringe hearing it? Now give some reason why that is so. No? You can’t? Okay then, I’ll tell you why – it’s because we’ve been made to believe that ‘sticking your head out isn’t good for your sanity’. Haven’t heard that before? I wonder why because that’s what we’ve been doing all along - all of this time - all of our life. Have you noticed that anything which might or tend to crumple our perceived notions of tranquility or.. those which we think would work to extricate us from our comfort zones we vehemently disallow to encroach on our personal space and time. Yes, we don't. It’s avoided with extreme fear and anathema albeit not understanding the reasons at all or not wanting to. ‘Play it safe’ ‘don’t rock the boat’ ‘Make mistakes and you’re a goner’ ‘Err and you’ll suffer’ are but a few odd things we tell ourselves or we hear from people who say they ‘know’. But do they really?

What I know is this – the only genuine way to true learning is by making or experiencing mistakes and sticking our heads out letting something hit it hard so that we can come to our senses at last. Oh I don’t mean that literally of course, don’t get hurt that way, but of course you know what I mean, right? The best lessons are learned from the strife or struggle wherein we get our hands really dirty and our brains spilled out all over the place and our hearts ricocheting here there and everywhere. Only through heartaches and pain from battles fought tenaciously do we get that which we should be learning from life and own it and finally use it.

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being Brave." -- Mary Tyler Moore

PASS QUICKLY THROUGH YOUR TROUBLES

Problems, trials, difficulties, struggles, misfortunes, thorns or whatever else it is called but life surely has a good stack of them to keep us at our wit’s end. Whether they are gigantic or minute these problems can prick us where it can hurt us most -- And how we hurt! The thing is we can’t seem to get us out of there and I wonder why. Is it because being so overwhelmed by it we get dumbstruck and stuck to our shoes where we are? Or… because in our muddled up brains we can’t see anything beyond it? Or…that something got lost inside us and we don’t know how to get it back? Or…might it be that we have hang on doggedly to an idea that someone or something will come soon and pluck us out of our misery? To the latter I’ll say maybe and maybe not.

You do know that ‘life is what you make of it’, as a saying goes. So whether to welter in misery or get on the first plane out of there pronto, so to speak, is all up to you. The longer you stay in a situation where it can hurt you the harder it will hurt you – the harder it will harm you. And soon you will find yourself begin to lose the power to change. You certainly don’t want that, do you? -Because change and only change is your relief and deliverance from your perceived misery.

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." -- Voltaire

DON’T STAND ON A SMALL HILL, GO UP THE MOUNTAIN FOR A BETTER VIEW

‘Do nothing-do something’ or ‘to act-not to act’ --- these are the two things which life will always unfold or present to us - A dilemma which we are made to wrestle with in our lifelong journey. A number of people would say that some concerns do not require earth shaking solutions, sometimes if you leave it alone it just goes away. Oh I don’t know about that, what I see is that when a problem is left alone it tends to fester, seethe, churn, simmer, then evolve or explode into something much bigger that may go out of hand. No matter what the proponents of the do-nothing-resolve would say… that isn’t always the case. It’s rather more of a person’s preference or adherence to his own comfort zones which hold him to take that stand. Still that will not excuse a person from taking a course of action to solve an issue or concern. Problems require solutions, everybody knows that.

Choose to do something, act on the issue – this is far more rewarding and enriching, sometimes life-saving. It does not matter if you can only do so much, nonetheless do it just the same. But if you decide to do nothing because you think there isn’t much you can do, junk that thought right now because it is much better to take those small steps forward ---if that’s gong to take you closer to your goal each time. Try to see it from another perspective, not always yours, and see the problem for what it may or truly could be. There must be something in there you might have missed or didn’t notice. Try to see it with attentive detachment or objectivity. If you are viewing it from a small hill, then go up a mountain to get a better view.

