The Friends List in Facebook
A good friend is trimming down her list for reasons of her own and, if you think hard about those reasons, it does make a lot of sense. At least she is being honest and true to herself. It is hard to carry on with something quite unclear or shall we state it bluntly which in truth has become a one-way street and not a two-way avenue as originally meant to be on this site or any other similar sites.
There are mixed responses to the Friends List with each his or her own view or reason for having it or not having it.... and boy! to many here all of the 600 to 1000 and even more. I have a good number in my box and now brought down to just about a few and I believe it will go down some more as the need arises or as life dictates it. Can you imagine hanging on to all of your 1000-and-still counting!? The box will explode and so will you as you try to keep tabs with each one on that list! All friendships in fb begin from 'Add friend to...'. From that you move on to forever friends -- sometimes friends -- forgotten friends -- Here-Today-Gone-Tomorrow friends. The choice, by the way, is all up to you. But it always takes two to tango, as in most things in life are.
Good friends and friendships are treasures, one of many that we have and enjoy in life. But even on this turf there are also rules and expectations which help keep it alive and vibrant. One and essential is .. active communication. That by itself alone nurtures friendships of any kind, near or far. In the absence of it, the friendship withers away and eventually dies. But as we all know life is a difficult taskmaster ... it imposes its mind on us puny humans. It gets what it wants. We simply follow, even if we think we are doing what we want. So often we find ourselves taken into different directions, goals, settings and experiences, like it or not. So that is life.
The whole point of this story is .... keep close friends close if possible and those who have to be far from you although not always or necessarily by choice --- set them free, let them continue with their journey to their own respective destinies or as life dictates to them. You will know when they're gone... when you no longer have the usual communication with them (months or years of prolonged silence or inactivity is an indication). I mean do not hold them back unnecessarily by keeping them on your friends list indefinitely that they would become quite uncomfortable knowing that they have neglected in some measure the friendship without notice. And as for you who have been trimmed off someone's Friend List, don't feel so bad instead be relieved and grateful because you have been saved from being honest about that one certain omission. Yes, I know, honesty is not always easy in some cases. But we're not children here playing with this toy. We are mature adults being responsible with our toys.
Set them free .. from your Friends List. Let's be open-minded about this. Doing that does not have to mean that the ties are being severed (except for some necessary odd cases). It only means that --- you understand and that the friendship is still kept in the heart where true friendships truly reside. And when one day he or she will return and reconnects with you... welcome it and rejoice. Even if that person would leave again, it's still okay. Then you would know that this friendship stood strong through the test of time, Friends List or no Friends List. Isn't that what true friendship is all about?
Life is better lived being true to yourself.
The same thing goes in friendships.