Monday, May 19, 2014


This is a repost for a dear special friend who needs to hear this again.  Meet up for lunch again soon.

This piece was written inspired by a conversation had with bosom buddies over lunch. My pretty friend, in-between bites of roasted chicken, bemoaned the thought (and fact) that she was turning 60 by the end of the month. Oh we comforted and consoled her as friends always do....... with more chicken and pasta and a scrumptious dessert to boot. It works all the time! Anyway, here's the piece.....


This is you...... "Here I am with lines creeping where I wouldn’t want them to (laugh lines is a nice way to call them), a spreading middle (girdle now being overtaxed and overstretched), silver streaks peeking out of once glorious dark tresses (her favorite beautician texted her one day.... 'ma'm, it's time to die' .... dye Yikes!).

I guess women who find they are blowing out 60 or more candles on their cake would consider those in serious retrospect. And looking at the youthful glowing skin, lithe figure, and silky black hair of gorgeous models on the cover of glossy woman magazines or ads serve only to feed that quiet unease.

But wait, consider this! See these women in your ordinary everyday neighborhood .......... the middle-aged woman selling fish and vegetables in the market; the government employee who sells beauty products on the side; the ordinary housewife who does her chores with clockwork precision each day tending to a rowdy brood of five while a husband is away in Saudi; the rural teachers who patiently trod to their classrooms on gravel roads rain or shine... just to name a few.

All these women are real ------- as real as ice cream cones and pizza pies. They may do a hundred turns before the mirror behind closed doors tremulously tracing age’s progress on their faces and skin, yet they don’t fuss and fret over beauty jars and trips to the gym, beauty clinic, salon or spa. Instead, they get busy as mothers, wives, grandmothers, nieces, aunts, office mate, friend and other more roles laid out before them each day.

Then a friend blurted out this question ............... What if those would be gone one day? (and we know it will) -- When age finally creeps in as bones and joints go stiff and ache --- plus other aches and pains that find you though you try not to be found; skin crinkle with defiant lines; eyes strain to read small print; sleep turn erratic; appetites change; visits to the doctor more frequent; and pills nestle permanently in one’s purse.... When loneliness glides into each day furthermore heightened with the children planning careers and lives away from home...... When all that’s left is an aching void within and without. What then is one supposed to do with all that?

Here's what is true....... Lessons learned from life ----- Life does not stand still for those who enter through this portal. But one does have to make a choice --- to move along in step with the changing times — or stay where you are by your lonesome miserable self.

Life is this........ Rising from the hurts, pains, bruises and bumps of a journey through life’s dusty and more often grueling path of challenges, one should be transformed into a better version of that person of yesteryears. Honed by past experiences and having learned them well, one should be better equipped to see life and the world anew with fresh new interest, appreciation, understanding, and wisdom. This new wisdom tells you that there can be no void where one does not allow it. And if you have paid good attention you will know that to move along is the better option.

Look back often to see what’s gone past or what’s left behind. The past, cruel in some and brilliant in another, have created your passions, desires, expectations putting it all together in one package that people see, interact with, and relate to each day. You were able to give back to life because life has filled you well. Your cup overflowed with a continuing play and exchange of receiving and giving. Times when you dished out master strokes and savored much deserved victories. Euphoria! Then again in another moment you would hit the gutter with sloppy aim and find yourself pulling at your hair in utter disbelief, disappointment, and exasperation. Defeat!

Success and failure, bitter and sweet, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, smart and stupid, joy and sadness, high and low, have and have-not --- you will often find yourself at one end or the other of that broad diverse spectrum. It is a rich life, definitely flawed and imperfect admittedly, .. but totally rich. Learn that what goes on inside a person lends to its richness.

Stay rooted to your history and yet open to the challenges of new things ---- new friendships.. new possibilities.. new awareness, new passions or creativity.. new dreams.. and perhaps a new set of clothes (there's no excuse to be frumpy).

Essence is where you are at in the now. And thank God for such a lovely gift.

Life still can be and is beautiful at or with 60 (or more) birthday candles notwithstanding! A happy birthday to friends celebrating their birthdays this month. Never mind the age.... it's just a number! Happy Birthday! And blessings a hundredfold!

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:-) Here's where I warmly welcome you and where you leave your footprints behind with fond memories attached to it of wonderful chats and friendships. Thank you for your comments. Or send your comments to Will be seeing you in your blog too. God bless you!