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little." -- Edmund Burke

DON'T WAIT TILL EVERYTHING IS JUST RIGHT

We always expect perfection, in ourselves, in others, in things. Anything which is not right or falling short of our expectations ruffles our peace and composure. Gee, that is a short-sighted way of looking at things or at life in general, don’t you think? “It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions” (Mark Victor Hansen) He is definitely right about that. Nothing is ever perfect, something will be lacking or will never be enough or be made differently from what we had hoped for. So are we going to just sit there and moan the situation or circumstance? Bang our heads against the wall or bang the other guy’s head on the wall for not doing it right? Hansen has an answer to that too… “Don’t wait until everything is just right. Get started now.” He’s referring to you – he says it’s time to get kicking ass – yours! He further added…”With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Imperfections push you to become better! I’ve read this line somewhere though I don’t remember now --- ‘Excellence not perfection is what we’re all aiming for- isn’t it?’

LIFE WON'T ALWAYS GIVE US WHAT WE WANT - BUT BE READY FOR SURPRISES

“So why am I here – in this place in this time? Never planned it nor dreamed about it but I’m here. What am I supposed to be doing here; there is nothing I can see that would tap into my reserves or stack of knowledge talent or skills. I’ve trained for something else – this isn’t what I had hoped for but this is what I get.” --lines from a friend's diary... or somebody's too at some point or another.

Is that frustrating, disappointing, exasperating, maddening, annoying? It sure is. I know; those were my lines before too. But I’ve learned, oh yes I’ve learned. To quote Morgan Freeman ‘…..once you get wherever it is you are going, that is where you were going to be….’ Life is unpredictable, it’s full of surprises – ‘you never know what’s going to happen’ (Freeman said that too). Sometimes you don’t get what you want or hope for. But life moves you to a course where it wants you to journey, I think by Someone’s supreme design. Odd thing is, it pushes you to do the next best thing – give it your best shot whether for the challenge it poses or simply to survive. And what do you get for it? – a smarter and wiser you! Perhaps it was best that it happened this way, if you think about it -- Because would you have ended up this smarter or wiser or successful if you had things going your way? We don’t know that, do we? Ah life!

CHANGING HOW YOU THINK - CHANGES THINGS

"You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions." -- Adlin Sinclair

When I get some bit of bad news, I immediately feel bad about it and behave like I was hit by a huge brick on the head. It eats me up and I begin to act the way I feel. But that isn’t always the smart or wise thing to do. It could be lots better of course, at least in my reaction towards it so that its negativity won’t have to affect or influence me or my day or my life to an extent. So have I learned? Yes, I have; to change the effect of bad news, I need to change my attitude towards it or my way of thinking. It’s somebody else’s bad news. All that I can give to it is sympathy understanding compassion and prayer. I could too do my bit to help alleviate the other person’s pain but there’s only so much that I can do or anyone can do, for that matter. Realizing that then releases me from having to wrestle with odd or unnecessary emotions which shouldn’t be there anyway. Because, truth is, the other person has to deal with the bad news himself his way. He alone will have to extract the lessons that he should be learning – that’s the reason why it’s there – solely for his learning. God meant it that way, you know. This business of living it’s all for the purpose of making ourselves grow – become better. There’s no sidetracking that Divine plan.

IMPLAUSIBLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT WON'T WORK

We are used to looking at the bad side of things that whatever does not meet our expectations are quickly thrown into the ‘will not work’ bin. And definitely we’ve accumulated piles and piles of those ‘will not work’ reasons and have changed bins several times through the years. I don’t know where we got that myopic view of looking at life and living but it sure does not do anything for us at all - Albeit lots of amazingly good opportunities are lost in that manner.

The thing is that something which we may have categorized ‘not plausible’ will just might have one teeny-weeny cause in there which might work to its favor and perhaps turn things around if given the chance -- Unless of course we’ve exhausted our search inside out and satisfyingly proved to ourselves that the case is downright hopeless -- Then and only then should that be bulldozed out of our life. But yes, that would be the exception rather than the rule.

Do you know what keeps scientists, inventors, businessmen et al do their respective tasks a thousand times over – doggedly going back to the drawing boards when stumped with an obstacle, flaw, or hurdle? They keep searching for that one good reason that will tell them that it will work! The things which we are enjoying now from that unflagging effort definitely tell us that they found it. Who’s telling us now that we can’t do the same??

