A LIGHTED CANDLE

A lighted candle says this to us:

"You have lighted me and now you gaze into my flame. You enjoy the warmth and brightness that I spread. I'm happy to be useful and to burn for your pleasure. Otherwise, i would just be lying idle in some box on a shelf. I only have a meaning - a fulfillment while I am burning, although I know very well that the longer I burn the shorter I become and the nearer I get to the end of my life. And when it is all over, I know that you will say.... 'The candle is burned out.'

I know I have a choice of staying in a box and remaining unseen, untouched, and useless. Or I can burn myself out by giving light and warmth --- and hasten my death by doing so. But I find that giving is more beautiful and meaningful."

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Humans are like that candle. Either we keep boxed up and remain cold and empty ---- or we mix with people and share our warmth and love. This then gives our lives meaning.

A BELL IS NO BELL TILL YOU RING IT ...
A SONG IS NO SONG TILL YOU SING IT ...
THE LOVE IN YOUR HEART WAS NOT PUT THERE TO STAY,
LOVE IS NOT LOVE TILL YOU GIVE IT AWAY.
(Anon.)

LIFE MUST BE LIVED AS WE GO ALONG

I was rummaging through my old files today with the intent to trim it down to the barest essentials; the unimportant would go straight to the garbage bin when I stumbled on this very old article quoted in a daily local paper by a well-known columnist. It was entitled ‘THE STATION’ and written by Robert J. Hastings.

To quote..

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Life is something like this.

We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We see ourselves on long trip, but uppermost in our minds is the final destination. We fret restlessly, damning the minutes that drag … waiting, waiting for the station. “When we reach the station, that will be it" we cry.

Life has many stations, like:

- When I’m 18

- When I buy a new 450 SL Benz

- When I put the last kid through college

- When I have paid off the mortgage

- When I get the promotion

- When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after

But …

Sooner or later we must realize there is NO station, no one place to arrive at once-and-for all. THE TRUE JOY OF LIFE IS THE TRIP. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. REGRET AND FEAR ARE TWIN THIEVES WHO ROB US OF TODAY.

So …

stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less.

LIFE MUST BE LIVED AS WE GO ALONG. The station will come soon enough.

Unquote.

WHAT LESSONS HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM LIFE?

So many lessons to learn from life through the years. Don't we all know it! So many that I lack fingers to count them with Lols! I have put down just five (there's more of course) here which had great impact on my life at those times it appeared. Experiences and lessons I will never ever forget.

Knowing how much the same we each are to one another -- basically running through the same tapestry of life experiences -- wherever you are in the world, whatever you do in life... would you perhaps be interested to share your own life lessons here in the blog with me? There will be so much you can share, I am sure, and I can learn from you too. Life is too short to learn everything there is to learn... and our lives just one to get them all in. So how about it? I'll be waiting.

Here's my list:
- Life doesn’t throw you punches if it doesn’t know you can’t take them
- Freedom in everything means accountability and responsibility too
- It is okay to be yourself but it is absolutely not okay to behave insensitively of others
- Where all else may fail, faith and hope gets you trying one more time
- Always there will be strength you thought wasn’t there
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Write your life lessons in the Comment Box. Then I will post it here in this blog. You can opt to write one, three, or even more. Whatever you feel like doing. :-) I'll be looking forward to your nuggets of wisdom. See yah!!

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Comment

Vyshu said...

Hello Ellen,

Thanks for this wonderful post and the opportunity to share my thoughts..!

#Learn from the mistakes of yours and others too. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself
#In the practice of tolerance, My enemy is my best teacher
#Sticking to the truth is the best way.
When we know our strengths and accept our weaknesses, our confidence is reliable.striking a fine balance between two extremes is the key
#The cause of all joy and distress is our mind. If we can keep our mind & desires in control, it will become a mere observer of things. As an observer, the mind has no direct involvement and hence does not worry about the events. Then, we feel tranquil and have a smooth life. Just as a drop of water on a lotus leaf does not mingle with it, sorrow does not affect us.
#Joy of Giving and Healthy life style..