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work.
You only need to find one good reason why it will." - Dr. Robert Anthony

(That picture there is Malen on her way to a big adventure towards her dream. God bless, Honey!)

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 8

Looking back through the years much had happened in my life which certainly could be called as the ‘School of Hard Knocks’. Have you even seen a cartoon in which the leading character just unwittingly got him into a bunch of adventure and misadventure? That wherever he would turn he’d either come up against a thick wall or a steep mountain or perilous sea or some weird unexpected disaster? – Quite insurmountable in every way. That would be me.

But it wasn’t really that terrifying nor was it hopeless because every tale had a quite lovely ending. Credit goes to Someone up there.

What I’m driving at is in those times in-between or when the world seems to suddenly stop turning and you find yourself alone, lonely, isolated from the rest of humankind or so it seems... And something kicks so badly in your gut - That’s when you wish so hard that someone would stop awhile and hold your hand and tell you that everything will be alright - Even if you very well know that it’s farther from the truth. But no matter because all that you ever need and want in that moment is just to have someone to hold your hand and understand.

But of course we don’t say it out loud, do we? We would rather hope and wish in the silence of our hearts that someone would read our minds and see what we see or look deep into our hearts and feel what we feel. How we wish that they won’t be afraid to be there when needed or share that one precious moment of vulnerability of the soul. Is that too much to ask for?

I have learned that sometimes all that a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

(P.S. The picture there is courtesy of Malen's cam-phone.)

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 7

Two very real things happen in life – those things which we can influence or dictate upon --- and those things which we have no direct control over, truly just totally beyond our control.

When you tell yourself that you’ve lost one good opportunity because you failed to do quite enough, that’s only being too hard on yourself. If one thing doesn’t work, there will be lots more, definitely. Your opportunity or chance does not disappear when one excellent prospect flies out the window. Opportunities are still there, it’s only the choices which have been reduced. And it’s no fault of yours either. Remember that it takes two to tango – you and the company you’ve targeted. So you may think that you have what it takes for the job you seek, but think again, that company has its own criteria (they always do) on the people they’d like or want working for them. You may be a multi-faceted and very talented applicant but unfortunately you are not what they need. So say goodbye and walk out the door smiling and move on to the next one on your list. By the way, truth is that opportunity isn’t lost at all because some other guy or girl will be sure to take it. Think good thoughts and wish that person well.

And so I’ve learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT.... Part 6

Yup, I have learned that anyone who stops learning is -- old.

I just don’t get it whenever I hear people say --- ‘enough of learning’ ‘had my fill when I was in school’ ‘am too old for that’ ‘got better things to do’ ‘what Again?!’ Why? What is wrong in searching for learning and even more learning? Do they think that school is all the learning that one should do in life? That once one is done with that one can move on to other things? Oh my goodness, with a big wide world such as ours and with life containing a huge stock pile of experiences, knowledge, facts, adventure, mystery, wonder, diversity, and even more--- wouldn’t it be exciting to get to know all that? Yet my mother would say with a funny smile on her face ‘honey, we would need several lifetimes to hold everything there is to know and learn… and we only got one.’ But with a twinkle in her eye she’d tell me ‘who’s stopping you from trying?’

I got my cue from that, so I say don’t stop learning or wanting to. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a waste of time. Truth is they are wasting their precious time sitting on their butts unwilling to let go of their comfort zones. So what I’m saying is get on with it --- Gather new information into your learning barn; pile up new recipes-new ideas-new discoveries-new adventures… Learn how to do things you’ve never tried before. Read on new subjects which you never laid your hands on before. Pursue new passions. Learn to ride a bike or a car if you’ve never done so ever. Just don’t stop learning. And please – no excuses. Life is too short to make any. I’m sure that you’ve heard that line before. Well, hear it and write it in your heart.

Okay, have to go now. Am trying out how to put in videos unto my blog.

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."
-- Henry Ford