These are my greatest lessons for now..:) Would love to share more Ellen
Have a nice Day !
Cheers

Friday, August 21, 2009

AmitMakwana said...

yeah...
i learned a lot from your lessons ELLEN...
mine are:

--when you fail, only way left for you is to fight back with double will power...
--more you believe in yourself more you succeed...
--when you are true to your self and open to the world, you feel lighter and can move ahead faster and enjoy your journey to success...
--when you always be yourself, you get the right feedback from others that can help you improvise...
--you need to learn every day from everyone...
--keep your senses alive and alert, opportunities are bound to come your way...
--nobody can keep you away from your dreams and desires... go for it...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Jack said...

Ellen,

Learning is a never ending process. And true it is difficult to list out all you learn. Life teaches you new things all the time. I agree with Vyshu learn from yours as well as other's mistakes so as not to repeat them.

Take care

Friday, August 21, 2009

pearl said...

Ellen, you have said very well and precisely i would not be able to add more, apart from this one thing that during such tough situation only 'silence' works and the faith that God above is there to wade us out of the troubled waters is wat really works!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Pramoda Meduri said...

--> Working with mind may not make everything possible, but working with heart can do it always.
--> Let us take every breath just for our motherland, and ensure that our work will add value to her legacy.
--> Winning is important, but it is not everything.
--> Belief is the one thing that would stabilize your emotions, if not, you are not believing it.
--> To understand a person what he is exactly, never just look at how he behaves with u, but u try to gather how he behaves with others as well.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

indrablog said...

Mine are here (some are very cliched):

--It's good to be nice but it helps to let others know that nicety depends on reciprocation.
--A risk mayn't always work but still it's improtant to take sometimes.
--Knowledge is strength.
--You should forgive but not forget.
--It helps to know what you can and what you can't.

Monday, August 24, 2009

ESSENTIALLY WORKING TOGETHER FOR A BETTER YOU

Here’s a little story.

I had a dream one night.

I saw myself standing on bare dry ground not a mountain or tree in sight -- nothing there but an odd-looking weighing scale. Odd with huge and I say huge, empty plates. Then out of nowhere appeared an old but distinguished looking man with long gray beard that oddly touched the ground. He looked at me with nary an expression on his old wisdom-lined face and raised his right hand in the air. I followed his hand, looked, but saw nothing there. Then he lowered it pointing to the right empty plate on the scale. Soon enough the plate began to fill with the events of my life – the good memories of my life. One by one it filled the plate now almost overflowing. I smiled at the thought of those wonderful moments of the past I dare not ever forget. The scale tipped down apparently under the weight of its load and thereby raised the opposite empty plate high.

I waited for the old man; I felt the show wasn’t finished yet. The opposite plate was still empty. As if reading my thoughts, he raised his left hand the same way he did with his right. It seemed like he was gesturing something or to someone unseen to begin. And similarly when he pointed to the left empty plate, it right away began to fill with the other side of my past – the sad memories there. As it piled one after the other on the plate, I felt my tears fall. The hurt and pain I could not deny despite leaving it all behind with time. I noticed then that the scale stood with both plates evenly at that point. It stayed there so still.

Then he spoke.

“Both the good and the bad times of your life stand equal on the scale. Neither is greater or lesser than the other; both stand invaluable in the work that they do in you. Be grateful for the good that happens and ... be humble in your misfortunes when they occur because both essentially equally work together to create a better ---you.”

The End.

A GOOD FRIEND IS A GIFT FROM GOD

Oh, don't we all get to meet so many different people in this life journey. I have been so lucky to have met and found good people and formed lasting friendships with them. It can never be disputed that wonderful friendships bring wonderful joys and precious memories to last a lifetime.

And yet on the other hand, one does get some rotten apples mixed in there somewhere in the same social basket. oh yes! admittedly a few have managed to make life miserable for me at some points --- behaved in a manner which caused unnecessary pain, hurt. 'Have no idea if they felt any remorse for their behavior then or if they were ever aware if at all. But they taught me something about bad people in our midst. The rule is stay far away - clear far away from them. They can break your heart.

When I was seriously contemplating possible options of crushing the 'enemy' (lols).... I realized that it wasn't the right approach. Of course I couldn’t let the few rotten ones ruin the rest of the bunch -- the good apples in my basket. And neither have them ruin or snuff-out my enjoyment of a basket full of so much good. Good friends and friendships are a rarity, as everybody knows, and certainly are lovely treasures worthy of keeping. I meant to keep my treasures.

So remembering mom's words -- 'sift through the grains to get to the best', I wrote them off my life with these final words ... "I'm done with you"... turned my back and walked away.

We should choose our friends. But because we do get both good and bad apples in the same basket ... resolve to leave those who you discover cannot measure up. And treasure wonderful people who give genuine meaning - honor - and value to the word 'friend' and 'friendship'. Appreciate and celebrate good people and friends. They are part of life’s treasures and blessings.

A good friend is a gift from God.

INTO EACH LIFE SOME RAIN MUST FALL

Trouble comes like rain, so I've been told. But there is no trouble-free life. really. Not even for Bill Gates or the Queen of England. There’s no guarantee that things won’t go wrong, malfunction, break down, go off tangent or totally miss the mark because it does and will. Rain pours down equally on the good and the bad, the rich and the poor, the sick and the healthy, on tattered threads, and on your best Sunday suit. Troubles, like rain, don’t choose their target; no distinctions made, everybody is fair game.

That’s just what I hate about it. I wish that it would pick the likes of a Princess of Someplace or the Maharajah of a kingdom. Lol But, please, spare little ole me-- an ordinary small unknown teeny-weeny person that could very well go through life unnoticed and rocking nobody’s world! But alas it does pick on me, too, and so with every blob of head inhabiting the face of the earth. Why? Because!

Exactly, there’s no plausible explanation why. Troubles come, like it or not, and no amount of pleading or sweet talk can make it skip you. It’s not like .....

'Hey, if I promise to clean up my room, eat my vegetables, and love my enemies, will you NOT come to my door?’

You know what it’ll say to that? “Sure, buddy, clean up your room and the garage, too; devour your vegetables till you puke; and love your enemies till they drop dead incredulous over you --- BUT I’m coming just the same!”.

Can you believe that?!! SOMEBODY stop the world and let me out!! :-)

SET YOUR SAILS TO THE WIND -- ANCHOR YOURSELF ON GOD

No matter how you look at it, God’s presence is in everything. I can’t imagine seeing something in which God didn’t form or create with His own hands. Or have planned. Everything good comes from Him. As for the seemingly ‘bad’ which happens to people to life, I expect opposing points of view. I have no intention though to argue because it is alright to have different perceptions on the matter. My idea is that seeing God’s hand in ‘misfortune’ can be understood with the heart, not with the mind. Ofttimes we've been told that everything happens for a reason. Just as Ravi, blogger friend, said in his blog 'there are no accidents' in life. I believe so too.

Whatever the name each of us may know Him to be, he still is the same one God who holds us individually and collectively --regardless of race, color, or creed -- right there in the palm of his able hands.

You know, although God gave us our minds, I think He operates on the level of our hearts. This is where we can easily talk with Him and through which He prefers to communicate with us. So if you are seeking for reasons or explanations to your 'misfortunes', seek it in your heart. You'll find your God there and have your chat with Him. It works.

I have gone through many storms in my life but I learned to anchor my heart on God. Strong furious winds buffeted my sails and huge waves rocked my ship but truly my anchor kept me safe and steady through it all. Honestly, I won't have it any other way!

THE BLESSED FLAME OF GOOD

- A wrinkled old man bent down over a heap of dry leaves and other debris and lit it up in fire. That done he stepped back and watched the flames gobble up and destroy everything it laid its consuming fiery hands on. Fire is dangerous and yet fire has many good attributes to it too – cooks our food, warms our cold bodies, heats up our homes in winter, and other beneficial things in the name of development and progress.

I'm curious though, what about the fire in the souls of men and women? Is it a fire which consumes itself in its small narrow self-centered world? Or is it one which can scorch without thought or conscience anyone who draws near? Or does it pave destruction along its way with evil intent? What kind of fire do people nurture in their hearts?

One thing I do know…

'Tis better to raise the fire of good in your hearts. Fan the flames to better other people’s lives, warm them with your goodness where they are cold and neglected by the world. Let your fire burn fiercely in pursuit of better hopes and dreams not only for yourself but for others too. Take your fire to greater heights where your light can best shine through to others in service and compassion.

Let yourself be on fire for the right reason ---with peace and harmony, honesty and truth, hope and faith, brotherhood and fair play, mercy and gentle compassion for the underprivileged and deprived, determination and hard work. Shine brightly for others to see how blessed is the fire of good and how so much more blessed it is living a good life!

JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE A MISTAKE - DOES NOT MAKE YOU A MISTAKE

Don’t be afraid to make honest mistakes. So you think that the world will stop on its tracks because you bungled up? Or that your friends will think you stupid or a loser? Or that you will disappoint dozens of relatives and other people who think so highly of you and your talent? Excuse me, but I remember when I was burning over some mistakes, my mom simply said to me that --

"...the best lessons come wrapped in blunders, mistakes, failures, and errors. Because only then will you be able to smooth the rough edges of your character, hone your talents to perfection, and grow into the person you were meant to be --in God’s blueprint of your life."

Thus how then can I, or anyone for that matter, ever become this entire gorgeous package if not through the fire of disappointment, failure, and mistakes?! But she too warned me that it was going to hurt. I then countered -- "Oh okay, but isn’t the sun better and brighter after the rain? Don't rainbows too appear after? I'll set my eyes on that." And she gave me her brightest smile.

Be gentle to yourself. Don’t be quick to blame yourself when things go wrong in your life. Don’t bash yourself so hard believing that you did so badly and you deserve to be thrown into the fire and be devoured by the flames! Dump that attitude. I don’t buy that.

Just because you made a mistake, does not make you a mistake. If you fail in one area of your life --- you still have the rest to shine in! Besides it’s not all your fault because bad situations do come to people, jerks may cross your path, and other people’s bad decisions could affect yours. So why blame it all on yourself? Does that make sense now? Be good to yourself – you’re much better than you give yourself credit for!

REINVENT YOURSELF

Don’t let your college persona determine who you will become. This is something I’d like to say to a friend’s son who can’t find a job – yet. He took up engineering and he feels that everything seems to be blocking him from becoming one. Now that's being shortsighted. Gosh, it's not rare to see engineers work themselves up to the position of Vice President of the Sales Department... or become a very successful media man.

Let me quote this from something I read just recently ------–

To quote --- “ …Unless you really loved who you were in college. It doesn’t matter if you were the nerd, the dumb jock, the bully or the wallflower. College is over and your new life is beginning. Now is the time for reinvention if you deem it necessary. Think Madonna—but maybe not her cone bra phase. If you were the wallflower, break out of your shell. If you were the bully, try to be nicer. The world is waiting -- try to be the best person you can be. Make good decisions. Remember, the decisions you make after college have real-life consequences.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean that you waste your education away. What I’m saying is --- you can’t let it determine you or your future. There is so much more that you can do, not just being what you studied for. That’s a mind set that's limiting you.

Further quote --– “The school you graduated from does not determine the quality of your future.There are still small-minded companies that only accept applicants from the supposed top universities but don’t let that stop you. Just because you came from one of the more popular schools doesn’t mean you can rest easy. And it doesn’t matter either if you came from a school that no one else has heard about. It is you, and not your diploma, that will make your future.” --- Unquote.

There you go. I rest my case. :-)

OUR CLUTTER CLUTTERS UP OUR LIFE AND THE WORLD

Hmm, I'm on a thinking and writing streak on this particular fine morning walk. Let's see what we've come up with this time. Rounding the bend I come upon.... - A young girl sweeping away fallen leaves … Quite in an efficient and meticulous way she sweeps the fallen leaves on the ground bringing them all to a mound on the shoulder of the road. What does she do with this? Well, maybe put them all in the trash can or light them up with a match to burn away in flames. I suppose she does this everyday. But it's only this morning that I see her outside her house. It always looks so quiet whenever I pass this area of the neighborhood.

Funny to think of it, but can we do the same with the clutter in our lives or those in our minds – hearts – souls? Sweep away the clutter of our lives and clean up our act. We have gathered so much clutter though life that we can’t see nor think nor feel straight anymore. Everything seems shrouded or clouded with dirt, suspicion, perversion, doubt and mistrust, twisted and slanted, distortion, untruth and lies, envy and jealousy, ego and pride, and sometimes downright evil.

Oh don’t tell me that it isn’t true cause all you have to do is look around you and see what’s happening near and far. The world is a big mess and we have made it so. And the funnier thing is, we blame a lot of things outside of ourselves, pointing our finger to failed institutions, policies, laws, systems etc and etc – like we have nothing to do with the state of our world or life. Na-a! ..that hand with one finger you're pointing at someone or something also has three fingers pointing back at you.

Think again. Who runs the affairs of the world? Who runs these institutions we so speak of? Who runs life in this self-destructive human form? People! And people is you and me and others – us! So if nobody (meaning us people) would at least try to clear up that clutter within and without, we are all going to explode one day –--- in one big bang!

Maybe this is what is meant by the ‘end of the world’??? Quite a pessimistic point of view -- am not liking it either, but doesn’t that make some sense too? Think about it.

NURTURE LIFE - NOT HURT OR DESTROY IT

An early morning walk does wonders to one's soul --- if you let it. This one morning cool and crisp brought me to usual paths and neighborhood. A familiar figure caught my attention as I walked passed by. ----

- A middle-aged housewife watering her small modest garden … Such a lovely garden kept lush and green, flowers in bloom in every nook and cranny of the small lot all cared for by her nurturing hand. She looked happy, content, serene, at peace in and with her little corner of the world. I am sure that the plant kingdom feel that way too. But who wouldn't be when touched by gentle caring nurturing hands?

Come to think of it, isn’t that quite so much what a human being needs– this kind of nurturing of body, mind, and soul?

A human being can’t always cope fully alone by himself in this world of continuing change and challenge. Can you imagine just how and what a well-meaning word of encouragement, hope, faith, care, inspiration, stimulation, motivation can do to another person weak in his own resources, power, and strength? It can take so little to create miracles. Believe this. The power is in you to do just that.

People need nurturing too and other things besides– homes, family, children, old folks, friends, relationships, ambition and dreams, business, projects, organizations, companies, towns, countries, pets, environment, etc and etc. Life and all that it affects undoubtedly need nurturing and constant care no matter what.

How can there be continuity in our lives if everything is allowed to wither away and die alone all by itself? Continuity or life is sealed with a huge hunk of nurturing. And I'll say it again --- the power is in you, me, us --- to do just that.

A WEED IS NO MORE THAN A FLOWER IN DISGUISE

The paths I walk round the mountain slopes are lined with weeds, ugly weeds, bare and useless. Let me ask you this --- What are the weeds in your life today? Is it a disappointment, a falling of hopes and dreams, a betrayal, a failed or false expectation, an obnoxious person who makes life thorny for you, or a dead-end? Does that all make you want to give up? Willing to gather those weeds and throw them into the furnace? Wait! I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

No matter how much suffering or pain these things may have caused you, it can still be a source of joy and beauty. But only IF you agree and decide to look again AND hard enough. There’s something you are undoubtedly missing. Behind the bad times and worse struggles and difficult people around you are the unseen opportunities for growth in wisdom and maturity.

I’ve said this many times before and I will say it again – only through the fire shall we become even better. So, it may be necessary to experience bad times or the hopeless dead-ends -- so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can come out of it, and watch how you can grow from small to greatness.

The weeds that you see in your life – are actually dazzling flowers in disguise. Gorgeous flowers of wisdom, hope, faith, growth, courage, strength, and dreams renewed again and again. Truly a weed is no more than a flower in disguise. Don’t pluck out your weeds ----- just reveal the flower within.

THINGS CHANGE VISIBLE OR NOT

I'm taking this post written sometime back here now because it so describes what my thoughts are today. So here I am back at my computer over the familiar key board with the intent to write. Well, the intent to write and actual writing are two different things I’ve found out. You can muster up all the intent you may need to write but often it doesn’t usually fall into actual writing--- while writing sometimes doesn’t need serious intent. Strange -- but not really. It happens. :-) Now let’s get on with this and see what the Muses have been churning up in my recent brief hiatus.

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I started the day with the usual early morning walk up-down the slopes and round this residential area one of many dotting the hills of Antipolo. Gazing round I could say that nothing has changed really. The houses look the same, the people do the same things every morning, the trees are still there, and the same black Doberman ‘greets’ me with a booming gruff bark as I pass his private domain. Thank God for the huge steel gate this keeps him from tearing me up to pieces lolz. Anyway as I continued my walk with those thoughts, these words came into mind ---

“While we flatter ourselves that things remain the same, they are changing under our very eyes from year to year, from day to day.” (Charlotte Perkins Gilman)

So--- where then is this change I do not see? So I stopped walking--- let my eyes roam seeking that ‘change’ so spoken of. Fortunately I stood on a high vantage point which allowed me a good vista of my neighborhood—my place called home. From my left I saw all sorts of trees – tall, in various shapes and sizes, and in the deep darkest of green. But wait…the color seemed to have gone lighter in spots. Are those new leaves sprouting? How interesting! Whoa! Is that a new paint on Mr. Benny’s gate? -- Didn’t see that before. Hey, somebody’s building a new house down at the end of the road. Why didn’t I notice that?! Oh boy, what used to be a vine of flat disc-shaped leaves draping the fence of a friend’s house, now has white blossoms in its midst. Lovely! I almost missed it. I continued my survey of the now interesting landscape of nature, houses, and people before me. My eyes hovered over the area like radar seeking out unfamiliar objects but this time with fresh anticipation of something new. I was greatly rewarded with priceless treasures that no longer stood hidden to me but was revealed by my willingness to see.

Yet my curiosity was even more aroused when I began to wonder – apart from things, just what change goes on inside the person. I smiled at the thought of immense possibilities that could transpire in the minds and hearts of people. Indeed, subtly or visibly, change happens outside of us and within us no doubt. Because things and people grow – develop. Change is growth. Life is all about change – is all about growth – is all about us moving from one place to another. In that movement we leave behind bits of our layers and at the same time take on new ones sprouting to replace the old. We evolve, transform, progress, improve, mature, and learn-unlearn-relearn. This is our change. This takes place under our very eyes from year to year, from day to day.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” ---- (Henri Bergson)

Well, I think this morning's walk gave me more than I had hoped for. I was proceeding down the slope heading for home when Mrs. Reyes, the neighborhood gossip, saw me and engaged me in a chat or should I say ‘gossip’. Not wanting to be rude I let her have her ‘chat’. Anyway, this lady is part of the ‘landscape’ too lolz. As she babbled away, I listened and intently watched her face. Wrinkles etched deeply at the corners of her eyes-- and silver locks of hair mingled with her usual dark tresses. ‘Changed’, I thought.

“You know I saw Mia’s daughter the other day at the mall. Remember she got married to this young army officer the other year? She’s your godchild, right?” spoke Mrs. Reyes breaking up my thoughts.

“Yes, so how is she now?” I replied.

“Oh but she hasn’t changed a bit. She has remained the same girl we knew so well when she was here living with her mom.”

“Remained the same? How wonderful!”… And I smiled.

But of course I knew better. Things and people may remain the same – but not really. At that point, I took my leave and walked on home. Rounding the corner I looked back briefly and there she was ---‘chatting’ with another friend. Maybe some things do not change – but then again not really.